A whole lot of conflict moved into Melrose Place this week. Riley and Jonah were finally fighting; Lauren and David were going at it (no, not in the way we hoped), and old-time Melroser Jo Reynolds came back with her own brand of nastiness. Someone even destroyed that sparrows nest, the only sweet sign of nature in this whole apartment complex!
Riley and Jonah started with their usual nauseating banter over breakfast — “I don’t need to see your name in the opening credits to know I’m marrying the perfect guy,” Riley swooned, as she headed off to her modeling shoot and Jonah went for his big meeting at Paramount.
Each had unexpected outcomes for the big day. Riley went on her first shoot and encountered a bitchy, demanding photographer — Jo was back with a vengeance. Since we last saw her in the ’90s, it seems Jo had worked with a photojournalist who then sold her soul for fashion photography. She bullied Riley into posing topless and badgered her about being too young to get engaged. “Nobody really wants to teach public school and marry some guy who can’t pay the bills,” Jo snarked, in a way that wasn’t edgy but just plain mean. No wonder Riley stormed off the shoot.
Jonah met with studio exec Andy, who name-dropped Johnny and Leo and said cheesy not-even-feasible-in-Hollywood lines like “welcome to the dream, my friend.” He said he loved Jonah’s short film Living in Reverse and wanted to develop it into a feature with Cameron Diaz, only without the reverse chronology, the black and white parts and basically anything Jonah had liked about the original. Jonah was shell-shocked, until Andy’s development executive Kendra turned up. She flattered his ego about his original film and soothed his nerves that they can work on the kind of film he wants to do “on your terms.”
Oh, also, Kendra was hot – a movie geek who has perfected that sexy-librarian-takes-off-her-glasses move (actress Jenna Dewan is Channing Tatum’s wife). Kendra reminisced about their shared hometown of Philadelphia and suggested that Jonah come work on script ideas “over drinks” later.
Jonah came home to find Riley at Auggie’s apartment drinking tea (zzzzz) and telling each other how great they are. Jonah got a little fired up (finally!) and confronted Auggie, who let it slip that he and Riley had kissed. Jonah was fuming, and ditched Riley to go meet Kendra for that drink after all.
David discovered Lauren had a past-due tuition bill and offered to loan her the money. But Lauren grew suspicious and tracked him to a mansion where he was in the midst of his latest jewelry heist. They got into a huge fight back at his place…and MAN was that some sexy sparring! When, when, when are these two going to fall into bed? I thought that argument was going to segue into clothes ripping, but alas…not yet. Next week, please? We need something juicy to happen before Amanda Woodward comes back.
Meanwhile, Auggie gave Violet a ride on his motorcycle and finally got around to helping her assemble some furniture. (Insert your own “wooden performances” joke here. Man, these two are painful to watch.)
Ella’s outfit for the fashion shoot deserves its own recap paragraph (refresh your memory here). What a tangerine nightmare: that huge crazy hat, grandma’s scarf, huge knotted belt, and a one-shouldered orange dress with a white zipper. I usually like her style, so WHAT was that about? Maybe a not-so-subtle attempt to distance herself from Riley’s “real people wear real denim” angle. This was certainly not what real people wear.
Fashion aside, Ella was something of a heroine this week, when she stuck up for Riley with Jo: “Selling out? Weren’t you the one who traded in the refugee camps for a 12-page spread in Vogue? Maybe Riley wasn’t the only one out there posing today.” Jo even came by Melrose Place to apologize to Riley, told her Anton is using one of the shots, and revealed that she’s off to document poverty in Latin America. After that stiff and awkward “I used to live in this building” speech, I have to say, “Good riddance, Jo.”
Jo’s quick exit reminded me of this show’s continuity issues. Last week we ended with a big confrontation between Michael and Violet. This week, Michael was nowhere to be found and Violet was back in her own little world. Before that, the cops were everywhere investigating Sydney’s murder and now they’re gone. I understand that producers want to resurrect characters like Jane and Jo, but if they only appear as one-offs then it’s not helping us get further into the juicy characters that we want to see more of (for me, that’s David, Lauren, Ella and yes, even Michael).
On the flip side, I surprisingly realized there is one thing I love about Violet: how she sneaks up on people and freaks them out. I like to imagine it’s like that with Ashlee Simpson-Wentz on set too, creeping out Katie Cassidy at the craft services table. This week, I loved that Jonah called Violet out on lurking poolside: “What were you doing out here, gauging the pH levels?”
What did you think of this week’s episode? Wasn’t that fight scene between David and Lauren more like foreplay? Think Jonah will cheat on Riley with Kendra? Anyone going to defend Ella’s outfit?
Photo Credit: Michael Desmond/The CW
Comments (1-15) of 34 Add your comment
I completely agree with the writer of the article – the show lacks continuity!
