Simon Cowell (along with his fellow X-Factor judges) is getting his own cologne, and my guess is it’s going to smell like new money, chest hair, and the Righteous Brothers’ “Unchained Melody.” Granted, the man has managed to get America to go bananas for Leona Lewis and Susan Boyle, but those products have some commercial viability all their own. A Cowell fragrance? I’m not so sure we’re ready for that jelly on this side of the pond. Not without a careful marketing and advertising campaign anyway.
Which has me thinking: What the heck is Simon going to call this product? Personally, I’d go with “Undershirt.” I mean, why not pair Simon’s signature scent with his signature look? Plus, starting the brand with “Under” recalls the success of Idol’s own Carrie Underwood. And the tagline practically writes itself: “For the man brave enough to appear on national television in a tatty old Hanes.” Hot!
What do you think, PopWatchers? I suggest you continue the brainstorming sesh in the comments section below. Go! (And get all my Idol ridiculata by following me on Twitter: @EWMichaelSlezak!)
Comments (1-30) of 76 Add your comment
“Snark” by Cowell.
It would combine the scents of failure, hatred, and sarcasm in one bottle.
“Arrogance”. Yes, that’s the same name the Rick “The Model” Martel called his own cologne in the WWF is the late ’80’s, but I’m sure they could work something out.
Boxtop BlackShirt
stinky
“Rude Boy.” For when you don’t mean to be rude, but…
Love the umlaut on the bottle.
The umlaut makes it!
Michael How about “Utter Rubbish” by Simon Cowell
Ha! That’s the winner.
I’m glad I wasn’t drinking anything when I read this, would’ve been one big spit take. LOL.
haha he should use that!
venom
Sorry.
As in did you say/sing something? I missed it.
Braggadocio.
Swagger.
Pomposity.
PipSqueak
Pure Indulgence
Like this one
LOL. My favorite!
Ahhhh, the sweet smell of “Success”.
I like “Success” the best.
Cruise Ship
As in, you should be singing on a…
hahaha!
Superiority by Simon Cowell
One dab, and you too will spew words like “horrendous” every time you open your flap and fondle your coworkers while you’re supposed to be working.
“Forever Single” by Cowell
The tag: Let others know by your scent that no woman or man will ever want you.
“Disdain.”
Nerples
hahahaha! good one.
Eau de Smokin’ Man Boobs
“Pompous” by simon cowell… There is never too much love for yourself.
Critiques…loathing…man-boobs…
“Douche” by Simon Cowell.
ha…Snark, Arrogance and Pure Indulgent are good!!!! (along with several others!)
ha…Snark, Arrogance and Pure Indulgence are good!!!! (along with several others!)
‘Hisnips’ by Simon.
“Adequate”
“Narcissism”
“EGO” because an ego this big has to smell.
Karaoke
EXTREMELY OR IMPRESSION OR REPUTATION
Brit Bore. Smell like a hog.