Jul 20 2009 08:30 PM ET

Guest Editor Seth Green: A wear-it-if-you-dare guide to Comic-Con costumes

Seth-green_l Thinking of dressing up for Comic-Con? Do yourself and everyone else a favor: Use this handy guide to determine what might be appropriate. In ascending order of how many hours-per-week you'll need to spend in the gym to pull off. Brought to you by the Robot Chickenstaff: Mike Fasolo, Douglas Goldstein, Tom Root, Matthew Senreich, Kevin Shinick, Hugh Sterbakov, Zeb Wells.

SITH LORD: All the weight-hiding benefits of a robe with the slimming power of black. A go-to if you tend to force-choke Hot Pockets more often than mouthy Admirals.

DOCTOR DOOM: Your cape gets smaller, but you still have full body coverage. If you can fit in the armor, the sculpted muscles will take care of the rest.

THE JOKER: You're not going to win any points for originality, but you're still technically wearing clothes.

SUPERMAN: We're knocking on the door to spandex territory, but there are two layers over your crotch, and there's a belt in there somewhere.

SPIDER-MAN: Now we've entered Spandex territory and are building a house there. We shouldn't have to say this, but every crack and crevice will be visible. Proceed with caution.

VAMPIRELLA: Your naughty bits are all covered, but you're still technically naked in most Southern states.

EMMA FROST: For professional models only, and even then your camel better have very small toes, if you get our drift….

PRINCE NAMOR, THE SUB-MARINER: There's a reason this guy lives in the water. The only place this outfit would be remotely acceptable is at the beach.

DR. MANHATTAN:If you've got the guts, go with God, but remember to take into account the shrinkage you'll experience when you're relentlessly tasered by convention security.

(Robot Chicken Season 4.5 premieres on July 26 on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim. For more info and updates, go to www.adultswimpresents.com.)

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Comments (15 total) Add your comment
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  • Jaclyn

    I admire Seth Green dearly, and this was a perfect example as to why…

  • jen

    these are the best posts, keep ‘em coming. I need more good laughs today!

  • Josie

    “…your camel better have very small toes, if you get our drift…”
    The funniest thing I’ve read all day!

  • Annie

    Every year my Comic Con photo album contains more obese Wonder Women, Leias, and Spidermen than I’d care to see. And yet they’re always the highlights of the album. It’s what makes Comic Con…Comic Con.

  • NO FAT CHICKS !

    I HATE fat chicks in skimpy clothes! ONLY pretty thin girls PLEASE !

  • Phil

    Can we please, for the love of all that’s funny, get Seth Green to write a regular column? His stuff today has been priceless!

  • TT2

    Laughing uncontrollably at desk. I should get back to work.

  • oraclebatgirl

    I have photo evidence to back up most or all of these assertions. ;) ~

  • TB3

    Sending this article to a friend who once cosplayed as Emma Frost. She looked pretty good, too.

  • BrendaTheSeamstress

    I make the Vampirella costume if anyone is interested!
    Wonder-ful Woman too!
    CustomExoticWear.com

  • BrendaTheSeamstress
  • Lora

    Heh, I would love to see a Dr. Manhattan… ;) And yes, those really are ascending order of boldness. (But mind you; some people naturally pulls off certain costumes better than other, and there are costumes where you need to be big. :) ).

  • LennyQ

    I am 5’4 and about 225-235 lbs. I told Fanaticon I was going to wear a Vampirella costume. I am now convinced that I will.

  • kira

    What should a black girl wear? I don’t have much money or time on hand for this one. I just found out about the Detroit Comic Con.

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