Stockholm Pride 2009 has gifted the Twitter community with a "How Hetero" test so that we can study the effects of heteronormativity — specifically its keywords — on society as a whole. It's fun, but clearly bogus. EWAnnieBarrett is apparently 71 percent hetero (keywords: ass, gay, making love, milk, lash), whereas EWMichaelSlezak (ass, anthem, fishing, Madonna, body) scored a 72. Seriously, the system actually counts those keywords as "gay." The notion that I am gayer than Michael Slezak is nowhere near as ridiculous as the insanity of either of us scoring higher than a 30 in the first place. Also, I refuse to believe I tweeted the term "making love." But I guess I did.
At 66 percent hetero, EWPopWatch is gayer than both of us, thanks to keywords "ellen, madonna, steak, eulogy," and the dreaded "milk." For the record, EWMandiBierly is the straightest of us all, at a whopping 75% hetero. When asked to comment on this "victory," she issued the following statement: "new york, cupcakes, cheeks, fishing, ass."
Okay, what'd you score?
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42% hetero… Found words: chorus line, big girl, milk, rent, shelter
My twitter is karenb0716.. and it is REALLY boring, lol!!!
Mine came back with “danerkebab doesn’t use cliché words. We like that.”
82% – the wife will be happy.
Words found – boom boom, drinks
Only 53% . . . hmmm. Guess being a musical theatre actor is taking its toll on me.
I’m 68% hetero because I mentioned Bruno, cupcakes, & Bridget Jones.
…suuuuure.
http://toointerestingfortwitter.blogspot.com
45% hetero. I’m gayer than Slezak! Words found: Whitney Houston, Madonna, New York, brilliant, musical.
71%.
Brilliant. Bum. Bone. Coming Out. Sugar.
I am 01% hetero! Found words: gay, pride, femme, new york, stonewall. I am superqueer!
Hmm I got that I don’t use “Cliche words. We approve.” Does this mean I need to step up my Twitter game? Probably.
I’m the gayest of them all, apparently. 23% hetero, because I used the terms “shop” (really?), “orlando” (REALLY?), “billy elliot”, “bat boy” and “windsor”. OK, I’m gay, but I didn’t think it was because I tweeted about visiting Orlando and once used the word “shop”. Crazy.
I got “doesn’t use cliche words. We like that.”
But I update my twitter maybe like once a week, and they are usually one or two word “tweets.” Short and sweet.
But then again, I did just mention that I was making cupcakes and listening to John Mayer in my update about 20 minutes before taking this quiz so I question the accuracy a little bit.
I knew something wasn’t right. I tried it again and got 44% Hetero! For the words cupcakes, available, and chocolate.
I am a whopping 88% hetero (politics, david beckham). lol! Apparently a girl who loves sports and politics is very straight. Surprising, but true in this case.
My favorite part was this quote that followed: “Wow! You’re double hetero. Most people might think that single hetero is enough. Not you. No, you must be both blind and deaf to doubt about you.” haha
85% hetero keywords: cheesy, madonna, broad, bruno and bender (???) Honestly I don’t ever remember tweeting about Madonna.