Law & Order is touchy. Maybe it’s age—after all the show is an admirably ancient 20 years old, which in TVworld means Willard Scott should’ve offered them congratulations about five seasons back. But this past episode had the reigning Queen Mum of procedurals wagging a bony finger in all sorts of directions, including—perhaps unwittingly—its own.
The ripped headline was actually a hybrid, as they do more frequently these days, of Gosselin greed and Octomom blind ambition. (I suppose the Duggars were spared because they haven’t catapulted lawyers at each other…yet.) The “Jon” (Jim Gaffigan) of the married pair comes home with a van-load of kids, only to discover the “Kate” (Geneva Carr) dead on the floor—blunt force trauma, as they say. He is, of course, the immediate suspect, as is the grasping mother of multiples competing with the couple to get a reality show.
Things get interesting when the reality producer (Michael Showalter) asks Rubirosa (Alana de la Garza) to be on the show, and McCoy (Sam Waterston) insists she do it to get the DA’s spin out there. She’s annoyed, her eyes roll, stomach churns—almost audibly, so we know that we’re supposed to be disgusted by the very idea of Connie lowering herself to be on reality TV. Of course the whole thing backfires when her super secret lawyer notes end up on camera, tipping the defense off to a key witness, just in time for them to get him out of town.
The kicker, though, was the final scene. Rubirosa, McCoy, and Cutter (Linus Roache) are all huddled together, when Cutter and Rubirosa tell McCoy that the reality show is putting “Octomom” (Nina Lisandrello) and “Jon” in a house together, with a human lie detector, “You know, one of those guys who can tell you’re lying by the way you blink,” sneers Connie. And are you ready for the best part? “They’ve asked Arthur Branch to be the judge,” adds Cutter. Boom! There it is! After nearly an hour of mocking Octomom, Jon and Kate, and all of reality TV itself, they couldn’t help getting in parting shots at Lie to Me and former castmate (and Senator, and passing-fancy presidential nominee) Fred Thompson. (Should we be wondering whether or not the conservative pol and the liberal media parted on kissing terms?)
The question is: Was that last scene fair? Tweaking Thompson was funny but graceless, and what’s the point of getting in a lick on Lie to Me? But what was truly egregious was going after reality TV. Hey, I’m no apologist for the genre, but I do have a long memory. Raise your hand if you recall the short-lived series Crime & Punishment. No? Maybe this will help: Sometimes it was referred to as Law & Order: Crime & Punishment, because it was a Dick Wolf-produced reality series about the criminal justice system—as in, assistant district attorneys on TV prosecuting cases. Just like Connie! See that’s the thing, when your boss produced a series juuuuust like the one you’re mocking (sometimes even listed with your brand), maybe you oughta get your snooty little nose out of the stratosphere. If L&O’s producers want to wrestle with the pig that is reality television, fine. But they’ll walk away covered in stink.
House
We might as well talk about House, both because this was the last new episode until November, and because Chase (Jesse Spencer) is losing it. What’s with lying to Cameron (Jennifer Morrison) about offing Darth Dictator (James Earl Jones)? Isn’t she the one with a history of keeping things from him? At any rate, I’m still terribly curious as to how this story line doesn’t play out with Spencer leaving the show, in addition to Morrison. Is he just somehow going to get over it? Will we be doing a slow fade-out, á la Zack (Eric Milligan) on Bones? Lock him up, visit a few times, then forget he’s there? I’m just saying it’s a long walk back from agonizing guilt to no-thanks-really-I’m-fine-with-torching-the-Hippocratic-Oath.
We can talk about Bones and Castle together, since both episodes were essentially about each of these investigative pairs realizing what they mean to each other. I really appreciated Bones addressing Brennan (Emily Deschanel) and Booth’s (David Boreanaz) attraction, because it seemed to be a dead issue after episode 2 or so. And Booth was right to feel betrayed that she’d shared his story about eggs in meatloaf looking like eyeballs. It was their thing. Castle was just pure cute, with Beckett (Stana Katic) secretly miffed that Castle (Nathan Fillion) would dump Nikki Heat for a little Bondage, and Castle tweaked that she’d want to be rid of him. One tiny quibble: A dead man could see where that plot was going, and that the kid was hers. But I am willing to forgive Castle many things, including the occasional obvious plot issue. You can coast for a minute or two on charm.
One programming note, Coppers. The column is going on hiatus because somebody feels like they need to go on vacation. I don’t want to call anybody out, but her name sounds like Melinda Tweet. So there will be an open thread Friday and next Tuesday for y’all to talk about whatever procedural business comes up, and I’ll be back in action on Friday, Oct. 30.
So let me know what you thought about the past few days. Did Castle disappoint just a twinge? Were you as annoyed by L&O’s sanctimoniousness as I was? Does House’s comment to Cuddy, “You do make me feel funny,” count as the sweetest thing he’s ever said? Holla. And remember, let’s be careful out there.
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Actually, Castle didn’t disappoint me. I like it’s cheesy mix of sentiment and procedural. It was sappy, yes, but it sure was entertaining.
Me too. I LOVED the way he looks at her when she’s reading his dedication and he’s chatting with his publicist!
And, maybe its cause I have the flu, but I was thinking the wife did it and I liked the way it ended because it ended as it should have. Not every show has to have a dramatic shock value ending to each mystery.
Sorry, wrong “its”. I do know the difference.
+1
Thank you, I will chalk it up as a typo. Now, will everyone please quit using “lead” when they mean “led”. I can dream.
Actually, the producer of the reality show wanted Connie on the show in exchange for earlier footage of the couple, and Jack agreed to it. It wasn’t to get the DA’s spin on it.
