Good news! The crazy-good creative surge on ABC’s Ugly Betty hasn’t stopped. Last night’s episode—the final new hour of 2009, before the show moves to its new Wednesday night timeslot on Jan. 6—packed quite the emotional punch, between (SPOILER ALERT!) the double-threat of pregnancies for the Suarez sisters, Hilda and Archie’s break-up, and Claire’s trip to South Dakota to find her long-lost son. And, damn, damn, damn Adam Rodriguez! Your smokin’ self would keep me coming back no matter what else was going on with the show. Good riddance to Archie! (Even though I do love you Ralph Macchio!)
Seriously, Betty couldn’t be moving to a better timeslot at a more opportune time, with all it’s got going on. Let’s just hope that those Modern Family and Cougar Town viewers stick around to see what’s up with the Suarez clan and everyone else at Mode, come January. But now, let’s celebrate the show’s beautiful writing—specifically, its always-delightful one-liners, collected here for your pleasure:
“Potato latkes swimming in oil. Apparently grandpa wants me to be a house by New Year’s.” —Justin, as Ignacio makes a greasy batch of potato latkes for his pan-religious celebration that evening
“Officials are searching for the money. Let’s hope enough of it turns up to buy Willy a belt. After all, Ms. Slater, a waist is a terrible thing to waste.” —Suzuki St. Pierre, on Willy’s decision to wear a blue jumpsuit
“What was she thinking?! I’ve seen actual blueberries look less round.” —Claire, after seeing Willy in a blue jumpsuit
“She was the Symbionese Liberation Army to my Patty Hearst. She even bought me a beret.” —Marc, dealing with Stockholm Syndrome after Willy left Mode
“These past three weeks have been heaven—aside from my tailoring bill. You’ve got to stop literally ripping my clothes off!” —Willy, during one of her conjugal visits with Connor in prison
“I can’t afford to get caught sneaking out in again in one of your ridiculous jumpsuits. It’s a miracle I could pass it off as a trend. You know, some idiots will wear anything!” —Willy, on why she was wearing the jumpsuits which she got so maligned for right before we see the easily influenced Amanda wearing a similar jumpsuit
“Mrs. Meade! You’ll be landing at the Sioux Falls Regional Airport at 2:35. I tried to book it earlier but those dopes at the international terminal kept telling me I was calling the wrong place!” —Amanda, on booking Claire Meade a trip to South Dakota
“You’re going to South Dakota! You have to blend in. Less money and more food stamp.” —Amanda, to Claire Meade, who’s heading to South Dakota to find her long-lost son
“You know, Marc, it’s OK—you can totally disagree with Daniel and he doesn’t hit you or psychically shame you in any way.” —Betty, after noticing Marc pandering to Daniel’s tastes
“I don’t think so. This is the one test I never fail.” —Hilda, after picking up a Be-Shure pregnancy test
“So, how do you want to take down Miss Cecil B. Female? Dig dirt? Blackmail? Twitter backlash? How do you want to play this?” —Marc, discussing with Daniel about how to take down Mode’s new creative director
“It’s like I’m in a new land where the customs are so strange!” —Marc, after Daniel says that they don’t need to do crazy schemes to get rid of the new creative director
“This is the chair Willy got me when I told her the one I had was comfortable. This mark here? I was injecting her with botox and missed and hit a vein in her forehead. She ripped the needle out of my hand, threatened to plunge it into my eye, and said if it weren’t for my clogged pores, my tiny brain would have seeped out long ago.” —Marc, talking about the hard, wooden chair he used to sit in when he was Willy’s assistant
Over to you, Betty fans: What was your favorite sound bite from last night? What lines did I miss that you loved? Are you going to follow the show to Wednesday nights in January—or does it mess up other shows you’ve already got your DVR set for on that evening? Are you loving Betty like I am now? (And: Can you tell your friends to tune in?)
More ‘Ugly Betty’ Bites from EW.com:
‘Ugly Betty’ Bites: The 18 funniest lines from last night!
‘Ugly Betty’ Bites: 10 genius lines from Friday night’s great episode!
‘Ugly Betty’ Bites: Enjoy the best 19 quips from the best episode of the season (so far)!
‘Ugly Betty’ Bites: 18 Betty-ful clips from last night!
‘Ugly Betty’ Bites: 19 hilarious lines from last night’s episode!
‘Ugly Betty’ Bites: 15 great lines from last night!
‘Ugly Betty’ Bites: The best lines from Betty’s makeover premiere episode!