Good news! The crazy-good creative surge on ABC’s Ugly Betty hasn’t stopped. Last night’s episode—the final new hour of 2009, before the show moves to its new Wednesday night timeslot on Jan. 6—packed quite the emotional punch, between (SPOILER ALERT!) the double-threat of pregnancies for the Suarez sisters, Hilda and Archie’s break-up, and Claire’s trip to South Dakota to find her long-lost son. And, damn, damn, damn Adam Rodriguez! Your smokin’ self would keep me coming back no matter what else was going on with the show. Good riddance to Archie! (Even though I do love you Ralph Macchio!)
Seriously, Betty couldn’t be moving to a better timeslot at a more opportune time, with all it’s got going on. Let’s just hope that those Modern Family and Cougar Town viewers stick around to see what’s up with the Suarez clan and everyone else at Mode, come January. But now, let’s celebrate the show’s beautiful writing—specifically, its always-delightful one-liners, collected here for your pleasure:
“Potato latkes swimming in oil. Apparently grandpa wants me to be a house by New Year’s.” —Justin, as Ignacio makes a greasy batch of potato latkes for his pan-religious celebration that evening
“Officials are searching for the money. Let’s hope enough of it turns up to buy Willy a belt. After all, Ms. Slater, a waist is a terrible thing to waste.” —Suzuki St. Pierre, on Willy’s decision to wear a blue jumpsuit
“What was she thinking?! I’ve seen actual blueberries look less round.” —Claire, after seeing Willy in a blue jumpsuit
“She was the Symbionese Liberation Army to my Patty Hearst. She even bought me a beret.” —Marc, dealing with Stockholm Syndrome after Willy left Mode
“These past three weeks have been heaven—aside from my tailoring bill. You’ve got to stop literally ripping my clothes off!” —Willy, during one of her conjugal visits with Connor in prison
“I can’t afford to get caught sneaking out in again in one of your ridiculous jumpsuits. It’s a miracle I could pass it off as a trend. You know, some idiots will wear anything!” —Willy, on why she was wearing the jumpsuits which she got so maligned for right before we see the easily influenced Amanda wearing a similar jumpsuit
“Mrs. Meade! You’ll be landing at the Sioux Falls Regional Airport at 2:35. I tried to book it earlier but those dopes at the international terminal kept telling me I was calling the wrong place!” —Amanda, on booking Claire Meade a trip to South Dakota
“You’re going to South Dakota! You have to blend in. Less money and more food stamp.” —Amanda, to Claire Meade, who’s heading to South Dakota to find her long-lost son
“You know, Marc, it’s OK—you can totally disagree with Daniel and he doesn’t hit you or psychically shame you in any way.” —Betty, after noticing Marc pandering to Daniel’s tastes
“I don’t think so. This is the one test I never fail.” —Hilda, after picking up a Be-Shure pregnancy test
“So, how do you want to take down Miss Cecil B. Female? Dig dirt? Blackmail? Twitter backlash? How do you want to play this?” —Marc, discussing with Daniel about how to take down Mode’s new creative director
“It’s like I’m in a new land where the customs are so strange!” —Marc, after Daniel says that they don’t need to do crazy schemes to get rid of the new creative director
“This is the chair Willy got me when I told her the one I had was comfortable. This mark here? I was injecting her with botox and missed and hit a vein in her forehead. She ripped the needle out of my hand, threatened to plunge it into my eye, and said if it weren’t for my clogged pores, my tiny brain would have seeped out long ago.” —Marc, talking about the hard, wooden chair he used to sit in when he was Willy’s assistant
Over to you, Betty fans: What was your favorite sound bite from last night? What lines did I miss that you loved? Are you going to follow the show to Wednesday nights in January—or does it mess up other shows you’ve already got your DVR set for on that evening? Are you loving Betty like I am now? (And: Can you tell your friends to tune in?)
More ‘Ugly Betty’ Bites from EW.com:
‘Ugly Betty’ Bites: The 18 funniest lines from last night!
‘Ugly Betty’ Bites: 10 genius lines from Friday night’s great episode!
