Last night was a back-to-back double dose of the Shore, and, continuing one of the show’s many proud traditions, both episodes ended with somebody’s hand connecting to somebody else’s face. For a show about vacation and leisure at the beach, there has been a lot more punching in and around the head area than I would have first expected. These people can’t tie their shoes or spray their tans without running nose-first into someone’s outstretched fist.
And while some were getting punched, others were getting punchy. The Situation and Pauly D, giggling fitfully like a pair of preteen girls high on glitter and orange soda at a slumber party, placed a bowl of their signature “haterade” (made with cheese, milk, mayonnaise, pickle juice, and a dash of love) under Vinny’s bed in the hope that it would sour and smell up the room, although Mike’s belief that this concoction was “best served cold” makes me doubt his previously unimpeachable understanding of bacterial microbiology.
Since I don’t know where else to mention it, I would like to take this space to point out that the dial-a-duck might be one of the greatest elements of any reality show, ever. Its low insistent quack that instills dread in those trying to avoid calls, its glowing red eye that makes it look like some sort of demonic hell-mallard, and finally its continuing, and winning, battle against the housemates, who still haven’t figured out how to hang it up, all make it one of the most engaging, and intelligible, characters on the show. To heck with Snooki, I want to see the phone get its own spin-off. Lord love a duck!
But despite its greatness, the phone isn’t nearly as quotable as our fair septet. So here’s some absurdity courtesy of the Jersey-ites:
EPISODE 107: “What Happens in The AC”
“I’ve been with goats, sheep, cows, horses. That’s all.” – Snooki, momentarily forgetting her recent experiences with hippopotami
“Don’t worry, you got a couple.” – The Situation, after the weight-sensitive Snooki asks for a roll READ FULL STORY »