Image Credit: MTVI don’t have sisters, I’m hopefully at least two decades away from having teenaged children, and I’m a man. So if you want to argue that I have no idea what I’m talking about when I talk about 16 and Pregnant, you’re probably right. But I do know great TV when I see it, and I am truly fascinated by the show’s emotional depth and no-bull docudrama. It’s almost repulsive how completely the show seems to capture the bruised hearts of these girls.
Obviously, this is MTV, so there’s a whiff of unhealthy glamour even in the grittiest handheld-camera-filmed OBGYN appointment. (The worst part about watching this second season of 16 and Pregnant is imagining these girls with positive pregnancy tests in their hand, thinking, “Hey, I can go on MTV!”) But at the best moments of the show (which, admittedly, are usually the worst moments for the people onscreen), it feels like the network has grafted the impeccable stylistic timing of a more fun reality hour – The Hills, or The Jersey Shore – onto a real human emotional spectrum.
Last night’s pregnant teen, Nikkole, introduced herself: a cheerleader, “definitely a princess,” a girl with a lot of friends (“One of our favorite pastimes is TP’ing houses,” she explained). She never used condoms with her boyfriend – I tried to find a PG-rated euphemism for their method of birth control, and the best that I could come up with is “Leaving the party early.” If nothing else, 16 and Pregnant really does function as the best sex-ed video ever.
Nikkole was a bit more recessive than some of the other young moms we’ve seen on the series so far. At least as presented by the show, she’s a quiet person surrounded by big personalities. (Tellingly, when she plays Rock Band, she plays the drums: the least flashy but most difficult instrument.) She’s positively surrounded by friends who adore her – I love the familiar, nonjudgmental playful way that Becca greeted her, “Hey, Preggo!” You got the vibe that Nikkole was a part of several different friendship groups — that many of her friends weren’t necessarily friends with each other.
Still, all of her friends (and her mother) were in agreement on one thing: her boyfriend, Josh, was not good for her. And although it’s not my place to pass judgment on another human being, I’m inclined to agree with that assessment. Even in the short history of 16 and Pregnant’s untrustworthy baby-daddies, Josh managed to achieve incredible new lows of moral douchebaggery. He was hurling insults at Nikkole’s friends, and complaining “You’re taking up all the bed” while Nikkole was IN LABOR. (There was also Kyla, the Other Woman, never onscreen but always present.)
I don’t want to rail too much on Josh, because he’s just a child, and his problematic personality is at least partially our fault: there was something utterly American in his proud refusal to listen to any argument, and his myopically self-regarding view of the world. “Are you gonna be mad? Because I don’t wanna listen to you.” “I’m done talking, because I already did it.” Watching this show, I realize that these kids have only known a world of ideology-catering news networks and PR-inflected politicians. Watching this show, I’ve never felt so happily old.
“I think guys’ pain tolerance is super high than women’s,” Josh said when Nikkole complained about labor pains. Nikkole’s mom, Rikki, said, “Yeah, I’m sure it is,” and the cameras caught her flashing a little knowing smile. What do men know about pain? The most fascinating part of 16 and Pregnant is how completely it brings us into a world populated almost entirely by women. 16 and Pregnant is most essentially the story of women left to endure men’s mistakes.
The show has its problems. I’m not so hot on the cartoon interludes, for one thing. Like bad narration in movies or the “enhanced” episodes of Lost, the cartoons basically serve the purpose of loudly broadcasting emotions and facts that are better left minimalist and implicit. I don’t think we really need to see Nikkole, Josh, and Rikki shackled together, in mock classroom-doodles, to understand their particular power dynamics. And I’ve never been so hot on MTV’s decision to subtitle the songs on the soundtrack, either (“Nikkole’s been stood up on Homecoming night; this heartwarming moment is brought to you by Moonlit Sailor!”)
