'30 Rock' 10 best lines: Happy Valentine's Day, no one!

A romance for Jack, a hallucination for Liz, and some ferocious screaming from Jenna? It’s like a Valentine just for me! “Anna Howard Shaw Day,” while lacking in the Kenneth, Grizz, Dot Com, and Pete departments, was still a total heart-warmer. Floyd! Dennis! Drew! Here were the 10 best lines:

“Tech stocks, Foxy Moneybags! Tech stocks!” — Liz, who gets all her financial advice from PBS

“You are truly the Picasso of loneliness.” — Jack, who knows all about the the Lifetime original movie My Stepson is My Cyberhusband

“Would a fake woman have a personal website at JDLutz.com backslash Karen backslash proof?” — Lutz, who’s letting Valentine’s Day win

“I have a new therapist, I’m taking my meds, I can’t even see electricity shooting out of your head anymore.” — Maynard, who is probably moving on to one of Jenna’s peers, like Julia Roberts

“No, the Peacecorp, Lawrence Peace’s corporation. We drilled for oil in gorilla habitats.” — Avery, whose thing for commanding salt-and-pepper types probably started when she walked in on her parents doing it the day Reagan was shot

“We’re going to pick up some pierogies¬†and eat them at her husband’s grave.” — Frank, who knows Liz’s ghost is going to see some disgusting stuff

“Please do not say what Doug is // Doug is my vibrator.” — Kenneth and Jenna, who could both benefit from that terrifying “gender-neutralizing” hood

“Maybe someday we’ll live in a world where you’ll ask us to pretend to be scientists!” — Dot Com, who did not get nearly enough to do in this episode

This one’s not a line but: Jenna’s fridge of babydoll heads is one of the most brilliantly strange and creepy things I have ever seen. I’m counting it.

“Watching The Color Purple drunk with you was one of the funnest nights of my life.” — Liz, who saw Avery on Maxim’s “I’d Rape That 100″ list

This was one of the loopiest, silliest episodes in a while, but it worked. The closing scene with Jon Hamm, Jason Sudekis, and Dean Winters with Jamaican accents, wearing scrubs? Too amazing. “Anna Howard Shaw Day” provided Tina Fey with her most interesting acting showcase all season, and Liz and Jack have become the best BFF duo on TV.

What’d you think, PopWatchers? Bon Jovi, Horatio Sanz, Elizabeth Banks, and all of Liz’s boyfriends in one episode — too much? Or just enough?

Image credit: Ali Goldstein/NBC

Comments (79 total) Add your comment
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  • thebigE

    One of the best episodes of 30 Rock in a long time! I’ll be quoted this one in the future. Kenneth’s “I want to eat your boogers” poster and hair snipping of Jenna was hysterical, and Liz’s ex-boyfriends were a great touch.

    • thebigE

      Quoting. Too early to type.

    • T

      THAT was hysterical!!

  • Damiano

    I thought Maynard was played by Horatio Sanz, but he’s not given a credit in IMDB. He has lost A LOT of weight!

    • shannon

      for a while I sat there going – boy he looks familiar – but couldnt place him. wow. he looks fantastic.

    • Lynny

      Yeah, that was him. He played manny on that not so great show with Megan Mullaly and Cheryl Hines and he has really pulled it together. Always liked him.

  • Elizabeth

    I wonder if the lack of Grizz and Dot.Com has to do with fact that Grizz needs a kidney transplant:


    Just a theory – but best wishes for Grizz!

  • Rebecca

    From the moment Liz realized she needed someone to pick her up after her root canal, it was obvious Jack would be the one to do it. And I mean obvious in a good way. Yes, you’re right, they are one of the best BFF pairs on TV.

  • kim in kentucky

    LOVED the doll heads!!! (and Don Cheadle on rice)

  • tom

    Eh. I didn’t think this ep was all that.

    • EL

      What year are you from?

  • Sarah

    “Aww…Bon Jovi!” to two different trees

    i LOVE jack with avery. was i the only one shouting at her TV, “No, HE wants a family, too!” ?

    “I’m Tyke Myson!”

  • couchgrouch

    fantastic. am adrenaline blast of insanity.

  • eliott256

    Loved it. The Jenna stalker memory sequence had me in mild hysterics

  • Eric

    I had a little OMG moment when Liz said “Maxim’s ‘I’d rape that’ 100″. I’m surprised that line was allowed to air, but it’s nice to see NBC’s censors aren’t afraid of a little shock humor.

    • LOL

      I was surprised at that as well. Nice to see it didn’t get cut. Even the reference to Reagan getting shot was a bit surprising, in a good way.

  • JLC

    Both bits with the nurses=Liz’s ex-boyfriends were outstanding. I also liked Jon Bon Jovi’s advice to read something before you sign it (or else you end up as Jack Donaghy’s flunky).

  • pop

    that last part with the three guys doing the accents – hilarious! i’d order don cheadle on a plate of rice (or whatever it was)

    • Fan

      That ending with Hamm Floyd and Dennis was INSANE! I died! Best moment of TV this season!!!

  • Trebornedies

    Fridge full of baby doll heads–pure visual genius. Could not stop laughing.

    • LOL

      Even though the stalker angle was the weakest of the show, the fridge full of doll heads was comic gold.

  • Jfromva

    Loved Tracy’s line: “If Beyonce would just answer my fan mail I wouldn’t have to break into her house”. Peace out LiLem!

  • Hannah

    If only Jon Hamm were in the episode a little longer…!

    • nt

      there’s never enough jon hamm in anything, but i love that he came back for this.

      my favourite line of this great episode:
      jenna “i knew this would end, but i always thought it would be with me in the trunk of a rental car.”

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