I’d have tuned in to VH1: Divas last night just for that show-closing Kelly Clarkson-Melissa Etheridge duet, but I was also curious to see how Paula Abdul would fare in her first high-profile gig since officially exiting American Idol. And, well, if I were in the role of “nurturing judge” right now, I guess I’d have to put it this way: “Paula, you looked beautiful last night. And Liza Minnelli was right: Your shoes were sensational.” Sad to say, however, I can’t say the same for the portions of the telecast where sound was coming out of Paula’s mouth, as each uncomfortable between-performance bit seemed to paint the “Promise of a New Day” singer as a doddering buffoon.
And I guess that’s the peril of hiring Paula Abdul for a hosting gig. The VH1: Divas writers certainly couldn’t ignore the wacky-loopy-unhinged reputation of their MC, and yet, with the way Paula struggled and stumbled and eye-popped through even the simplest on-stage banter, it often felt like everyone was in on the joke except her. (I think even the Teleprompter was suppressing an inappropriate chuckle on occasion.) Explaining her role in helping discover and nurture former Idol contestants and current Divas performers Kelly Clarkson, Jennifer Hudson, and Jordin Sparks, Paula suddenly blurted out, “Hell, I almost breast-fed ‘em!” to nervous laughter from the audience. Later in the evening, she was dragged off the stage by a giant, glittery hook, after attempting to comically “run long” while introducing a presenter. And then, worst of all, Paula pretended not to know who Liza Minnelli was, for the sole purpose of setting up a decades-old “Liza with a Z” punch line. Note to Paula’s PR Team: It’s time to rethink your strategy when you’re purposely crafting a public persona that makes you look less lucid than Arrested Development‘s Lucille Austero.
Even Paula’s lip-synched greatest-hits medley had me howling in spots (and I say this as someone who proudly knows the words even to some of Ms. Abdul’s lesser-known singles: “It ain’t your Maseratti/ Your house on the hill”). I mean, if you’re going to play with the mic stand as part of your choreography, be sure it’s bounced back to you by the time your pre-recorded vocals kick in. Yikes!
The one segment that actually worked quite nicely — with Paula dressed as Ellen DeGeneres and doing the patented “Ellen dance” from the back of the Brooklyn Academy of Music all the way to a faux talk-show set on stage — was sullied by unnecessary dialog. “Why you all staring at me? Can’t a girl try out a new job?” Paula asked in her most deranged voice, and you could hear the audience gamely try to conjure up something aside from uncomfortable silence. I’m not sure what Paula’s next career move will or even should be, but I’m thinking something scripted, rather than a live event, might be her best bet.
What did you think of Paula’s VH1: Divas showing? Was there any part of her performance that worked? Or was it merely two hours of mockery and embarrassment? Share your thoughts in the comments section below! And if you want to keep up with all my Id0l-related articles, follow me on Twitter @EWMichaelSlezak.
All in all, she did a great job. This was her first time doing something out of IDOL and on top of it all, it was live. She did a great job opening the show, even if she lip-synched. Who doesn’t these days? Props to her for choreographing her own numbers and showing zombies like Britney what dancing is all about. Great job, Paula!
Um c….HAVE YOU SEEN BRITNEY DANCE??? Go watch Womanizer, right now!
I just went and watched Womanizer (right now!) She may be crazier than Paula but that song be catchy and she’s a fine dancer!
…of course her being half naked and singing about a womanizer was a bit beyond me, but whatever.
First of all this isn’t her first time doing something not Idol related – remember her fiasco of a reality show? Or are you trying to forget? Also to answer your question about lip synching – P!nk didn’t lip synch while doing a high-flying trapeze act at the same time. Also, did any of the “Diva’s” lip synch? Thought not. All in all I’d say she needs to go back into hiding.
Who doesn’t lip-synch these days? Ummm – how about EVERY OTHER SINGER ON THE SHOW SHE WAS HOSTING????
In addition, I utterly resent your lack of alarm at the preponderance of singers who do not ‘sing’. If they can’t sing, then don’t pretend. I like my talent authentic. There’s no excuse for it. If you are a good singer but your dance routines are too strenuous? No excuse. Madonna managed it. Every Broadway performer manages it. Either tone down the dancing or get really really fit. And if you just can’t sing?
BE A DANCER.
AMEN!
I take issue with “all the other singers on the show lip-synch”. Kelly Clarkson doesn’t lip-synch. She even sounds great acappella!! (sp?)
Agree with C. Although for an experienced “dancer” she stumbled through the opening number, which makes me wonder — can she carry a Vegas show night after night? I don’t think so.
The Ellen segment was clever.
Were you watching? Paula stumbled on the runway and almost toppled into the audience. She had no control of her mouth. And the lip synching while the mic was on the ground was hilarious. It played like a long SNL skit, only funnier. Oh and her dancing consisted of walking up and down the stairs (a good skill), stumbling and being carried.
