“This TwitPic reminder to Skarsgard Your Loins wasn’t taken with Ausiello’s iPhone. It was beamed into the Internet directly from one of your better dreams. Please write up.” That’s the assignment IM I just received from today’s acting PopWatch editor, Annie Barrett. If I must, I must…
So this shot is clearly from the Lifetime movie True Blood‘s Alexander Skarsgard will never have to star in. We open on the heroine, a thirtysomething single journalist from New York City forced to cover her first red carpet at the Golden Globes, throwing a comical fit over how wimpy Hollywood types are in the rain. She’s walking backwards, trips on some wires, falls, and hits her head on the ground. As she comes to, she sees a white light. [Insert "funny" voiceover where she asks herself if she's dead. Her sense of humor is intact, so you think she's fine.] The camera pans back, and there’s a handsome actor wearing a Tom Ford tux looking down at her. He holds out his hand and helps her up. He asks if she’s okay. She thinks so. Another figure, this one wearing a headset, swoops in and asks her if she’s even supposed to be in this area. She doesn’t know. Well, who is she? Who is she with? She doesn’t know. AMNESIA!
Now you’re probably thinking our heroine had to have some kind of credential or ID on her. First, stop thinking. This is a Lifetime movie. Secondly, when she fell, her purse, cellphone, wallet, and anything else she had in her hands flew. Since no one was paying attention to a lowly reporter on the crowded carpet, her belongings were just trashed to get them out of the stars’ way. The rest of the movie is about how the actor — who’s between seasons on his show, so he’s got time on his hands — helps her find out who she is. Get it: Her job is to profile others, but the one person she has to explore now is herself! SPOILER ALERT! [Ed. note: The insertion of "spoiler alert" after the spoiler has been delivered is a really awesome twist! --A.B.]
In the end, you come to learn that her editor, the only person who could have identified this normally faceless writer, was on the red carpet that night. He saw the actor coming to her aid, knew it would make a great story for their magazine, and decided not to step in. (This bit could be inspired by the fact that the man in glasses over Skarsgard’s left shoulder reminds me of Slezak.) The actor, it turns out, is notoriously press-shy, so the editor knew the story would fly off newsstands. With her memory back, the writer has to decide whether to pen the piece… DRAMA!
I’d give this pitch a C for Cliché, but I would totally watch this movie. Got a title for my film, or a scene you’d like to suggest? Hit me in the comments section. If this photo put another thought in your head, share it. Just keep it clean.
Photo credit: Michael Ausiello