'Modern Family' recap: Fright night

modern-familyImage Credit: Michael Desmond/ABC

I don’t know about you guys, but I really missed my Family these past two weeks, and this episode was the perfect welcome back. It kept things in the family, no cameos, no big stunts, just each member doing what they do best. And it started off with a bang — with everyone stating what his or her greatest fears were. My favorites:

Alex’s: “Global warming. And getting a B.” (In my opinion, this was one of Alex’s funnier episodes. Her snarky comments really had bite.)

Mitchell’s: “Hotel bedspreads.” Especially following Cameron’s heartfelt fear of losing Mitchell.

Haley’s: “Never getting my driver’s license, or getting one and the picture sucks.” Always so awesomely shallow.

And, of course, Manny’s: “Dying alone. ”  ’nuff said.

The highlights of this episode for me were Phil and Luke’s goofy treasure hunt, especially when they were guessing what could be  hidden under the house: “bugs frozen in amber, ” “really expensive bottles of wine,” “ancient Indian arrow heads.”  Cameron and Mitchell’s hilariously awkward butt-kissing brunch with Lily’s pediatrician — I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, I could happily watch an entire episode with just the two of them.  And last but not least, Claire’s painful dance moves in the DMV parking lot — did anyone else get flashbacks of Elaine from Seinfeld???

And now onto what you’ve all been waiting for, the best quotes of the evening.

“I understand about 20% of what goes on around here.”  — Jay

“But go to dinner with him and wait for the check to come, then you’ll see fear in his eyes. It’s like the waiter’s a ghost.” — Jay, in response to Gloria’s statement that Manny’s father is not afraid of anything

“Take it down a notch, we’re trying to make a friend, not initiate a three-way.” – Mitchell to Cameron, who was over-complimenting their pediatrician

“Well, her first word was every gay father’s worst nightmare.” – Mitchell, after Lily calls her pediatrician Mommy

“He gets dizzy when they spin the chair at the barber shop.”– Jay, about Manny’s fear of roller coasters

“He comes from a long line of fishers and smugglers, but I encourage the fishing. ” -Gloria, about Manny

“The recipe is from the now-defunct Gourmet magazine. Why do all the things I love go away?” – Cam, after Lily calls her pediatrician Mommy

“We can’t ignore the giant panda in the room. ” – Cam (again) after Lily calls her Asian pediatrician Mommy

“Wake up old man, she’s trying to get me on the roller coaster. ” – Manny to Jay, about Gloria’s plot to get him on the roller coaster.

“I’m not man enough to fight this.”  -Manny, about the roller coaster

“The only way she’ll be happy is if I’m some Asian stereotype, but that just isn’t me.” – Lily’s Asian pediatrician (and cut to her slamming into a garbage can and parked car while backing out of the driveway and exclaiming, “I didn’t see those”). Blatantly racist, yes, but still brilliantly funny.

So, did you miss these guys as much as I did?  What were your favorite moments? Which quotes did I miss? And did Claire’s dance moves remind you of Elaine’s?

Comments (165 total) Add your comment
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  • Ceballos

    The “Take it down a notch…” quote from Mitchell in this episode was my favorite and made me laugh out loud. I also like that “Take it down a notch” appears to be a thing among the Pritchett men.

    Also, (though it’s not a quote) Manny’s fishing outfit (especially the cap) had me rolling for some reason.

    • paige

      the sweater!!!

      • paige

        was it me, or was this the first episode that juggled more than 3 storylines? for a half hour series, thats impressive considering it didnt feel overstuffed

      • Ceballos

        the sweater was good – but I think the sideways cap clinched it for me.

      • Ceballos

        *not so much that it was “sideways” – just how it was stylishly tilted.

      • Bob

        @Paige – agree. There were 5 story lines in this one (roller coaster, treasure hunt, dance gitters, drivers test and three-way) and it didn’t feel overstuffed. It did feel like an hour long show, but in a good way.

      • J’s Grandma

        Oh yes, the sweater!!!

      • Buddy

        Was Manny dressed like Hemmingway? I thought it was brilliant.

      • cranky

        That was TOTALLY a ladies’ sweater, too.

    • Bird

      Yup; I took one look at Manny’s fishing ensemble and burst out laughing; had to rewind three times!

    • Debbie

      I totally flashed on “The Old Spice Man” when I saw Manny. Classic!!

    • J

      Manny is hands-down my favorite character. “I’m not man enough to fight this…Here, hold my purse.” He’s like a cuter, more endearing, Columbian version of Oscar Wao.

      • T

        And a lot less tragic, I hope.

  • Paco

    Yesterday’s episode was one of the most hilarious ones so far. The Giant Panda in the room line had me laughing for like 5 minutes straight.

    • Jai

      Like I’m totally cereal it was about 5 or 6 minutes!…that my drink came out of my nose.

    • Damon

      I cried!

    • Seymour

      “Pandas are from China. I am Japanese.”

  • Lisa

    This show just makes me happy. It is so funny but has such great heart. You mentioned my favorite lines but I also enjoyed Haley asking the driving instructor to smile and then realizing it didn’t help.

    • ET

      I loved that too! Also when Alex said “Now I totally see why you’re with Dad” after Claire’s dance.

      • Arriettty

        That was the line of the night for me too!

      • J

        Actually, she said, “Now you and Dad together makes so much sense.”