I couldn’t believe my eyes. I used to love Paula but what I saw last night was a hot mess. i kept thinking back to that interview she did that had everyone wondering if she had a drinking or drug problem. Not good at all!
I was in the audience last night and was actually really impressed by Paula… she was much more lucid than I thought she would be. Yes, her bits weren’t all that funny but I think that was more the result of her nice-girl persona and tendency towards over-acting. All in all though, for a live show that involved her in costume changes, etc., I thought she hit her marks pretty well. It was painfully obvious that her opening was liipsynched, but her dancing was great.
I thought it was beyond painful. Her voice is enough to make me change the channel. She just seems so awkward to watch.
Wow. I didn’t watch it because I was appalled at the roster of “divas”. Yes, some of them are quite talented yet unless we are counting only some of the performers behavior as “diva-like” none of them have truly earned that title yet. I was also amused that the roster was very “Idol” and the british idol heavy. Now, I guess I will have to watch for the train wreck value although maybe Leona, Kelly and Jennifer turned in some truly diva worthy performances. I’ll just fast forward thru Miley and Jordin.
I totally agree. Miley Cyrus is completely banned from our household and the radio of our car. If VH1′s definition of “Diva” is a spoiled, high school talent show level teenager then Cyrus fits the bill 100%!
Record-breaking films, popular tv series, hit-smash albums, multi-award winning, jaw-dropping pay checks, millions of fans, etc…etc…
Yeah, pretty sweet for a so-called “spoiled, high school talent show level teenager”
Nice. LOL.
when Fructis had fans meet their DIVAS, Miley acted so snobbish to hers. She smiled faked, and hugged her fan like it was forced, while the other DIVAS were real cool about meeting theirs
Success and popularity are sometimes quite unexplainable, but the Disney factory does produce and package successes well in spite of themselves. Miley’s voice is annoying and her personality is grating, but the fans are mostly children & pre-teens with disposable income. She’s a fad.
A “fad” – that’s what people said about Madonna. And I like her voice, and personality, and I know of a few parents that watch the new Hannah Montana movie…even when the kiddies aren’t around.
Amen to that!! I kept trying to TURN THE TV DOWN she was shouting so much!!!
I partially agree with you. Miley, Jennifer, and Jordin should not get Diva status yet. Jordin and Jennifer will one day likely reach it, but it is too early in their careers to get the title IMO. I see Leona as a diva since her voice and success to platinum level has been so rapid. She also has a voice comparable to Whitney Houston’s earlier years. I don’t like Miley’s voice and can’t see how any adults can think she is a good singer….just my opinion.
ooops. I meant they will “deserve” to get diva status. They obviously got it regardless of our opinions.
Smilie12: I agree with some of your very valid points….but if Leona gets a diva pass for a rapid climb, then Jennifer most certainly deserves it even more. Oscar the first time out in acting? She is platinum level as well. Grammy nominated (not sure if she won?) Just saying….her achievements far outweigh Ms. Lewis ~ for now.
You’re kidding about Jennifer? She and Kelly were the best “young” divas of the group.
Glad people watch the same show…and see the exact opposite things – “opinions” are so fun. Personally, I thought the “Idols” got OWNED during the first half of the show. Like they were scared to death to even move their feet around, and using and “Idol” term, were “playing it safe” for the most part. I thought Adele and Leona Lewis blew them off the stage, and Miley *worked the stage* head and shoulders above every other performer out there…unless you call Kelly’s bouncing up and down like a basketball really working it. Things didn’t start to even up until the second half when the duets started.
Okay, I have to backtrack about Jennifer. I did not know that her album had sold this many copies yet. She definitely has a great voice and her work in Dreamgirls probably would make her at least equal Leona. Nonetheless, I don’t think Jordin is there yet. And I can’t see how Miley Cyrus was even considered.
“Okay, I have to backtrack about Jennifer. I did not know that her album had sold this many copies yet … I don’t think Jordin is there yet. And I can’t see how Miley Cyrus was even considered.”
Miley’s (newest) album is currently at #2, and most DEBUT at #1 …and probably sells at a faster rate than most other singers on the show, if not all. She made $25,000,000.00 last year – did the top 3 other “Divas” on the show, with their combined incomes, make that last year? Just curious.
Miley Cyrus has a following mostly by kids. Her voice has no range whatsoever. Income “should” mean nothing on whether you can sing or not. But obviously many stars are able to over come their lack of talent with electronics. Of course I don’t think Britney Spears can sing either and she sells tons of albums. I wouldn’t doubt she has VH1 diva status too.