Still, there were moments last night that were as dramatically exciting as anything the documentary format has ever captured. When Nikkole was about to leave for the hospital for induced labor, she explained to her mom why she was scared about giving birth: newborn babies are “all purple and white and red.” Later, around hour 17 of labor, there was a three-way war between Rikki, Josh, and Josh’s mom, with Nikkole left groaning in pain on the bed, “You guys, stop.” At the end of the episode, after Josh had done just about everything to drive Nikkole away, she could still only stare at the camera and say, “I love him.” And then there were the tough, painful words that ended the episode: “If I could’ve made a different decision, I would have.”
What did you think of the episode, viewers? Were you, like me, entertained/appalled to see Josh and Nikkole playing around with OBGYN equipment, like a couple of bored kids on lunch break? Are you troubled by 16 and Pregnant? To my eyes, the show doesn’t preach a particular moral view one way or the other, but I can certainly see how the show can offend both liberal and conservative audiences. And can someone maybe talk to Kyla about her taste in men, please?
We actually watch this in my high school’s health class. I really enjoy it. It is about time MTV put something else on the air besides the normal trash.
W h O R E S SLU TS and Lowlifes
The best teenager birth control is to stop romancing motherhood and child rearing. Disenfranchised girls need to appreciate that men and boys that are daddy’s aren’t doing the day-in day-out care of these babies. Maybe this will help!!! PS>>>>Love the show. Been watching it since first season. But Nikki was the first one I felt VERY sorry for…she and her baby daddy are morons!! At least most of the girls are strong willed and either get the guy in line or dump the idiot.
I agree, he is a worthless excuse for a father.. and She isnt anybetter because she stayed with him for so long after he did her horribly wrong
i have been wanting to vent about this relationship since i saw this episode. i wish josh’s mother would beat the hell out of her ignorant dissrespectful son. and i wish nikkole’s mother would have taught her some self respect and tell her she deserves so much better than this a$$hole she unfortunatly chose to start a family with. if anyone ever dared talk to my mother like that in front of me i feel bad for then. i would come unglued. i really sincerly hope these two arent together anymore for the everyones sake unless they both made drastic personality changes.
best euphemism for what i think you are describing: “pull and pray”
(and that’s a description i once heard used by a married woman to describe she and her husband’s flawed BC method)
this made my morning.
My teacher in high school once asked “what do you call people that use the pull out method: parents”… so true soo true.
LOL.
It’s not such a bad thing to do when coupled with more reliable birth control methods, like using the pill and/or condoms. But doing that without either one? That’s playing with fire.
I really wish MTV had more shows like this and True Life, and fewer scripted reality shows like My Life As Liz and (blech) The Hills.
Amen. True Life and 16 are about the only good shows left on the channel.
I agree. If 16 and Pregnant isn’t enough of a PSA to keep teen girls from getting pregnant, I don’t know what will.
And while True Life doesn’t always hit a home run (I’m a Jersey Girl, anyone?), but when it finds good subject matter, it’s undeniably fascinating. They even tackled gaming culture in an honest way without pandering to stereotypes.
The Buried Life is pretty amazing.
buried life sucks
This show is like the first 5 minutes of the movie Idiocracy. Stupid people having more stupid people.
I truly think that whenever I watch this show, thank you!
couldn’t agree more john!!! stupid people having more stupid people! omg!
How about Stupid People watching Stupid People having more Stupid People?
Seems spot on to me…
How about stupid people watching stupid people who get paid to be stupid while you don’t
nice to know your opinion , but you really shouldn’t judge her . she’s not stupid . shes my friend & an amazing mother .the only stupid person in our lives is josh !
She may not be stupid, but she has terrible, terrible judgment, even for a teenager. And she obviously doesn’t think much of herself to continue associating with someone who is so clearly a narcissistic loser (yes, he’s just a kid, but his behavior was extreme even for a kid) Do you have any insight on why she chose such a horrible d-bag and then had a baby with him? Her mother seemed very loving. Is this what happens to girls when their fathers are not in the picture? (They didn’t mention him at all, so I’m assuming he’s not around.)
Josh is hands down the worst guy ever on sixteen and pregnant.