‘Ugly Betty’ Bites: Enjoy the best 19 quips from the best episode of the season (so far)!
‘Ugly Betty’ Bites: 18 Betty-ful clips from last night!
‘Ugly Betty’ Bites: 19 hilarious lines from last night’s episode!
‘Ugly Betty’ Bites: 15 great lines from last night!
‘Ugly Betty’ Bites: The best lines from Betty’s makeover premiere episode!
I watched the episode 2 times and I have to say, the first time I didnt enjoy it and thought it was lack luster but the second time, I thought it was pretty damn good – not the best but good enough.
OH COURSE I’ll follow it on Wednesday! Nothing else is airing at that timeslot that I care about anyway. And to all those Glee fans, Glee got moved to Tuesdays when it comes back so dont fret!
Time for Danny Boy to get rid of that Chia Pet on his face!
Agreed!
I agree!
I didnt think the episode was as good as it usually is but I still love the show. I hope it does well on Wednesday. The preview for Wednesdays looked Hilarious!
I loved the whole ascot thing with Daniel and Marc LOL. And I laughed so hard when Amanda did a runway walk down the tube – we havnt seen that in a while. Btw, I HATE that Denise girl Cal hired. HATE.
But overall I really enjoyed the episode =) Not as good as last week but still enjoyable. Soooooo excited for Wednesdays Jan 6th!
She never stood a chance – she’s the horrible girl who gave Carrie “the face” on SATC after she and Aidan broke up!
Yes! I knew she looked familiar!! Hahaha, “the face” I love it!!!
I really liked the episode. It was a little more simple after a jam packed and intense Bahamas episode and I liked it. I dont know what I think about Hilda really being pregnant but oh well.
Judith Light is a darling. I’m so glad they promoted her to a series regular in season 2 because she is a terrific actress.
I liked the episode…not the best but very good =)
I LOL-ed so much when amanda strutted her jump suit hahaa and I laughed at the grocery shop scene and when Hilda covers her face with the cracker box LOL. A lot of great physical comedy.
and yeah, taht denise character was so annoying.
YAY UB is moving to WED @10PM!!! thank goodness.
that being said, i can’t stand Matt. when’s his storyline going to be over?? he’s not even really good-looking!
his story is over at the 14th episode I beleive…and I think he’s pretty cute haha
Be careful what you wish for. It’s return to Wednesday nights will be the final nail in it’s coffin.
Totally agreed. ….the guy who plays Matt needs to eat a few sandwiches too….wayyy too skinny
what does his weight have to do with anything?
why do other people always believe that they have the right to talk about other people’s weight?
if its inappropriate to talk about other people being too fat, its inappropriate to talk about other people being too skinny.
you don’t know why a person is fat or skinny (it could be a medical or genetic reason which would make it none of your business!)
i feel sorry for you because apparently no one taught you any class.
I think that its so funny that you are judging a guy for being too skinny..I dont think I’ve ever heard that before lol.
I think Matt is fine the way he is! You should judge yourself before judging others.
I also agree that the Matt guy is really scrawny looking…and so what? People judge female actresses ALLLLL the time for being too fat/too skinny….so why can’t we judge males?
Personally, I like my men to have a little bit of meat on their bones…as it stands right now, Justin is almost more manly looking than Matt.
oh right…that’s a perfect excuses “everyone does it, so that makes it right”
Funny, cause he’s in commerical’s for McDonald’s dollar menu.
in the commercial with that damn tan spot on his face…I hate that commercial
I liked the episode too and I cant wait till Jan 6th Wednesdays!
I laughed a lot at those lines and at amandas strut and at the whole grocery store sequence and when Betty screamed “BOBBY?! It’s Bobby in the house!!” A.Rod is HOT HOT HOT. Omg I love him. And I also liked it when that lady was like “are you..positive?”
I loved the episode too! This show is great! I cant wait till jan..the promo looked so good.
You missed this one:
“Just call us you’re SUGAR DADDIES!!” – Matt
Should be “your” – NOT “you’re”
lol…sorry
you missed “You know how it is with the holidays and alcoholics” and then Bobby said “Haha, that’s true!” so random, I love it.
