The verdict is in: Candy Corn Dots are disgusting. If you like candy corn, don’t try them. If you like Dots, don’t try them. Even if you’re hungry, and they’re all that’s left at Fright Aid. Just avoid them.
I could potentially have stomached more than four of these death pellets if they’d been fruit-flavored instead of candy corn-flavored, even though orange and lemon are my two least favorite Dots flavors. But the fruit is a moot point. Dots are inherently suggestive of fruit, but we all know that after about 10 of them, the five original flavors end up blending together into one called “spicy chemical waste.” Instead of a fruit-tinged sludge, Candy Corn Dots hint vaguely at burnt marshmallows. Not candy corn. If you had not seen the Dots box or known what a candy corn looked like, “candy corn” would never occur to you until maybe an outside party presented them and asked, “Would you care to take your mind off of things with some candy corn?” To be fair, it’s an impossible feat: Candy corn’s chalky consistency is what makes it so special, and a wet-yet-bullet-proof gummy substance could never hope to measure up.
In one way, Candy Corn Dots succeed: A candy corn tastes like nothing else in this world, and so do Candy Corn Dots. Though the products consequently do not taste like each other, a similar concept is at play, wreaking havoc on your cold-spaghetti innards — and for that, a single, well-meaning Candy Corn Dot should be lifted up, quizzically eyed, possibly licked, and somewhat respected before you pour the rest of the box into the trash.
Thanks for sending a Halloween package to the office, Mom!
Follow Annie on Twitter: @EWAnnieBarrett
Comments (1-15) of 19 Add your comment
They are disgusting. But Candy Corn Chocolate Kisses are delicious.
candy corn is gross, dots are gross… I wouldnt try Candy Corn Dots if you paid me, but wouldnt be surprised if I liked them…
If you paid me, I’d try them.
Your tags are great.
Agreed! Loved the tags!
why the need to combine – dots are great on their own – candy corn is something to be savored in the fall – put them together – for the love of all things Halloween – W H Y !!!!
They weren’t that bad, but not as good as original Dots or Candy Corn on its own. Also, news flash, green-flavored Dots are the worst.
lol@ “green-flavored”
In the world of candy, Kool Aid, and jelly donuts, color is a legitimate description of flavor. At a conference I attended last week, several of the people there were joking that the red jelly tarts on the snack table looked like ketchup. So when no one else would eat one, I gave it a try. When they asked what flavor it was, I replied “Red.” There was no other description–they weren’t recognizably cherry, strawberry, or raspberry. They were just…red.
Re: my green-flavored comment, I don’t know how else to describe that taste, it certainly isn’t lime or something else traditionally green, hence it is green-flavored, and it is gross.
See, I think that the flavor is lime pith. Which is gross and should be avoided at all cost.
The candy corn Hershey kisses are equally disgusting. I made the mistake of buying a bag last year and ended up throwing most of them away.
Love the sad candy face!
Agreed. They didn’t get the flavor quite right and a whole box gets monotonous. And while we’re on the subject of Dots, the green ones have got to go. If we, as a society, have the technology to create green apple flavored candy then we should do it. Why on earth would you put a lemon AND lime (is that what they are, cause I call them gross) candy in the same box? I would also accept grape dots as a substitute for whatever they think their green dots are. If you’ve ever been driving down the road and spotted a bread crumb like trail of green dots, then just know that I passed through.
I’ve been curious about the candy corn dots. The blood orange ones (called Bats) are pretty good.
My best friend’s daughter recently handed me a candy corn dot and asked me to try it. It was even worse than this post suggests. Gross I tell you…GROSS!!!
“Things That Make Me Die Inside.” LOL. Indeed. Even regular Dots are disgusting. Candy corn isn’t great. How did someone come up with something so awful?
You guys!!!! These are amazing!!! I love love them…and I bought them while i was in Boston for all my fellow dot friends and they loved loved loved them too!!! They all went and bought some!! I guess everyone has different taste, thats why we have variety…but if you guys hate them so much, hopefully they will go on clearance and I can have them all to myself! =) Happy Halloween
hahaha. this review made my night. thank you.