Honestly, I thought Bentley’s dad was the worst (can’t remember his name, but he was on 16 and Pregnant and subsequently on the follow up show with his girlfriend–now ex–who is supermom btw) but Josh takes the cake. Of all the guys on this show, I think he’s hands down the absolute WORST of them all. He’s the dude you don’t want your daughter to know, let alone know in the biblical sense. And his mother is THE reason he’s the way he is. If you watched how she kinds stood by for a LONG time while he acted a donkey in the delivery room, you can clearly see that. She finally stepped up, but my face would have been slapped off if I EVER talked to a grown up like that, let alone in front my mother.
Nikkole has a douche for a father of her kid. I hope she stays single for a while, grows up and chooses wisely in the future.
Agree, I think Ryan (Bentley’s dad) was last season;s worst. And Maci really was supermom on Teen Mom.
That labor scene was awful. That poor girl was in so much pain, and her boyfriend, mother, and boyfriend’s mother were all yelling at each other. My high school was in a very stuck-up suburb outside of Pittsburgh, and there was one girl in my school- she was a year older then me- who ever got pregnant when my sister and I went there. I remember how surprisingly supportive her friends were, and that she was later voted Prom Queen. Still, it was the best safe sex warning possible for a bunch of sixteen year old girls.
TOTALLY – i was wondering WHY is his mother letting him act like this?? in front of HER mother?? incredibly disrespectful, i wanted to jump through the screen and slap the hell out of that punk kid
Seriously that was what I was thinking too. At least Ryan made some effort to be involved in Maci’s life and wasn’t crazy controlling like Josh. Ugh, poor Nikkole. I feel for her and her child.
Ryan was and most likely still is a jerk….I hope that Maci has gotten as far away from him as she can…There is a guy out there that will treat her with respect and Ryan is not that person….I feel sorry for the girl that ends up with that guy…
His mother needed to slap his face. Actually after the “men have a higher pain tolerance than woman” comment I was praying for the doctor to body-slam him .
i couldn’t believe how rude and uncaring he was toward nikkole and rikki and his mom while she was in labor. i was literally yelling at my television because he was being so mean. he really needs a kick in the butt. he didn’t want to grow up and that is what it is. i never in my life have come across someone who was that ridiculously cocky. he really upset me and i felt so bad for this girl who was so in love and couldn’t stick up for herself. clearly this dude was in it for the camera’s. what a loser!
Ryan is a close second….
Yeah and probably the worst boyfriend/father ever. Really unfortunate that she chose a guy like him. He doesn’t deserve her at all. He needs to grow up, stop being so immature and stubborn, and be a man. Because to me, this is a poor excuse of a man.
or is he the realist?
I think this statement in the article, Darren, may need further explanation: “16 and Pregnant is most essentially the story of women left to endure men’s mistakes.” Because I don’t understand how the situations on this show can be described as such. It takes two people to make a baby and so maybe it was the man’s mistake, sure, but it was the woman’s mistake as well. The only difference is that he can walk away and she has to physically, emotionally and mentally endure the consequences of BOTH of their mistakes.
You’re right about that. I have cousin who became a father at sixteen and while he’s still with his girlfriend (who was 18 at the time), he blamed her for getting pregnant.
She used to sleep over at his parents’ house and said one night she “seduced” him.
First off, it takes two to Tango, secondly I really doubt she seduced him. Secondly why are the parents letting their son’s girlfriend sleepover at that age?
Agreed, as a man, i was offended by this statement: “16 and Pregnant is most essentially the story of women left to endure men’s mistakes.” This is a bad precedent to set: that its the man’s responsibility for birth control, and the man’s fault for pregnancy. News flash: its not the guys responsibility, nor is it the girls responsibility. ITS BOTH! Male and female contraceptives exist and have existed for a long time and are easily available, and are most effective when used together. Its up to each couple to discuss what they are BOTH going to do to prevent pregnancy and STD’s. And if they are too immature to have this conversation, then they are of course too immature to have sex.
Perhaps you were pointing out the subsequent mistakes this father made and many other fathers on the show (after the initial pregnancy), thus leaving the women to fend for themselves. Then at least I understand your statement, but I wish that you would amend it to say “16 and Pregnant is most essentially the story of women left to endure their partner’s mistakes.” That way, its not a gender that is identified as negative, just the douchey boyfriend.