And I think there’s a definite possibility that the final scene was meant to come across as either a joke on Jack, or a play on how ridiculous reality tv shows have become. I don’t think it was necessarily a slam on Fred Thompson
I agree, I think the writer read too much into it. I also don’t think they were making “fun” of Lie to Me, just the concept of reality show contestants taking lie detector tests and being judged by how they move their head when answering a question.
I thought they were making fun of those cable networks that have “body language experts” tell if someone is lying.
agreed
I also think they may have been tweaking the number of former DAs and defense attorneys who are frequent commenters about these shows and, perhaps, some of the TV judges
The best part of the show, IMHO, was the split screen of Cutter razzing Rubirosa for having to re-shoot her courthouse arrival
I really like Beat Cop. But I would like to see less emphasis on Law & Order and more emphasis on Mentalist, Lie to Me, Numb3rs, both NCISs and CSI: Miami.
I’m with Big D. L&O is great and all but how many ways can you recap a show who’s format hasn’t changed in 20 years? With the number of procedurals on TV, maybe EW should enlist more reviewers and make Beat Cop a daily column.
Lame excuse for a House and a Castle recap. Maybe instead of doing a Jon & Kate recap we can do a real recap of a show that people are actually watching instead of a show about people that I just want to go away.
Castle was the teensiest bit disappointing last night, especially after week’s “Best Case Ever!” (in Castle’s own words). This week’s case was just so-so, although I did like the “twist” that the uptight blond stereotype wife actually wound up being a sensitive, compassionate person. The scene between her and the “real” dad was actually kinda moving. But I’m more than willing to let Castle have an only-OK week, considering that next week’s Halloween episode looks AWESOME!!
Law and Order has been a little too smug and sanctimonious for me for awhile, which is why it’s no longer must-see TV in our household. Oh well.
I did see the final scene as a jab at Thompson, as I don’t think Arthur Branch would be involved in that stuff. You also missed the jab at health care, now that they’ve given Van Buren cancer (maybe she’s on the way out, after 17(?) years), and she talked about selling her car. Given that McCoy went after Cheney in episode 1 of this season maybe the two longest serving cast members are being put on notice (I would guess they are the two most expensive cast members).
I think they are just giving Van Buren cancer to give the actress something more challenging to do.
L&O has a loooong history of being sanctimonious. So, no surprises there. There’s a funny joke I heard on another TV show (can’t remember which one) that said about L&O: “Isn’t that the legal show that has a kindly grandfather teaching a series of supermodels about cynicism and the law?”
Castle didn’t disapoint me, all procedurals have to have those cases which are obvious to spot, because the true star of the episode was the character development and that was a lot of fun!
Law and Order is all about being sanctimonious – but that’s the point. Some time it ends up biting them in the butt.
Thought the Branch shout out was a nice tip of the hat to longtime viewers.
Bones shared Booths story cause he’s always on her mind and she thought his story was cute. Castle seems like a Bones wannabe that’ll never be.
I’ve never understood the need to constantly compare Castle with Bones. Fans of Castle don’t care if it will ‘never be’ Bones. We don’t watch it because we want it to be Bones. We watch it for it’s own merits and individual take on a odd couple partnership. (I’m sorry to disappoint Bones fans, but Castle does have its own merits.) It’s the same with The Mentalist vs. Psych. Why the hate? It isn’t like Hollywood hasn’t ever recycled an idea before, hmm?
For the record: I know there are many, many fans of both Bones and Castle. The above comment is directed at the fans that feel there has to be an either/or attitude about the two shows.
You are right on! And I am glad you mentioned Mentalist and Psych, two entirely different shows with a similar premise. Both excellent! (I love it when Sean takes those little jabs at Mentalist.)
I love Bones & Castle and Psych & Mentalist for their similarities as well as their differences.
i actually enjoyed the l&o.the swipe @ branch was hilarious,and the whole reality thing was done pretty well.i like this cast-anderson and sisto are the best duo since brisco and logan.
I’m beginning to think you don’t like procedurals in general…like all of the law and orders.
If I didn’t like procedurals, I wouldn’t write a column for which I follow 17 of them. Yep, 17. Just because you love something, doesn’t mean you always have to give it glowing reviews. And I LOVE the L&Os! I know all of the cop partner pairs from Chris Noth and George Dzundza to Sisto and Anderson, and I’m always advocating for T and Belzer to get more time on SVU. Heck, I was the only kid I knew who watched Quincy.
OMG I loved Quincy when I was a kid – I wanted to be him when I grew up.
I thought L&O was a hoot this week, but then I hate these so-called “reality” shows and all these pseudo-celebrities associated with them. And I don’t think they were trying to insult Fred Thompson, but, as someone else noted, just giving a shoutout to longtime viewers. Besides, just because Branch was asked doesn’t mean he accepted.
Line of the week, from House, “That’s not hate, that’s foreplay.”
I watched Quincy as a kid and thought it was great!
It’s a bit ridiculous to compare the cheesy reality crap being lampooned on L&O to a show like “Crime and Punishment.” That’s like comparing “The Real World” to “Dateline” – all reality shows are NOT created equal. And what’s with all the little snarkfest columns I’ve been reading lately on EW’s pages about L&O in general? Look…the show is 20 years old and YOU are still talking about it EW. That speaks volumes right there.
I agree! I’m sick of people lumping all reality shows together. The best ones deal with human behavior, and as humans act differently, there’s good and bad in everything. I thought the L&O episode was very well-done.
I thought L&O was highly entertaining. I don’t see how the final scene was an indictment (no pun intended
) of Fred Thompson.