Idoloonies, you’re goin’ to Hollywood! But not until next Tuesday, when American Idol‘s ninth season incarnation of Hell Week — with new permanent judge Ellen DeGeneres – gets underway in earnest. Before we get to all the tears and rage and beauty of group performances and a capella chicanery*, however, why not join my cohost Annie Barrett and me to review the fourth and final week of auditions? We delve into the show’s new and bizarre position that children are nothing more than adorable dream-crushers, examine the last-minute burst of manflesh that defined the Denver auditions, and look at the handful of legitimate contenders who emerged during the Denver and “Road to Hollywood” telecasts. Plus, you’ll get to experience “The Wisdom of Avril Lavigne, Vol. 379.” If that’s not worth pressing play below, then you might as well give up on the Internet forever. In other words, watch! Then post your own thoughts in the comments below! And finally, follow me on Twitter @EWMichaelSlezak!
* Uh-huh, I said "chicanery"!
NO MORE KIDS EVER ON IDOL.
Archie is the only baby child ever allowed on Idol ever again
Agreed. These heavy-handed, over-the-top, tough-luck storylines are giving me a headache.
Where’s Gayle?
Archie isn’t a baby child though, he’s a puppy.
I think the thing that’s kinda gotten me about Idol this year is that the producers, down to the GUEST JUDGES they’ve brought on, seem to think Idol needs to be racy or sexy. I don’t want to see your hairless chest, or hear Posh talk about someone’s ~look or good skin. I just want to hear these people sing. Maybe Adam’s performances last year gave the producers some sort of idea that “sexy” is what needs to be brought to Idol, and not that what they’re doing is his fault in the slightest, but that’s not it at all. I want my raw, unadulterated, SINGING, Idol. Give me that, not some contrived vision of what you think sexy is.
I think Didi sounds just like Megan Joy…and I wasn’t a big fan of Megan.
Oh My, yes!!! She does really look and sound like Megan Joy!
was that the barefoot piano girl?
That was Brooke White.
Idolatry was awesome this week, that is all. Huge bonus points for just brushing past “Bikini Guy”.
Right. And even better job completely ignoring the creepy swimming guy.
Best Idolatry yet this season!
I don’t think the contestants come meaning tho tell all their personal stuff- but I think the producers ask them “what is the most interesting thing about you” or “what is the most important thing that ever happened to you”, and so they tell whatever they have…
So as annoying as these back stories are, I don’t think we can blame the contestants for it!
Ho- and I totally agree with the WTF feeling of putting Nikki Nix through! No melody, no voice, not even that good looking… what’s up?
Maybe they felt sorry for her spending all the money to fly here from Italy to audition. And, by the way, what kind of average kid has the kind of money to do something like that? I suspect a conection somewhere…?
What? Maybe she has rich parents, what connection? Paranoid much?
She was gimmicky, no tune, no melody, no nothing. So good skin can get you through to hollywood? Hell……..I should have tried out then.
A friend of mine is convinced her daddy bought her way to Hollywood.
Not paranoid, (look up the proper definition, BlackIrish), I’m just saying it seems unlikely a girl can convince her father to pay her way to America – including accomadations based on her little trilling “..standing on my tutu” ditty. I mean, really? She is somebody’s little princess or some influential father’s daughter. Or maybe both.
I LOVE IDOLATRY. I think I love it more than Idol.
Me too! I wish there were more segments. Love when I see new episodes posted.
I don’t even watch Idol anymore (not with Lost on Tuesday nights!), but Idolatry is still incredibly entertaining. Keep it up!
Ditto.
Boo on you for thinking that hosting a Karoke is anything more than a struggling hand to mouth life.
I agree – that would be like telling Slezak that instead of writing for a national magazine he was going to be the entertainment writer for a high school in Montana. Yes, he’s getting to write and do what he loves and get paid for it, but is that going to be enough for him? Probably not. I also think they (all of the EW peeps on Idolatry) don’t get the whole kid thing. Unless you’ve been a single parent struggling to make it from week to week you just don’t understand. Sure, she gets to host Karoke night – big deal. I am sure the pay sucks when compared to all the effort that goes into it – not to mention that most people only do Karoke at night so that means she isn’t able to be home with her kid at night and is probably tired all day long trying to spend whatever time she can with him. (And the same thing goes singing in a cover band). I got what Avril was saying to that guy – he has a wife and 3 young children at home not to mention an entire church that follows him every week – all she was trying to say (at least in my mind) was that it’s super difficult out there and it will take a toll. Plus, he wasn’t that talented.
I *really* hope that Hollywood week introduces us to some talent that, because they lack sob stories (or, I guess, children), we haven’t yet seen… because hot-damn it’s hard to get excited about this season’s crop of hopefuls.
I agree – based on the auditions they did show it’s beginning to feel a lot like “Country Idol”. Most of them were super twangy and even if they didn’t sing country music their hard-luck lives sounded exactly like a country song – or a Lifetime movie of the week. Blech.
I think that the sob stories and extra background info on the contestants has to do with the fact that they are trying to make Idol a more “kinder” show. Is that not what Ellen said in an interview? Especially since Simon will be gone.
Hey there is nothing wrong with singing Girls Aloud at your audition!
“Life is over because I have a child” = today’s self-absorbed, attention-starved parents. Yep, there’s a little more to being a parent than saddling a little person with a clever name, dressing them up, and shuffling them off to play dates. (Can you tell I’m married to a teacher?)
Yes, please Sweet Lord can we end the Lifetime Movie theme during Hollywood Week? I don’t need the backstory.
I appreciated that Lacey “held back” – wished more people would do that in auditions and the whole contest for that matter.
Thank you. Agree totally about today’s parents. What about me?? Wah, wah…
I LOOOOOVE Annie Barrett! I want to be her best friend.
Where is Annie’s “Popwatch Video?” Was that just for the fall? Forgot what it was called but miss it – so glad to see live action Annie on Idolatry again.
They are all mean and evil and I know how to sing ha!
PS:I will win the Canadian Idol instead la la la