File this under the heading “Sometimes God and/or TV producers answer your prayers”: Yesterday afternoon, I was working on a blog item about my not-so-secret obsession with the CW’s frothy but low-rated Melrose Place and how the show would be a zillion times better if it got rid of Ashlee Simpson-RefluxWentz and the actor I affectionately refer to as Dude Who Plays Auggie (DWPA). Then, shortly before sending it to my editor, my colleague Michael Ausiello broke the news that both actors were leaving the show.
If I were a smart/superstitious person, I’d have dropped everything and started writing about how Melrose would also be more enjoyable if I hit the MegaMillions next Tuesday and waited to see if the universe would grant two unpublished wishes in a row. If I were a kind and gentle person, I’d have deleted the item I was working on, which complained about the fact that Simpson-Wentz’s face had failed to register a single, genuine human emotion over the course of the show’s first seven episodes, and how DWPA had only escaped dead-heating with Jessica Simpson’s sister for “least valuable cast member” by virtue of his permanent “Blue Steel” facial expression. (DWPA had impressively used “Blue Steel” to convey arousal, sadness, anger, and confusion during his series run.) Also: There was that one time he took his shirt off after going for a run. Yeah, that.
But I’m neither superstitious nor a saint. And while I am genuinely stoked that the absence of Simpson-Wentz and DWPA after episode 12 will mean more time for deliciously self-absorbed Ella (Katie Cassidy), conflicted/unspeakably beautiful Lauren (Stephanie Jacobsen), and (yes to the yes-y’all) bitch of all bitches Amanda Woodward (Heather Locklear), I also hope that Melrose‘s producers are a little more thoughtful in their casting choices going forward. I mean, watch the embedded clip of Simpson-Wentz below — from 6:09-6:29 she proves unable to convincingly drink a Red Bull (!), and from 0:49-2:39 and 7:40-8:04 she aims for seductive psychopath, but winds up delivering more of a drunk junior-high student imitating Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction — and tell me if it wouldn’t have been better (and cheaper) to affix some pipe-cleaner arms and corn-husk hair to a curtain rod and cast it as Violet.
What do you think, PopWatchers? Have these two cast deletions given you hope for the future of Melrose? Should Simpson-Wentz be banned from pop culture altogether? Share your thoughts in the comments section below.
i kinda feel bad for her personally… i dont watch MP but i did see the clips and yea the acting was bad but it was bad all around… she’s got really pretty hair though lol
I could not agree more! I have been enjoying the show, but I cringe every time Ashlee Simpson is on screen. I am very much looking forward to her departure and the return of Amanda!
I agree that I could not agree more.
please go away and take your sister with you!!!!!
I still miss me some Auggie. Don’t care about Ashlee so much…
Are you kidding? Have you watched the original Melrose? Bad acting was part of the fun! They should have gotten rid of the milquetoast girl who plays the horribly lame Riley. Violet was one of the few interesting characters on the show, and Ashlee managed to make her seem so cold and creepy. (Don’t know if it was on purpose, but still…)
Auggie’s character had a lot of potential and he was so beautiful to watch on screen. Can’t believe they fired these two….
I agree with you on Auggie. Lot’s of potential for growth of plot and character… wasted so far with what little he’s had to work with. None of what’s been given to him really requires any kind of projection from him. (sigh) I really enjoy Colin Egglesfied and wish they’d reconsider. He was wasted on All My Children and totally wasted here.
I don’t think Auggie has been given anything to do yet, so who knows what kind of actor he is.
Also, Violet was one of the most interesting characters. I agree, get rid of Riley (and Jonah too). Riley is such a boring waste of time; at least Violet was a trainwreck and Auggie was mysterious.
You’re absolutely right about Ashley and DWPA (yeah, I don’t know and don’t care about his real name either) … they were 2 of the reasons I would DVR the last 2 eps and then not bother watching them.
“Blue Steel” facial expression is dead-on, LOL! Absolutely no acting skills whatsoever.
But add that annoying engaged couple to the mix too, especially the girl … can’t stand either of them, gag.
I just might start watching again, esp. when Locklear strides onto the scene.
Hey now, hold on. There was at least one use of Le Tigre, and a very close attempt at Magnum.. even if he couldn’t pull it off.
Oh and that pig-faced kid who plays Michael’s son (although he looks like, is named after and is the same (would-be) age as Jake’s son from the original) has got to go. He’s a bad actor and his story line is absolutely inane.
Violet is the best character on an already much better reboot than 90210
I remember thinking the exact same thing about the Red Bull! I hope they replace Violet with someone equally as crazy, every soap needs a psycho.
Yeah, what Brenda said … horribly lame and incompetent Riley should be on the chopping block next! Maybe it’s the way her character has been written so far, but she comes across as whiny and spoilt, and stupid. There is absolutely zero chemistry between her and her “fiance”. Not a believable couple at all.
Ok, for starters whether you want to admit this or not, this show would not have gotten anywhere near the publicity it did had they not put Ashlee on the show. Oh and the Ashlee “reflux” comment- so hilarious! Not. It happened once. She is not the only singer who has used a backing track and she wasnt the last. You people need to move on, it makes you look stupid for bringing it up YEARS after it happened. What is everyone’s issue with Simpsons? There are much worse people in the world you can put your energy into disliking.
Calm down, Joe.
riley and jonah are actually my favorite part of the show. maybe i’m just a sucker for the good guys.
Ouch! I find myself feeling a little sorry for the girl – I’m sure she’s a perfectly lovely person – but the acting is atrocious. Once again your analysis is not only spot-on but enjoyably funny as well. Well done!
I had fallen behind, but once I read about the demise of Colin Egglesfied, I deleted it off the DVR completely. Yes, Ashlee should have NEVER been cast. Ever. There is toast that is more compelling than she is, but I have been a fan of Colin’s for years and felt that the Auggie character could really go places if given the chance. It is a shame… I think there is a lot more Auggie story to tell. Plus, Colin has room to grow, acting wise. It is a shame they felt the need to ax him instead of giving him a chance to redeem himself and the character.
Ashlee was the best actress on that show, but this is a good thing now she can go back to music. And btw all you bagging on her i don’t see you doing anything she does. This show will be so lame without her
Katie Cassidy acts circles around everyone on this show. But it will be less interesting without Violet’s crazy eyes.