Last night’s teasers for the new New York season were cruel ones. It’s time to ditch the west coast’s sherbet-colored ruching and spackled lips and head east. When Slade starts giving parenting advice (“hopefully you get it,” he sneered condescendingly to a fuzzy-eyed Lynne) you know the season has run aground.
Lynne’s face came this close to changing expression when she announced her irritation at Gretchen’s meddling in her daughter’s affairs. Gretchen was hellbent on the fact that the young, spoiled girl was heading down a road toward drugs and depression. Gretchen, who refused to give up her Alexa chew toy, revealed that when she was a teenager she herself had bulimia because her parents never listened to her. So she can spot the signs of troubled youth! Lynne insisted that her daughter was fine, and that they talk all the time, and please, they’re like the best of friends, and they even wear the same jean size, and they work out together, so how could there possibly be a problem? Alexa is an actress! It’s her period! Hormones, you know! Lynne is a dippy shell of a grown woman — “did anyone else walk through the screen door?” — but even she can go on the offensive. In her low battery monotone she wondered if Gretchen (she of tequila infamy) and Slade (Slade!) ought to consider themselves parenting experts. Meow! That ding dong has some ring in her.
Liz! Jack! Kenneth! Tracy! James Franco! Oh man, 30 Rockers, when it’s good it’s good, and we got two, two, two episodes for the price of one tonight. Let’s do the top 10 lines of each and then some general thoughts, shall we?