Well said. I think the reference to “mistakes” was more meant to describe how the men deal with the news, and not so much how the couple got into the situation in the first place, though.
I agree that it’s not just a man’s job to handle birth control, but I think what the writer was trying to point out is that once the girl is pregnant, she’s the one who has to deal with everything. Doesn’t have to be the case, sometimes the dad steps up. But in these teenage situations a lot of times they don’t (ahem Ryan).
I think the mistake he is referring to isn’t the pregnancy but the father’s actions after and during the pregnancy. Most of the fathers on the show are immature jacka$$es with the young mothers having to deal with reality on their own.
To Lisa A:
Well stated.
I knew what Darren Franich meant by that (i.e., guys have the flexibility to leave, while women always have to deal with the child), but you’re right about both genders being at fault for the unintended pregnancy.
Totally agree. Both parties carry full responsibility. I will say however that teen boys are often play into the insecurities and vulnerability of teen girls, ie “If you REALLY love me, you’d do it without condoms.” I have heard that over and over again. While a girl/woman carries full responsiblity for her actions and decisions, some of these teen girls are so desperate for love that they don’t have the ability to make a wise decision in the moment. Doesn’t take the responsibility off of them, but it does give a little insight as to why they may make poor decisions. And, also agree with other posters that the male in the picture often does not own up to his own responsiblity.
I saw a few episodes last year and the reunion that came later. Cailyn was the only who gave her baby up for adoption, which surprised me.
Maybe if more teenagers saw this, either at home or in the school’s health class, they’d think twice about having sex at such a young age. Or if they do, make sure both they and their boyfriend are both thinking and practicing birth control.
I agree that this show is better than the average reality fare with adults. @ John, does being a 16 year old girl make her “stupid” or did you just want to post something snarky? Doesn’t matter. Last season, there was Caitlyn, who gave her child up for adoption. Her emotional awareness far exceeded the adults in her life. The point of the show illustrates that having a child as a teenager is hard; I hope MTV follows this next round of moms through Teen Mom, which is twice as compelling as 16 and Pregnant.
I am pretty sure his comment was more about the idea of this show and the plot of Idiocracy. Which if you have not watched then you do not understand what his comment meant and should probably not comment on it.
Yeah, but Caitlyn had another pregnancy scare. How smart is that?
Sara:
I have watched the show so maybe shouldn’t comment instead of making assumptions.
Your sentence does not make sense, and I was talking about the movie, not the show. Obviously the people commenting on this board have seen teh show.
I think this show trying to point out that the issue here is that with all the work that has been in science to advance birth control and pregnancy prevention, women are not using them. Most pregnancies in this country are unplanned and counts for adult women too. We need more pregnancy prevention education rather than this tired divisive argument of pro life vs. pro choice. I am, as we all should consider, pro family planning.
Very well said!!
It doesn’t matter what birth control we have out there…there is enough to prevent pregnancy. No matter what, there will always be teens out there who either want babies or don’t care enough to use protection. Always those kids who get wrapped up in the moment and say to hell with the condom. Unplanned pregnancy will never go away. There is so much awareness now and so many different methods of birth control. Teens are to immature to realize that there will be consequenses. It does not matter how many times they are told to be responsible. Some teens listen…some don’t! It will never change!!!
I was clenching my fists watching this episode. Josh’s mother should be blamed for his attitude. She needed to raise him better and put the smack-down when he was little. I feel sorry for Nikkole and especially her mother for having to put up with a LOSER like Josh. Kyla – RUN AWAY QUICKLY!!!
I’m a 28 year old female who watches both 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom regularly, and after last night’s episode I was compelled to share my thoughts… somewhere, anywhere! This is the first episode that actually made me feel “empty” inside. I was sad for Nikkole because she’s too young to understand the consequences of her actions. Something tells me that she only kept the baby to keep Josh. For an older woman to do such a thing, it would have been disturbing, but for a teenager to do it, it’s simply heartbreaking. She just doesn’t know any better.
