'Ugly Betty' Bites: 19 hilarious lines from last night's episode!

ugly-betty_lDespite the increasing chatter that ABC’s Ugly Betty has gone the way of shoulder pads—that’d be out—last night’s episode was still loaded with some of the best one-liners anywhere on TV. And how about Betty and Marc dressed as a hot dog and a bun? Classic. But back to those great lines from last night. Here are my faves:

“Wow, look at that giant pile!” —Amanda, talking about the load of files that Betty was toting around the office

“I know, and it’s carrying all those papers.” —Marc, referring instead to Betty as a pile

“Oh I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you over your loud shirt.” —Betty, getting sassy after Marc continues to insult her

“Oh my God, Mandy, you were like five seconds from flipping his omelet right here on the desk! You love him!” —Marc, after Amanda flirts away with Matt

“Please! He’s tainted. Kissing him would be like kissing Betty.” —Amanda, to Marc’s claim that she wants to kiss Matt

“Lexi. Like sexy!” —Daniel’s new assistant Lexi, introducing herself to Betty

“I’m Betty, like confetti!” —Betty, with a cheeky, fitting response

“Yah, you have mastered email. Welcome to 1993!” —Hilda, making fun of her father Ignacio, who just figured out email

“Great pep talk! Everyone looked real scared.” —Marc, to Willy after she chewed out some of her staff

“Speaking of things you hatched, Nico is here.” —Marc, to Willy about her daughter being in the Mode office

“Don’t be sorry. Being sorry takes time. Just spit it out.” —Willy, after Betty comes up to her and starts apologizing before getting to her point

“I can’t believe you dragged me down here. What kind of sad people eat in cafeterias?” —Willy, while having lunch with her daughter Nico in the Meade cafeteria

“I would bust a rib if I hadn’t had them all removed!” —Willy, trying to show her enthusiasm for the Meade cafeteria

“I’m not giving away the whole fruit basket, Betty, just the nectarines!” —Hilda, convincing Betty that her sexy photo for her boyfriend isn’t quite that scandalous

“Please don’t eat in front of the customers. A hot dog eating a hot dog? It freaks them out.” —Hot dog cart owner, to Betty, who’s in a hot dog costume

“Don’t you have enough blood on your hands?” —Willy, to her daughter Nico, who spills fake blood all over her hands at Mode’s vampire photo shoot and is also on the lam after murdering an ex-boyfriend

“As much as I like giant wieners flying at me, this is a little outside my comfort zone.” —Marc, to the hot-dog-suit-wearing Betty

“Whatever that is, it’s cut.” —Willy, upon Betty’s arrival to the Mode editors meeting in a hot dog costume

“Seems a little dry. Maybe it could use a little mustard.” —Willy, making a joke about Betty’s story, which the young editor was telling her about while wearing a hot dog costume

So, PopWatchers, I rounded up my faves, but what did you love? Which great zingers did I miss? What’d you think of the episode overall?

More on ‘Ugly Betty’ from EW.com:
‘Ugly Betty’ Bites: The best lines from Betty’s makeover premiere episode!

‘Ugly Betty’ Bites: 15 great lines from last night!
‘Ugly Betty': Time to close down this business?

Comments (33 total) Add your comment
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  • readyforit1

    Last night was quite the snoozefest, IMO. Seems like the episodes are getting worse by the week…

  • kaci

    the hot dog and bun song and dance at the end… i CRIED from laughing so hard.

    and i loved it when betty gave marc a hug. adorable. :)

    • Joanne

      I agree! I agree! I was eating and a bit of noodle actually came out of my nose as I was laughing so hard. Since I was streaming it online, I replayed like 10 times. Still gets me every time.

  • laura

    Ugly Betty keeps getting better and better!!! It is a shame that ABC put it on Fridays … It would go great on Weds. with the three other hit shows! .. Move Hank to Friday and Betty to Weds. at 9 .. and ABC would become ‘ Weds must see TV ‘ .

    LOVE LOVE the last scene of Marc and Betty … just a great job from both of them. That almost hug from Marc made me tear up.

    • jenna

      Betty’s an hour, it wouldn’t fit in Hanks 1/2 hour slot. Hank is bad. I don’t know why ABC didn’t keep Samantha Who? And I don’t know why they bothered putting Betty on at Fridays to have a “low ratings” excuse (on Friday!) to cancel it. Should have just cancelled it last year, since that was the case.

  • Chaz

    Thank you for this, to counter Ken’s slam on Watching TV. I think the show still has some life left in it, even if ABC doesn’t, and I’m enjoying this season.

    • chattypatra

      I know! Reading Ken’s misguided review, I kept thinking of the irony that he slammed it while Tanner was able to list so many funny lines. Only Modern Family has as much wit as Ugly Betty when it comes to one-liners. Long live Betty! Wait until her braces come off; jaws will drop for sure. :)

  • Gregory

    Last night’s episode was the first I’ve had a chance to watch this season. I was pleased to see it had regained some of its zing while also creating some touching moments between Marc and Betty. Could do without Nico and the murder plot. Stick to the office antics at Mode and bring on some crazy photo shoots.

  • lotusmama

    I loved last night’s episode! I was laughing and crying so hard! Please please save this show. I don’t really understand why ABC is trying to kill it.

  • opus

    I had almost given up on Betty but it is sooooooo much better so far this season. I urge people to give it another chance to win back viewers. Last night’s show was great!!!

  • Tina

    I still enjoy Ugly Betty. It deserves better treatment than this! The writing is still pretty sharp and it’s better than most comedies on TV right now. I also loved Marc and Betty at the end of the episode last night.

  • Yay Betty!

    Thanks for the counter-point, Tanner!! Plenty of us are ready for more Betty. Sorry you don’t like it, Ken. Let’s not forget, Betty manages to entertain its viewers without date-raping its female characters, unlike Ken’s precious Dollhouse.

  • Kenny

    Ken has never liked Ugly Betty. He’s never missed an opportunity to slam it. Of course he’d write a piece making a case for getting rid of it.

  • Eve

    I could just feel myself loosing maturity points laughing at Marc’s giant wiener line, but come on, it was pretty priceless!

  • Anna

    I LOVED THE EPISODE LAST NIGHT!! SOOOOOOOOOOO Funny. But I think tthere were more funny lines than that. The whole episode was written very well. LONG LIVE UGLY BETTY…this season is proving how much I love this show.

  • Ashley

    I LOVED the episode last night. More people need to start watching Ugly Betty. IT is so much better this season!

  • Melinda65

    I still love this show, especially when Marc and Amanda show that their snark is only skin-deep…or, perhaps, that Betty’s innate goodness is wearing off on them. Michael Urie was awesome in that last scene.

  • Anonymous

    I do agree that it’s certainly not at the level it was in its first (and even its second) season, but it’s still definitely an enjoyable, fun show; and Michael Urie continues to be one of the most underrated actors on TV. LOVE him.

    • Derby

      REAL TALK: It’s a crime that Michael Urie hasn’t been nominated once for his performance.

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