Now that Balloon Boy has captured everyone’s imagination — and more than a little of our ire — it’s time to do what we do: Turn to the Internet in search of strange videos that shed some light on the situation. And by “shed some light,” I mean “freak us the hell out and make us wonder about this mixed-up, muddled-up, shook-up world.” Part of me hates myself for watching all of these videos. And yet part of me is so glad to share them with you, PopWatch nation. Let’s, uh, go to the vid-ee-oh-tapes!
Here’s the Heene family on Wife Swap a few years ago, embracing their kids’ desire to fartwheel at the dinner table. Oh, kids! Also, Papa Heene is kind of a douche in this clip:
Oh, and then they did Wife Swap again. More shouting! Also they believe they’re descendant from aliens, and the kids are still obsessed with farting.
Here’s part 2, part 3, part 4, and part 5. I know this show is constructed to bring out the worst in people, but I never expect it to work so well.
There’s also this weird “music” video, which contains both offensive language and offensive content, “rapped” at you almost incomprehensibly by the kids. It’s one thing to be willing to appear so negligent that the world easily believed you let your kid accidentally float away in a balloon, but it’s a whoooole other can of bad parenting to encourage your children to use homophobic hate speech. Also, keep your eyes peeled for a Heene kid slathered in brown sludge and a Santa hat, emerging Mr. Hankey-style from the toiler. Or, on second thought, don’t.
Yeah, the Heene’s sure love being on TV:
I cannot wait for these people to be parodied on SNL this weekend.
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La-la-la-la-Lola…
Soda. S-o-d-a…
Check the medicine cabinet for ipecac. Dad made the kid vomit. He’s a danger to his own children.
Damn, I thought the exact same thing. I wouldn’t put it past the mom or dad…
saw them on a rerun of Wife Swap recently. It’s very obvious these people are out for 15min of fame….they got it, now let’s move on…..
These kids are dilinquents in the making.It was embarrasing how disrespectful and unarticulate they were in all the interviews. They are far from normal kids!
I think you mean “inarticulate”.
Will someone please publish the words to the song. I can understand some, but not all. Just so I can be EXTRA horrified…….
Hmmm…I guess they refused your request for an interview. The stuff you are criticizing here is exactly the kind of pop-culture detritus that EW praises and promotes otherwise. And really, what “ire” are you talking about? If you spent your day following a story completely unrelated to your life, you can hardly blame the participants because it did not meet your requirements for entertaining closure. It is as if people are upset the kid didn’t die falling from the sky.
Climb inside this shiny new rocket
Close the door and waaave goodbye
Don’t hiiiiide in the attic
Ride it for me now Riide it high
The people are alllll watching
Staaaaring up aaat the sky
Can’t belieeeve what they are seeing
Is this a hoax or is this a lie
Where is balloon boy?
Where issss balloon boy?
The National Guard are in the sky
Where is balloon boy?
Where issss balloon boy?
Twenty-five police cars and nowhere to hide
The faaather he is cryin’
His poor little Falcon has met his demise
The mother sheee is tryin’
Trying to look like she is surprised.
The poliiice they are a searchin’
Stabbing that tin foil with their knives
They open the siiiiilver hatchet
No sign of balloon boy
(he MUST have surVIVED!?!)
Where is balloon boy?
Where issss balloon boy?
The National Guard are in the sky
Where is balloon boy?
Where issss balloon boy?
Twenty-five police cars and nowhere to hide
this is great!
Tim, you’ve got more talent than both families. Actually, since that places the bar so low, you have much much more.
This is the best part of the entire hoax – someone write the music immediately.
You must love digging up the past. Whats past is past and none of your business. You must never have had kids and understand this kid was hiding for fear of getting in trouble for unleashing the balloon. When all the news people showed up, he was even more scared and his father told im to come out because it was a ‘PARTY-TYPE’ THING GOING ON. iT WAS A TERRIBLE THING AND EXPENSIVE, BUT ALL A MISUNDERSTANDING.
Why would the kid be afraid of the dad? It’s obvious that neither parent did any actual parenting in that family.
Have you seen the video where the thing is actually launched. He screamed his wife’s name and began kicking stuff. In February 911 got a hang up call from the residence and a man yelling could be overheard. When police arrived, Mrs. Heene had a mark on her face and broken blood vessels in her eye. She said it was caused by her contacts and cops did nothing. This is surely not the last time we will hear from this family. Call me crazy, but I think this guy is a ticking time bomb.
None of our business? Pretty sure if you go on a reality show or put something on the internet, it’s there for perpetuity. Which makes it everyone’s business (and is kind of the point of being on tv).
yea, whatever my we you or whatever the hell your real name is.
“Whats past is past and none of your business.”
Absolutely correct, Fran. The nerve of some people, watching things that have been previously aired on television or produced for the sole purpose of being seen. How dare someone dig up the past and show us something we could only see otherwise in a rerun?!
Hear that, Internet?! Fran’s called you out!
TrueFan, I am a true fan.
You are awesome TrueFan. Heee!
haha the kid busted the parents by saying that they did it for a show. obviously they needed the income since the wife is out going door to door trying to get money for her family-lol. they look and sound desperater and since they think that they are not subject to societies rules- in their own sick imagination they can pull whatever they want and get away with it! poor kids theyre all screwed up now..how will they ever be normal???
These idiots make the Gosselins look like good parents. And dad is a total douche. What a loser.
OMGosh!! are those vids for real!!??? Geesh never watched wife swap….gald I didn’t….thanks for the laugh….that family needs some serious help!!
Cric
I think their music is the scariest part of the whole thing.
so let’s move on to the next freak show… come on Britney or Kate or somebody give us something to move on from this
I think this shows the extent to which the press will go to exploit any of us for a story; unfortunately, the degree to which people gladly participate implies consent, and so nobody even questions the propriety of it anymore. They get to simultaneously promote it and criticize it.
who in their right find whould go a show like Wife Swap
“You guys said we did this for the show”