Best line of the show!!!!!
I loved Marc’s whole “And we will do what she says, because she is Willy, and we are just men.” speech to Daniel. Hilarious.
yeah that was my fave line too
I hate that hilda’s pregnant
it doesn’t fit her character at all
she learned from the last time and to be pregnant AGAIN with another bad boy type? hilda has grown up and this is inconsistent with her growth
I agree. And her comment about a pregnancy test being the one test she never failed…Um, isn’t Justin her only child? Makes me wonder just how many pregnancy tests she took to confirm his conception.
Aren’t you reading into that comment a little too much?
I have a feeling it’ll be a false alarm becuase even Ana Ortiz, who plays Hilda, didnt sound like it was going to last.
That’s what I’m thinking too!
I’m pretty sure they had to do that because Ana Ortiz is actually pregnant. Sometimes you can’t help that.
She was pregnant last season, not this season. She has already had her baby
This show is the absolute pits. You people grasping at some semblance of what it once was make me laugh, especially these overzealous “best quips” puff pieces by Stranksy that follow every ho-hum lackluster episode. Real fans know UB died several seasons ago and no one has the heart to inform it of it’s demise yet. It’s the living dead. Word on the street is that it will be back on Wednesdays for precisely 3 weeks before ABC pulls the plug on it for good. Mark my words.
I would definitely consider myself a ‘real fan’ – I’ve watched every episode since Season 1, and own the seasons on DVD. And you know what? I still think this show rocks. The humour, the well thought out characters – everything about it is great. What I like most is that even if the plotlines are a little crazy, they still resemble things that’d happen in the real world (though in it’s own kind of way). I think this season’s just getting better!
If it’s so terrible why are you still watching and/or commenting?
“Word on the street is that it will be back on Wednesdays for precisely 3 weeks before ABC pulls the plug on it for good. Mark my words.”
And where are these seats because ABC let out A PRESS release saying they are ordering the full 22 episode season order so there is no way they can break that contract.
And lastly, I feel so sorry for you. You must have bad taste in tv if you think a critically acclaimed show isn’t good. This season is probably the best its been since season 1 and I find it comical that you think it’s bad.
I’m realer than you are. Get a hobby or something. You must be very lonely and frustrated to keep watching a show you no longer enjoy, and taking up other leisure-time activities would be healthier for you.
Nihilistic, you certainly live up to your name. But you are also rude and ignorant by insulting those of us who are fans by saying that we’re not “real fans,” whatever that is supposed to mean. And the word “several” implies a number that is at least three, so according to you, UB died within its first season. The show has reached its creative high this season… in some ways, it is even better than the first season. What I can’t understand is why you would bother clicking on, reading, and then commenting on articles about a TV show that you don’t like. Perhaps you don’t like anything, so UB is the closest that you come to expressing an interest in something. Maybe we should all feel flattered that you are lowering yourself to condescend to us lowly false fans.
i thought it was the most riculous episode this year i mean that routine with the pregnancy test in the bathroom has been in many movies it just seemed off and the scene where Willy is having conjugal visits in jail is not real they are not married
Yeah this episode was not really that well done IMO
Willy was able to get conjugal visits with Connor because her father is a senator, she said that in like the first two minutes! Maybe you should pay attention before you say things don’t make sense! UB is good this season, will for sure be following to Weds!
Yes…..Didn’t Willi say “Having a Senator as a father has it’s perks”?? (Explaining how the conjugal visits were arranged.
This may not have been the BEST episode but I still think it was good enough! I enjoyed it and thats all that matters to me.
It’s a tv show – campy and not always realistic! Get over it and just enjoy it – it’s pure entertainment!!
My favorite line was when Bobby (Alex) walked in with the Baby Jesus and asked, “Anybody want a baby?”
I LOVED that part.
favorite part: Bobby walks into house and Betty realizes Hilda’s other guy is bobby: Bobby.. Bobby in the Hoooouuuse yayyy.