First off, I owe Cory Monteith an apology: When the guys’ Bon Jovi/Usher mash-up was released as a teaser clip and I criticized his dancing, I didn’t realize that the exhausted and Drakkar Noir-scented Finn was hopped up on pseudoephedrine courtesy of Terri, who took a one-episode job as school nurse to keep an eye on Will after Sue tipped her off that he has a thing for Emma. That would explain why Finn did a leg kick to “It’s My Life” (and since he shared the pills with the others, how that dude raised his body from the ground with no hands). It was all a part of Sue’s master plan: If you can’t take down the club, take down the man. When the principal found out that Will had created an environment competitive enough with his battle of the sexes glee-off for the newly complacent kids to turn to performance enhancers, he decided that Mr. Schuester was unfit to steer glee club solo. Cue Sue’s entrance as his new co-director. Genius.
So much happened in this hour that the musical numbers, though enjoyable, were almost an afterthought. Sue wasn’t the only one scheming. After Ken came to Terri to express his concern about Will and Emma (“Look at the two of us, you pregnant and me with psoriasis and one testicle that won’t descend — I don’t know who to feel more sorry for”), she suggested he propose to Emma. Even though I know Emma and Will can’t get together so early in the run, I thought he might say something a married man shouldn’t when she asked him if he knew of any other options she had. Matthew Morrison communicates so much with his tongue eyes. There’s a softness and a longing in them that I’m always surprised Emma (Jayma Mays) matches.
After Emma stood up to Terri and told her that Will deserved better, I was hoping she might have gone into that locker room to decline Ken’s sorta sweet proposal to keep her life clean of loneliness and sadness. I want Emma to be strong and know it’s better to be without someone for the right reason than to be with someone for the wrong one. But Terri had beaten her down and she accepted Ken’s proposal with conditions: She’ll keep her last name, they’ll continue to live in separate parts of town, they won’t see each other after school, there will be no guests at the wedding, and their union will be a secret. Only she told Will she’d said yes, to give him one last chance to tell her to say no. Who else was waiting for Will to sing a song after he walked away and looked back at her? What should it have been?
More questions: Is it wrong that I momentarily liked Terri when she swiftly dismissed Quinn’s attempt to get her to pay for doctor bills and maternity clothes now that she’s agreed to give her the baby? Whose delivery was better: Jane Lynch’s anytime she spoke as Sue (“Here I am, about to turn 30…” “You have to remember something: We’re dealing with children. They need to be terrified.”) or Chris Colfer’s as Kurt when he explained to the girls why they still had his allegiance (“They declined my offer to do their hair in cornrows, and all my artistic decisions have been derided as too costly because they involve several varieties of exotic bird feathers.”)? Were both sexes withdrawing from the competition — because winning isn’t fulfilling if you cheat — and Rachel throwing away the box of decongestants and getting back on her treadmill enough of an anti-drug message? (I say yes.) And since a winner was never announced, let’s choose one. Did you prefer the boys’ routine or the girls’ mash-up of Beyoncé’s “Halo” and Katrina and the Waves’ “Walking on Sunshine”? “If there’s two things America needs right now it is sunshine and optimism… also angels.” I vote for the ladies.