I was bothered that there was no closure to the Josh situation. I would have liked to have seen a date with Kyla get interrupted by parental duties or something so that he could finally understand that he has major responsibilities in life. Sadly I just don’t think that’s the case now, or ever probably. It would have been equally awesome to hear Nikkole stand up for herself to him, but again, sadly that probably just won’t happen.
For me, the most heartbreaking scene was watching her mother cry for her in the restaurant bathroom, shooting off last ditch rules trying to limit Nikkole and Josh’s relationship. It’s like she just then came to the realization that she was powerless over a force that is so clearly bad for her (Josh), and there was nothing she could do to stop it.
The only really great thing I did see come out of this episode, is that for the first time in 16 & Pregnant history we were introduced to an incredibly supportive, and overall awesome mom. I was prepared not to like Rikki (based on her 80′s ‘do alone, I’m ashamed to admit) but she was unbelievably supportive of her pregnant 15 year old daughter the entire episode. She never lost it once. She admitted her initial embarrassment and self blame, but she really stepped up to the plate. Nikkole is lucky to have her. No doubt she’s going to need her.
Jennifer, I am also guilty of first judging the mom by her hair. But you are right, she was one of hte most supportive, level-headed mothers thus far. And it seems like she stepped up and raised her own kids alone, so I think she knew where she was coming from. My heard broke for Nikkole. But, based on other girls, i think she was the most involved with actually caring for the baby, and didn’t have to be told to wake up and feed him, make a bottle, etc.
You’re absolutely right… other than 16 & Pregnant and Teen Mom alum Maci, she was definitely the most hands on mom. Nikkole definitely seemed to accept her fate and responsibilities right off the bat. I think she’ll make a good mom, I just think she’ll need a lot of help and lucky for her she seems to have it in her mother.
I agree with confidential, and whether these shows are “good” or not, I don’t care. I don’t think it matters how much teen pregnancy might be “glamorized” no one is going to WANT to be a teen parent. However in regards to the ineffectual prolife vs. prochoice caucus race, if conservatives want more people to chose “life” they sure as HELL better get used to seeing pregnant unwed mothers, 16 or 35. If anything these shows to that.
Clearly you have never heard of “teenage pregnancy pacts”, next time maybe don’t make dumb claims about knowing what people want or do not want.
You are right. I have no idea what you are talking about. You are seriously telling me that you think a teenager is going to watch Juno and think “Oh, wow! Looks like fun! I’m going to go get pregnant right now!” Call me what you want, but calling me “dumb” hasn’t convinced me of sh–.
Actually, it’s true, some people do want to be teen moms. I had to do a project when I was getting my graphic design degree that involved making a teen pregnancy prevention poster for a local high school. Most of us pitched ideas that involved education about birth control methods, but the reps from the school stopped us and said we were taking the wrong track: that many local girls thought pregnancy would be fun, that they actually wanted babies, and that we needed to instead make designs that dealt with how having a baby would negatively impact the life of a teen rather than how to prevent the baby from happening.
Okay, I goggled it. ONE school in ONE town and it is in TIME magazine. BETTER GET THE CHASTITY BELTS!
It is certainly not one school! Haven’t you ever heard the phrase “Teen pregnancies are contagious?” The girls see the attention lavished on pregnant girls, they think that not only will they get a whole new “cute wardrobe” for themselves, but get to dress up a little doll as well. They see the attention, they see the Mom bring the baby to school for everyone to see and they miss the fights at home, absent Dads, financial struggles, etc. They also don’t actually believe that any hardship can happen to them. Half of my cheerleading squad got knocked up (I was class of 95) in an upper middle class area outside of DC. Luckily, being the groups “psychologist and secret keeper,” I was able to see the downsides and was sensible enough not to think it was a great idea. So many of these girls are just desperate for someone to love them unconditionally and don’t realize that they aren’t equipped to parent or that babies should not be born with jobs (to make Mom happy)!
Pregnancy is contagious in high school – the only upside to that ass Josh is that it certainly won’t be the case at her school. The other bonus? The little sociopath showed his true colors on film (and I think he thought that was putting his best foot forward) and now girls will know to avoid him like the plague (or the STDs he probably has)!
