Better watch your back, Mel Gibson — there’s a new star-studded Bible in town: A 79-CD audio version, in fact, with quite the illustrious cast. There are a few obvious choices — ahem, Jim Caviezel as Jesus? — but a lot more unexpected ones: Jason Alexander as Joseph (as in technicolor dream coat), Lou Diamond Phillips as Mark, Harry Hamlin as Nehemiah, and my favorite, Luke Perry as Judas. Dylan McKay! Is Judas! The mind boggles. Also, Marisa Tomei lends her voice to Mary Magdalene, which is somewhere on the sublime border of “what the hell?” and “actually…yes.”
Poor Sean Astin gets the shaft as Elihu, who’s just a supporting character in the Book of Job, and despite what we know about his real-life fathering skills, Jon Voight provides the voice of Abraham. Unfair! British actor Martin Jarvis is the voice of God Himself, but Michael “You’ll Always Be Asher from Gilmore Girls to me” York does the most work as the narrator for the entire thing.
This doesn’t make me any more likely to listen to a 98-hour reading of the Bible, PopWatchers, but it does make me want to assemble a dream cast. Sarah Michelle Gellar as Jael, anyone? (Biblical ass-kickin’ heroines in the ha-us!)
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It’s not new. They were selling it last year at the Christian bookstore. It’s the white version of The Bible Experience, which was a star-studded audio bible featuring black actors (Blair Underwood as Jesus, Samuel L. Jackson as God, Bishop T.D. Jakes as Abraham, etc.)
Considering who plays God, I only wish there was a line in Exodus where God says, “I am tired of these motherf—– Egyptians!”
uh wow!
You beat me to it
I was just about to make this same comment.
Ever since Daryl VanHorne quoted the Bible a few weeks ago on Eastwick, I’ve wanted a Paul-Gross narrated audio Bible. That man has the best voice in television (while it lasts…)
OMG yes. Paul Gross’ voice = SEX!!!!
He could read the newspaper aloud and I’d sit in rapture listening.
or the version on The Simpsons, read by Larry King. (Which SOME people might find “inappropriate”!)
There’s also a teenage version (for the Next Generation) that has a bunch of hollywood teens in it. And Sean Astin. But for the life of me I can’t remember any of them. The original is called the Word of Promise Audio Bible.