On last night’s The Late Show with David Letterman, the “chicken-hearted and gutless” (though he won’t speak for Conan O’Brien) host ripped on NBC executive Dick Ebersol, suggesting he focus on picking out sweaters for Olympics anchor Bob Costas instead of miring himself in NBC’s late-night disaster. Letterman’s not going to stop mocking Leno, either. “I’m telling jokes and making fun of Jay Leno relentlessly, mercilessly, simply for one reason: I’m really enjoying it.” [CROWD APPLAUDS WILDLY.] “It’s just fun!”
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First things first: My apologies for missing my Big Bang Theory recap last week, fellow Big Bang Theorists. You can blame the amoebae that have taken up residence in my tummy and fell me but good last Monday night. (I’ll spare y’all any further description other than to relay that, stemming from my best guess for the complicated scientific names for the little buggers based on what my doctor told me, my boyfriend has decided to call the amoebae Butch and Nana. Sheldon would so not approve.) I was especially bummed that I didn’t get to commiserate with you about last week’s Big Bang, too, since a night out as Raj’s wingman brought out a delightfully unexpected flirtatious side of Sheldon Cooper — even if Sheldon himself was completely unaware that he was, in fact, flirting with a co-ed with a rather improbable fetish for super-hero merch. (As opposed to Sheldon’s completely probable fetish for super-hero merch.)
Somewhere in this crazy world – perhaps below the ocean floor or at the top of a very tall building – there is a room made entirely of chalkboard. The ceiling is chalkboard, the floor is chalkboard, the eight walls (yup, it’s an octagon) are all chalkboard. And the chalkboard is almost completely covered in chalk. Lines skip madly across the room, zig-zagging back and forth. The lines map a series of events, but the events don’t appear to follow any coherent order. Different colors of chalk describe various reality-altering shifts: time travel, amnesia, resurrection, imaginary resurrection, premonition, post-monition, power exchanges, power drains, whatever the hell it is that keeps Ali Larter on Heroes. Because this is the Heroes writing room, and it is a mess. 
And… we’re back! But oh, do those 24 producers try our patience. As so many of you pointed out on our message boards yesterday, it’s pretty whacked to see a dude like Hastings initially dismiss the recommendations of old CTU heroes like Jack and Chloe, especially considering how quickly he trusts – and then dispatches! – a cuckoo bird like Renee Walker to do undercover work, stat. 
In honor of the premiere of the final season of Lost, Prof. Doc Jensen looks at competing theories of time-travel in popular sci-fi franchises. Warning: this course may cause a migraine. Students are advised to take an aspirin before reading. (Getting stoned may also help, though this cannot be condoned by the faculty.) For more crash courses in pop culture, enroll in 
“Listen: Billy Pilgrim has come unstuck in time.”