Honestly Anitamargarita, you are very naive. I worked with youth in an alternative high school and there are many, many girls who do want to become teen moms and actively try to get pregnant. They see it as a way to find someone who will love them unconditionally. It’s not watching Juno and thinking, Oh fun. It’s a much deeper issue than that and despite your google search, it is a big problem.
Why, why why in 2010…or I guess this was filmed in 2009 are teenagers still having unprotected sex? nikkole should have been happy that all she got was pregnant. Josh seems like the kind of guy who would be totally unapologetic about giving her VD. I watch this show and I worry. I really do. It bothers me. what kind of people are these children with teenage parent gonna turn out to be? Are they gonna go to college when thier parents are unlikely to finish a college education themselves? What upsets me alot as well is that the grandparents get stuck with the brunt of the responsibility…i,e the finacial cost of raising the kid. It boggles my mind, that with all the information out there…I mean…almost everyone has a computer or access to one yet alot of teen, inculding my 17 year old cousin seem to think that the rythm method and “pull and pray” is preferable to using a condom. What is wrong with these kids? Seriously…I want to know…what is wrong with them? somebody please tell me!
They are growing up in the world of “abstinence only” education. We do not believe in teaching teenagers the facts of reproduction or the mechanics of preventing pregnancy. Disgrace.
I beg to differ Sara. I was watching this debate on teen pregnancy and what they found is that most teenagers do know about contraception. They just choose not to use it. The truth is most teens know about condoms and birth control, that’s all they hear. I support abstinence programs because that’s the only way not to get pregnant. Is it realistic? Maybe not. But flooding them with the other information isn’t working either.
To ??? — (1)studies show that abstinence only programs simply do not work; and (2)just because a teenager knows about contraception doesn’t mean they can actually get it, particularly in small towns where everyone knows everyone and is in everyone’s business. But I will agree that simply handing out contraception won’t work either. I think the bigger problem is the culture teenagers are being raised in. Instead of fighting over whether or not teenagers should be taught sex-ed I think more attention needs to be paid to why teenagers are having sex. That’s the root of the problem. It’s not just hormones, there’s girls trying to find love in the wrong places, boys trying to prove their men, and probably all sorts of other reasons I don’t know about. Until we address the why the teenage pregnancy rate will keep rising.
They are actually told in Abstinence only “education” that condoms don’t work. The “smart” ones (and I use the term loosely) are just getting oral gonorrhea and HIV because they think they are still “technical virgins” by engaging in high risk activities like anal and oral sex. Abstinence only has caused a huge rise in teen pregnancy and while statistics are hard to get on abortion I would bet a years salary that abortion rates have sky-rocketed. Why would kids use condoms when they are TOLD IN SCHOOL that they don’t work? These ignorant fundamentalists have totally deluded an entire generation. I grew up in the 80′s and 90′s in the era of AIDs – I knew about condoms, we were taught to use them, and it didn’t make us think the school was saying we should have sex. The reason these kids aren’t using condoms and are acting irresponsibly is that their parents and the school system has infantilized them to the point that they childhood has been significantly prolonged. If you were honest with your children and realized that open and frank discussion works much better than any silly “purity pledge” or “purity ball,” we would not see this nearly as much. Keep preaching abstinence only and you will need to stock up on diapers and antibiotics for all of the STDs that will be invading your home!
My heart breaks for these girls, mostly because I was 16 and pregnant and now I’m 28. It seems so long ago, but when I watch them I see what I went through and what I looked like to people, a baby myself, and I just want to tell them, “keep your head up, it gets better and easier, eventually it will seem like an old dream as your life is still ahead of you!” I get goosebumps everytime I watch it.
at one point i couldnt watch any longer because that boy, no matter how much of a child you want to consider him, is straight up a douchebag.
AGREED
He’s a sociopath and will be in jail by the time he is 21! A few hospital stays after someone bigger than he is puts him in his place can also be expected. It takes a REALLY big man to pick on girls while they are in labor and mouth off to women. I sincerely hope he takes that tone with a few large Marines!