Must be a whole lot of kids out there with a whole lot of money because she’s already pushed Whitney Houston…and a few other big-time artists off the Billboard top 5. And a great voice with “range” is no guarantee that you’ll have a nice long career – does Charlotte Church even sing now? And you said: “I did not know that her album had sold this many copies yet” …you didn’t say: “I did not know that her voice had that much range yet.” And as for the: “But obviously many stars are able to over come their lack of talent with electronics” comment…do you like L’il Wayne, or any other Hip-Hop/Rap artists? I sure don’t.
…..shouldn’t have said “off” (yet) Billboard’s top 5, because I meant she just keeps pushing them below her new album right after they peak above her. Colbie Caillat was at #1, but has dropped to #11 while Miley continues to hang onto the #2 slot, for now.
Miley was atrocious. Leona is still in kindergarten. She looked wooden, stiff, and almost scared to be up there. She’s definitely not in the league with Jennifer who has learned to work the stage; or Kelly Clarkson.
LOL at that headline.
Me too – had to read it out to several people.
Totally agree with you .I didn’t catch the full show (I have it recorded to watch later) .The parts I did see she wasn’t engaging to the audience at all . To me she also had a strange attitude .It’s a wonder how she made though “Idol all those years . She looked fabulous though.
I thought Paula came off like a middle-aged woman doing a bad Jim Carrey impersonation. I’ll give her credit for going for the gusto. It’s too bad it didn’t really work out. When Paul and Liza were on stage together, it was like a gay pharmacist’s dream come true. Just think of all the pills!
hahaha
Slezak, more like Sleaze-hack. Why so catty all the time?????
OMG! Can you say train wreck? She was hooooooooorible. The Ellen skit was terrible too. She just needs to fade away as her 15 minutes are up! STRAIGHT UP!!
However, the Lucille Austero reference was awesome, Michael. Long live Arrested Development and EW!!!!
I thought she totally kicked ass! She was a better Ellen than Ellen and at 47 years old moved and looked younger than the 20 year olds!
are you on the same drugs she’s on?
Considering Paula isn’t a comedian I thought she did great. She was much funnier then the guy who hosted the VMA’s last week.
I agree that guy who hosted the VMA’s is horrible. I miss the days of Arsenio. Let’s leave the dry boring British comedians in Britain.
PAULA IS TOO CUTE,FOR A WOMAN HER AGE OUT THERE DANCING LIKE THAT NOT TO MANY CAN DANCE LIKE HER ESPECIALLY WHEN SHE LOST HER BALANCE BUT SHE DID CATCH HERSELF!!LUV YOU GURL! LUV THE ELLEN ACT HELLA FUNNY!
I’ll try to be positive here: I loved the Kelly Clarkson/Melissa Etheridge duet! Paula’s Ellen dance moves were pretty good too. Loved Jennifer Hudson’s singing; wasn’t wild about her costumes. Jordin Sparks is beginning to grow on me.
Paula was the Diva of the night! She totally stole the show from the rest of the acts. Mike you are getting to be a bitter old man.
Slezak, what do you have against Paula? I honestly enjoyed the show very much, didn’t think that I would because in my mind, more than half of the singers would never even make a ‘diva in training’….but I watched because of Paula, and I was not disappointed. I thought she was great, seemed really tiny though, but her impression of Ellen was FANTABULOUS! How could you not like that???? Loved JHud, Adele, of course Kelly Clarkson. Loved seeing Cyndi Lauper, even though I am not a Leona Lewis fan. India Arie, Sheryl Crow and Melissa Etheridge..all great. Give Paula some credit for all the stuff she’s been going through, she was obviously nervous at the beginning, just like Jay Leno was the first 2 days of his new show, now he’s more relaxed, thus funnier. I would watch Paula in a well written comedy show, she can comedy act, she can sing and she can dance.
So tough, Slezak.
These shows always have uncomfortable, scripted comedy.
I’d only fault Paula for being a bit too high energy for the room. She was nervous but did not stumble, nor slur (not that you said that) her way through the script.
And as for not being in on the joke. I think the pop-eyed wackiness is the joke, and she’s definitely in on it.
Are you joking. Stop trying to catch a look under her dress. She almost broke her ankle stumbling. And she didn’t even pronounce her own name correctly.
I said no stumbling on the script. Read, please. Those who say she slurred or was incoherent are apparently going to say this no matter what this woman does, like parrots.
I’m not a man, and I am heterosexual, so I was most definitely not looking up her dress and finally, yeah, I know she had a stumble during the dance routine. And Beyonce once fell on her butt.
I simply disagree that she was awful, that doesn’t make me some sort of simpering, dolt.
Finally, her name. Sweet jeezus, that was part the joke from the promos from this show, as in, she got the job by using a different pronunciation. Not it’s not thigh slapping funny, but it’s idiotic to say she couldn’t say her name.