Week three of American Idol‘s ninth season fell into a thoroughly predictable groove: Contestants whose auditions were gussied up with 10 lbs. of backstory sailed through to Hollywood; the guest judges who everyone expected to be whip-smart and amusing (hi, Neil Patrick Harris!) lived up to their billing; and Simon Cowell got hot and bothered whenever a sexy chica appeared on the scene. To counterbalance this unwavering absence of capriciousness on the nation’s favorite talent program, we here at Idolatry decided it was time to get krazy with a k. Press play below and watch a former Idol champ (and upcoming Idolatry interview subject) provide a jaunty intro while rocking a jewel tone with surprising panache, hear a second Idol finalist close the show by weighing in on EW.com personnel issues, listen to my cohost Kristen Baldwin drop an f-bomb (bleeped for your delicate ears) within the episode’s first 30 seconds, and gasp as yours truly waves an imaginary gun in the air and utters the phrase “bust a cap.” I know, I know, I’m going to live to regret it all after I get a strongly worded email from my mom, but Damien Idoloonies, it’s all for you! When you’re done watching, share your thoughts on the week in Idol in the comments section below, check out my recaps of the Los Angeles and Dallas telecasts, and follow me on Twitter @EWMichaelSlezak!
Can we replace Randy AND Kara with Kristen Baldwin? Or hire her to audit the U.S. Bailout TARP funds? Seriously, she’s a hilarious b*tch who doesn’t hesitate to call it when she sees bull.
…why are so many people so keen Kristin Baldwin? There are many people who can “tell it like it is” or simply tell the truth without being a hateful like she is. She’s not insightful or thoughtful in her “critiques” in the least. She just unloads a litany of horrible personal insults against anyone she doesn’t like. Tatiana del Toro needs to whiten her teeth? Danny Gokey is using his wife’s death to get votes and is going to hell for it?
Who the hell does this woman think she is to say things like that about people she’ll never meet whose talent she’ll never match?
ICU Gokey fan, ICU!
i hate kristen baldwin! much prefer michael slezak!
I’d LOVE for Kristen to be on the show!!!
IS this the same “Ben” who was spewing hate on the PopWatch boards earlier this week? If so GO AWAY! There are plenty of entertainment sites out there. Find one you like. I like Kristin and think she’s hilarious. More Kristin!
LOVE Kristen! I hope she can Idolatry from home. Folks, this is reality tv and she is real.
Yes!!! More Kristin!
Loved the “I question the foster boy’s story?” comment. Kristen is the best! Always my favorite Idolotry moments when it is KB and MS.
would love to enjoy those idolotry moments, but I think there is a problem with the embeds on EW.com; they just stall out regularly. i check my connection with speedtest.net and it comes in fine and i have no problem with any other sites.
just thought i’d post this in case anyone else is having the same problem. thanks.
Yeah, I’m having the same problem. It buffers for days.
Wow what a surprise Michael Sleezesack loves Neil Patrick Harris!
yes to Kristen Baldwin! she’s awesome!
Oh Yeah! I second that!
Kristen with glasses is HOTTT !!!! (And you know I really mean it because of the 2 extra “T’s” I added to HOTTT !!!!!)
Kristen Baldwin….eh, not so much.
Joe Jonas is a judge I’d be happy to get behind… literally.
…oh wow.
Cook + Castro + Save the Rocker points? You guys didn’t even have to say anything and I was already on board
What a perfect pair of bookends (DC & JC) to start the day.
And quit hatin on Kristen… what is she doing that is so different from all the people who post their comments?
…um, I’m not sure why you would even ask this of me considering I’m not defending “all the people who post their comments” if these people post hateful things?
…and by your standards, shouldn’t we leave people alone who criticize Kristin? How is what they do different from what Kristin does?(Not asking to be left alone, just pointing out that this logic is inconsistent.)
Oooh and Cook will be an upcoming interview subject! Can’t wait!
love the bonus jason castro at the end!
Oooooooof … Love me that David Cook and Jason Castro something fierce! Now I’m feeling nostalgia for season five (or whatever season that was). Sniff.
season seven… I know, it’s hard to believe that was only two years ago
Was Jason Castro high when he shot that outro?
Magic 8 Ball says: Yes.
That’s an old, stale joke that wasn’t funny then and still isn’t. Jason is on tour now, signed by Atlantic Records, newly married, and as down to earth and sweet as always. Please join those who are in the know and give it a rest.
Married? *Sigh* Guess I’ll go burn my “Cougars for Castro” sign.
so he can’t be all of those things.. and also high?
JC and DC – bookends perfection. Thank you! Plus Rocker.
Cook + Castro = who cares about the fluff in the middle?! Just kidding, Mike and Kristen snarking on what’s looking to be a yawner of a season is always gold. I agree with the Make a Wish sponsorship vibe that the show is giving off these days. You’d think they would have learned something about how America reacts to having a sob story shoved down their throats after the Gokey experiment went down in flames last year. Justin Guarini trudging along next to the train tracks was pretty hilarious though.
The absolute worst for me is that they keep showing us these kids whose parents are divorced as a heart-wrenching backstory. Half the population comes from a broken home……quit trying to make it more dramatic than it is. I like to think about the interview process for these contestants – Idol producer: “Can you think of anything particularly terrible that’s happened to you in your 16 years of life? Rape? Murder? Cancer? Physical deformity?” Contestant: “My parents are divorced. I didn’t like that….” Idol producer: “It really would be better if you had a disease or a deformity, but we can make this work….”