  • AROD

    I loved when Claire was yelling at Hailey in the car to stop using the word “like”. Also, Hailey not knowing her right from her left…

  • Conor

    what about the ‘LIKE’ scene in the car with Claire and Haley (and a friend of Haleys), Claire asking her Haley to stop using the word ‘like’ and it turns into a fight, i had to rewind and watch again, a definite belly laugh! best scene in the whole episode!

    • ME

      Especially, the expression on Haley’s friend in the back as mom & daugher are yelling at each other over something so silly.

      • aitzko

        Haha, I loved that, especially since I could TOTALLY relate to it from my own teen years! Yes, even down to the mortified best friend in the back seat. :)

      • Debbie

        The sad thing is, I can totally relate to this scene as a mom!! It’s sooo much fun to embarrass your kids!

  • DTF

    How great was Manny’s fisherman outfit

    • Emily

      My favorite part, too!

  • Karen

    Claire: “She has trouble paying attention to two things at once.”

    Haley: “Always a good quality in a driver.”

    • joey

      Actually, that was Alex, not Haley

    • Damon

      Ahhhhhhhhhhhh..Alex is underrated with her one liners..

      • Justin

        Good call, Damon.

      • mkaffeine

        The look on Alex’s face as she was dancing with that kid at the end. More Alex!

  • edwina

    manny is the new bobby hill

    • julia

      you’re right…only better!

    • Ambient Lite

      That must be why I love him so much!

  • Kim

    I loved Manny’s ‘Old Man and the Sea’ fisherman outfit and Gloria trying to encourage him: “You were afraid to light the barbecue at first but your eyebrows grew back and now your salmon is legenday!”

    • maria

      “and now your salmon is legendary” was what got me last night! i died laughing.

      • Jason

        That was my favorite line too! I quoted that all night – “your salmon is legendary!” What ten year old but Manny would that fit? So funny!

    • Kisha

      My favorite part!I didn’t see Manny going there at all to Jay.

    • My fav too!

      THAT line was hysterical!!!!

  • flicketyflack

    Another great line was Phil’s total misreading the contractor’s perverted line looking at Haley and saying “That’s quite a collection you’ve got down there.”

    Also Gloria saying “Manny you have to face your fears. You were afraid to light the barbecue but now your eyebrows have grown back.”

    The panda line was SO wrong but SOOO funny.

    • Mark

      “That’s quite a collection” misunderstanding was my favorite line, too – and I loved how it set Phil and Luke off on their crazy adventure.

      • Easth

        AAAH!! I missed that one! Thank goodness for TIVO, I could watch these over and over and still crack up!

      • Anon

        Call me clueless, but what does he mean? I knew it didn’t mean what Phil thought it did but couldn’t figure out what it was.

      • blank

        it was referring to the SKULLS

  • Tomm

    Gloria’s green hat.

  • Jeff

    Alex after seeing her Mother’s dancing: “You and Dad together suddenly makes so much sense”

    • Madd


    • Bob

      My favorite line too!

  • supergrover

    When Claire was dancing, Alex saying something about how now her being together with Phil is starting to make sense….

    • Justin

      OMG! I can’t believe that’s how Claire dances!

  • flicketyflack

    Oh and Alex saying “Even the advice I get’s a hand me down.”

    Everything about this episode worked.

    • Ceballos

      I also liked Claire repeatedly telling Alex “someone will ask you to dance” until Alex finally broke down.

      It was straight out of “Good Will Hunting”. (“It’s not your fault.”)

      • Ambient Lite

        Wow, excellent call! Both great examples of the repeating-until-breakdown technique. Maybe this would be effective in our daily lives…
        Ceballos: “You ARE my girlfriend, you ARE my girlfriend, you ARE my girlfriend…”
        Christina Hendricks: “Yes, I see it clearly now, yes I am.”

      • Ceballos

        That seems about right – except that instead of just saying “Yes, I can see it clearly now…” she’d collapse into my ever-welcoming arms after breaking down.

        It’s not that far-fetched. (I’m being serious – go ahead and Google image the guy she’s married to. All I’ll say is that he must be a hell of a charming guy.)

      • Madd

        Ceballos has a point. She IS married to that guy from Super Troopers. And I would do the same thing, only with Jon Hamm (of course).

      • Ambient Lite

        Ugh, you’re right…he must be INCREDIBLY charming. Magical peen or something. It’s just that she hasn’t met you yet! heh

      • paige

        gross, he looks like a male version of Sigourney Weaver…

    • Vic

      Heh. My favourite line of the episode!

      • Carver

        Brit inna house!

    • Jack

      This ep really showcased the talented child actors they have on this show; I mean the whole cast is sterling, but every one of the kids(even Lily!) had the spotlight. I laughed out loud when the doctor knocked over the trash cans — yeah, so wrong, but so LOL funny!

    • Damon

      Alex is underrated..I cried!

  • BeaAnn

    When the pediatrician pulled out of the driveway, yes, you said it. It was wrong, but it was so funny. I couldn’t stop laughing.

    • Josh

      My roommate and I died laughing when she said she wasn’t a stereotype and then backed into the trash cans, we didn’t even notice she hit the car pulling away until we rewound and watched it again!

    • anona muss

      It was so stereotypical. I’d be offended except my Chinese neighbor (she really is from China) hit my car in my own driveway. She asked me to let her know the total $ because if it went over XXX amt of dollars, she’d have a huge increase in her premiums since it was her 3rd accident of the year! And it was May!

    • Kristen

      As a half asian, I was laughing so hard. and yes I am a bad driver too!

      • Justin

        Props to you for admitting that!!

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