If there’s anything that goes on at West Beverly High, it’s important learning. So in honor of this week’s particularly school-centric episode, here are the five things we learned on 90210 this week:
1. Adriana’s into Teddy, whether or not she wants to be. Yes, she’s fantasizing about those tennis arms wrapped around her, which simply makes for hotter dreams than thinking about the unconditional love and emotional support Navid gives her. Sex really does ruin everything, doesn’t it? Worse still, she chose her acting career over Navid, going to an audition for a pilot — which she got — despite his pleas that she keep herself sane and out of showbiz. The upside? Adriana felt so close to him (translation: totally guilty about her feelings for Teddy and going back to acting) that she finally decided to relieve him of his virginity. Yay, Navid?
2. Navid’s now footing the bill for Dixon’s love life. As if his girlfriend’s wandering fantasy life weren’t bad enough, Navid has also been spending his credit and emotional capital on Dixon’s dalliance with hot older deejay Sasha: Dixon was getting couples’ massages courtesy of Navid’s credit card and was still zipping around in Navid’s porn king dad’s Lambo while Navid was stuck covering for him at school and with dad Principal Wilson. The good news: Dixon’s got to be close to his comeuppance now, having accidentally revealed a trunk full of porn to Sasha when the car got a flat. He explained it away, saying selling dirty movies was how he made his money and promising he had no other secrets, but it’s only a matter of time once the Lambo porn stash is found, you know? A suspicious Sasha then spied him coming home and hugging his mom at the door. As her friend said, “Who is that white woman and why is she hugging your boyfriend?”
3. Annie’s owning her craptastic life … at least for the moment. She went from depression to acceptance in this episode, mocking the guy who told her in the hallway that he’d gotten a mousepad made with the image of her sext. It seemed she’d be strictly in bitch mode from here on out, except …
4. Remember that “homeless” guy she ran over and then forgot to check on (that is, left to die by the side of Mulholland Drive)? He managed to somehow leave $100,000 to West Beverly in his will. The mechanics of this don’t really matter (he had money but was crazy, but was a big fan of West Bev when he was a student there, whatever). The point really was that the incident was still haunting Annie, and, in fact, creeping ever closer to her and allowing people to say pointed things such as, “The person who hit him and left him on the side of the road was the piece of garbage.” It also brought Homeless Guy’s kind-of (?) cute, misfit-ish nephew, Jasper, suddenly on the scene, being interviewed by Silver for the Blaze and causing Annie all kinds of guilt. Still a little hard to tell how to feel about him. I liked when he said to Silver during their interview, “You’re that crazy chick! Mentally ill chick. Seriously, I loved that movie you made last year.” But I can’t tell where things are going between him and Annie yet — or where I’d like them to go. She kept getting weepy around him and apologizing to him, which seemed to tip him off that she may have more connection to the case than a passing sympathy. But when they hung out later looking at the stars together, he seemed like he might truly be into her — or just setting her up. Hoping the latter. Someone ought to be smart enough to put this together already.
Even better, though, this incident started to reveal the cracks in Teddy’s all-around-nice-guy image, like when Silver asked to interview him — remember, he stumbled on the body afterwards — and he made fun of the homeless — or “abode-challenged,” as he cracked. Silver was annoyed with him then, but even moreso once she happened upon him kissing Adriana, though she’s yet to tell anyone about it.
5. Jen was in the French tabloids? Because she was married for a month to a French baron? I mean, of course she was. Then naturally Liam just happened to stumble upon this information, which is as ridiculous as a homeless hit-and-run victim dropping $100K on West Bev, but this is 90210, so let’s go with it. Liam tried to use the info to force her to fess up to Naomi about sleeping with him, but Jen chose instead to tell Naomi about her French scandale. Ah, but the joke may be on her, as that crafty Liam secretly recorded her saying to him, “Naomi will never believe that we slept together.”
What did you think of this week’s 90210, PopWatchers? Will Adriana slip and cheat on Navid with Teddy (again)? Will things get better or worse for Annie? How much longer before Dixon’s found out? What’s more problematic in your life — secretly rich homeless men or French tabloids?