I actually liked Shania Twain, and I loved Katy Perry, especially when she told Kara that she wanted to throw her coke on her…I thought she was down to earth. I also loved NPH, I thought he would be a good replacement for Simon next season. Hell – they could loose Randy and Kara and start with Shania Twain and NPH, and build from there (I need to see what Ellen is going to bring to the table – in the words of Tupac – “All Eyez On Me” should be Ellen’s intro during Hollywood week)
SIMON acts likes he’s in the death throes of his AI phase- he don’t give a damn!!! NPH waz great in challenging him. Simon acts sooo bored!
I agree. Add NPH and Katie Perry and Shania Twain. Anything would be Randy and Kara.
Discovered Idolatry last year and it’s the only reason I’m watching AI this year. Love you Michael and Kristen for making me laugh so hard every week.
I personally thought Neil Patrick Harris was great as a guest host! he was funny, charming, & insightful….I also loved how him & Simon didnt always see eye to eye….made it fun to watch. I think Kara shoulda punched Katy Perry tho…..seriously, did she just go on there to be a b**ch to everyone. Most of the contestants had more talent than her!! Its not so hard to sell records when you’re first single is about kissing a girl, doesnt mean you have talent….just means you know sex sells. Anyway, cant wait til Hollywood when you really get to see what these people are made of and who’s talent will shine thru.
yeah.. you’re the type of woman that gives the rest of us a bad rap. Jealousy much? Katy is smokin’ hot, you sound like the bitter & jaded old maids I work with, automatically calling someone they dislike a **tch. Katy wanted to stay on the subject of singing, not focusing on some backstory… that’s being a **tch? I think you’re projecting your issues with pretty women. I think Katy’s pretty… she’s certainly prettier than I am but at least I’m not insecure about my looks enough to call her names. grow up already.
Katy Perry is Ashlee Simpson 2.0. She CAN’T sing thats normally the most important part of being a singer. She should just do Playboy instead since her breasts and her looks are all she rides on
It’s asinine to assume that the only reason one might find fault with Katy Perry is ‘jealousy’. Not everyone finds her ‘smokin’ hot’, nor talented. I agree with her assertion re: the corny ‘Lifetime backstory’, but she was rude and bitchy in expressing it and it also comes off a bit hypocritical considering the way she worked her own ‘Xtian girl gone naughty’ angle to find fame.
It’s you, Elisa, who give women a bad name by reducing everything to ‘jealousy’, looks, and ‘bitter old maids’ (for real? OLD MAIDS?) Your mummy must have tried to placate you from the fact no one wanted to be your friend by telling you they were all jealous. As for ‘ old maids’, having a husband or not hardly defines a woman’s worth. (And I certainly prefer my own looks and accomplishments to Katy Perry’s as does my husband).
Wait, why is it when NPH took control of the show and started to pick fights with Simon he was “great” but when Katy did the same thing with Kara, she was a “bitch”?
Is it just that old standard that a man is only allowed to be assertive while all women must be submissive and polite?
No. NPH argued with Simon over the quality of the auditions. He didn’t snarkily ask ‘Is Simon talking to a puppy?’ Katy picked on Kara because she thought it made her look cool. It was obvious, pathetic, and uncomfortable to watch.
Katy Perry can’t sing the fact that shes even on these shows makes a mockery of idols
Every week I look forward to Idolatry, even more than the actual AI shows. This episode was hysterical. I’m with Jason, only 2 weeks for Kristen’s maternity leave. Slezak is great, but the two of you are terrific together. And please, do your best to replace Kara with Katy. I know you can do it.
I agree! Kristen and Michael together are always the funniest. I’m NOT a fan of Jessica Shaw. Something about her voice ALWAYS
sorry….Something about her voice ALWAYS comes across as rehearsed and insincere. I would be ok with her NEVER guest hosting again.
Ah…to be a part of Idolatry…I think that we could have some good conversations about American Idol…though it would mostly be me saying, “I think the same exact thing!” after everything you say. I love it. Snarky comments and all (go Kristen!!!).
Yum, love me some David Cook – I watched him twice…now I have 30 save the rocker points.
I was not happy with what the producers did with Joe Jonas’ time on the panel. I’m sure he had more to say than “yep” all day long. Give the guy a break…he’s hardly mute. Agree with you both though…the “make a wish” sob stories have GOT to go…I’d rather see less stories and more auditions from those who made it through. Looking forward to Hollywood Week – let’s see if Ellen is a fan of Kara’s “girl power” movement. I’m thinking NO.
go easy on a b*tch this year, that made my day
Agree. Here’s hoping that Kara learns from this and makes better critiques when the show goes real-time.
Personally, for me, last year was the best year and should have been the final season. With Adam L. being the best entertainer they’ve found so far, there’s no reason to keep going. Your not going to find anyone better than him. And no, I did not buy his album or want to see him. I just feel they found the ultimate singer, now they should just end the show.
Yeah I’m sure you didn’t buy his album. There are probably 15 in your house right now. The reason the show needs to keep going is so that we never have to hear about Glambert again.
There is no such thing as the ultimate singer. Or the ultimate anything in arts rather…there will always be another great performer right behind the former. Adam Lambert isn’t the end of all music. Lol…