Are we a little sad that Robert Pattinson didn’t end up talking about Betty White and vaginas with Jon Stewart last night like he did with Barbara Walters on Tuesday? Of course. But at least Stewart made the now routine questions about fame, the Twilight love triangle, and Pattinson’s musical ability colorful. When Pattinson said you learn to ignore the paparazzi, Stewart said he got it: They become like background noise. “Let me ask you a question,” he said, “When am I gonna hear that [bleepin'] song? That’s what I want to know, Pattinson.” Stewart feigned anger again when he demanded an answer to why Bella uses Jacob as an emotional crutch and leads him on when “we all know she [bleepin'] belongs with Edward.” (He admitted he had someone write that little performance piece for him.) When the subject turned to Pattinson’s possible backup career, Stewart asked, “Do you dabble in music because you were worried you weren’t gonna get laid enough?”
All good stuff, but I wanted more from this sitdown than Stewart’s punchlines. I expected him to find a way to get something real out of Pattinson, something new, and instead, it was just the same interview everyone else has done — only funnier. Pattinson looked like he had a good time, and after doing as much press as he’s already done for Remember Me, I’m sure he appreciated Stewart doing the heavy-lifting. But do talk show hosts need to try a little harder when they interview Pattinson — the fact that his fans have overrun your studio may be a surprise to you, Mr. or Ms. Talk Show Host, but to anyone who’s seen him do any appearance before yours, it’s not — or are we expecting the impossible?