Last week’s episode with Michael and Violet was priceless and I was looking forward to more this week but Michael was nowhere to be found.
Also, bringing back Jane as the new landlord of the building a few weeks ago was a good idea but she hasn’t been seen since.
Also, there needs to be more scenes with the wonderful Laura Leighton as Sydney – as the original premise of the show was to find out who killed her.
Jo was a bore!
Caleb is hot and he should become a regular cast member. He is a lot hotter than the original series token gay character, Matt!
This was another episode that was far too reminiscent of snoozeville season 1 of the original MP. This show needs more SCANDAL and much more Violet being crazy.
I agree, this episode just shows all the problems this new MP is having. Its nothing like how the old MP was good during its shining seasons. The writers of this new MP claimed they were fans of the original. Really? I sure don’t see that in their writing. Theres not enough action and drama!!
Its true too about the Violet and Michael letdown. Last week they were great together and now this week absolutely nothing was mentioned about michael/violet.
There is no way this trash is going to get renewed for a second season. Come on! Bring on the old feel and action from the old MP!
The continuity issue comes from Smallville. Both of the developers of this new MP are from that show. And seriously, Smallville has no sense of continuity.
And if it’s anything like Smallville, they’ll be retconning plot issues from this season year’s from now.
If anything, this show was screaming for Ryan Murphy to be the show runner. He is the king of shocks and scandal after “Nip/Tuck”.
I completely agree. Nip/Tuck is the Melrose Place of the aughts, even more so than this new Melrose.
I’m just glad that Jonah/Riley aren’t going to be having those sappy scenes for awhile. I actually like Auggie/Riley. They make me think of Billy/Allison from the original. What I thought was hilarious last night was Lauren getting all high and mighty about taking money from David. Huh? Apparently it’s ok for her to wh*re herself out, but taking David’s money that he gets from selling stolen merchandise is not. Wow. I’m interested to see if Lauren tells Michael about what David is doing since it sounded last week like he kind of already knew.
No question that your note on continuity is appropriate. Bring folks back or don’t, but go light on the “stunt” casting. I really think Amanda, Sydney, Michael, and Jane all bring things to the table and would have an actual reason for being back in LA/at Melrose Place. Though I would love to see Jake, I don’t think it is going to happen.
Please put a story in action and then keep it moving. Ella, Lauren, David – all worth watching. Violet is definitely well entrenched in the creepy and Syd did do a lot of the creepy (with an assist from Kimberly) in the original.
Let’s just get the writers room to focus and see if a real show emerges… There is still hope and I am crossing my fingers!
OK…the duder who plays Auggie (God, can’t stand that name either) maybe ne kinda, er, ‘wooden’ but…he’s the HOTTEST male cast member in my humble opinion….yum!
His eyebrows kind of weird me out. They are too low
There was a really good song in the middle of the show. “Where do we go from here” by Bear Lake. I just bought it on itunes
Poor New Melrose, always compared to Old Melrose, like a younger sister being compared to her older sis. How funny.
I’m a fan of the original and trying to fall in love with this new version – but so far they are not doing a very good job of integrating the “classic” cast with the contemporary one. There was no point to bringing Jo back in the manner they did – and so far they have not used Michael or Jane to full effect. They should either commit to having them as integral to the plots – or don’t bring them back at all! So far the only new character I am loving is Ella – and I even loved her crazy getup at the photo shoot!
“If anything, this show was screaming for Ryan Murphy to be the show runner. He is the king of shocks and scandal after “Nip/Tuck”.”
That was trash which only really worked because you could get away with more on FX. And he would have to turn Caleb into a serial killer or a rapist, or both, as he doesn’t write anything else for gay characters (aside from the token on Glee).
What a dumb comment.
The woman playing Violet is a terrible actress. Her character is weird, but the acting is too awful. Please get rid of her!
Honestly…Violet/Ashlee Simpson is PAINFUL to watch. Everytime I see her on screen I cringe bc she has that awful crooked eye issue and her acting is beyond bad. She makes Annie on 90210 look like a great actress—and that’s not saying much. I think they should’ve killed Violet in the season opener–no one would’ve been disappointed.
This entire show is a hot mess. So why do I keep watching it? I also agree perfectly with “Nip/Tuck,” which was definitely the new Melrose if I’ve ever seen one. Now I’m getting my soap opera disguised as quality television schlock from “True Blood,” because all of these revamps are ultimately just pale imitations of their powerful older siblings. Sad.
I’ve enjoyed Melrose so far but last night’s episode was a stinker for sure. Riley and Jonah need to join Tracy Lords’ cult and then be shoved down a hole. Jeeze. They are sooooo boring.
And Jo was pointless. But she kind of always was. I just hope La Locklear can fix this hot mess!
“Think Jonah will cheat on Riley with Kendra?” – I certainly hope so. Riley is HOT but their relationship is so vanilla it hurts. And this is Melrose, damn it.