Jul 14 2009 08:43 PM ET

An Ode to Today's Internet-Based 'Bachelorette' Spoilers

Bachelorette_l The spoilers are dropping like Jillian's dress
On her last date with Reid — oh that girl she's a mess
The spoilers are dropping, so you better stop reading
If you hate TV rumors, how your ears will be bleeding

Some blogs they report that Sir Reid is returning
He once got the boot but his heart is still burning
To a hot total stranger, he could not say 'love'
Thus did not get a rose, when push came to shove

And puppy-eyed Ed? He sparks gab at this junction
And not just because of his erectile dysfunction
If gossip is true at the end he proposes
Good thing silly Jilly kept giving him roses

But what's this we hear about Ed’s secret lover?
He seems too sincere to keep that undercover
We refuse to believe that sweet Ed is a meanie
Instead we shall focus on his hot, green mankini

And the final rumor re: the ABC franchise
Is next season will follow a man self-aggrandized
He's got a hot 12-pack, his body is ripped sin
Meet your new Bachelor! His name may be Kiptyn!

What do you think of the sudden spurt of Bachelorette spoilers? (Reps from ABC and Warner Bros. declined to comment on any of the above.) Do you believe Reid will return, Ed will propose, and Kiptyn will be the next Bachelor? And could this "Ed has a girlfriend" rumor have any weight behind it? Say it ain't so, folks. Also: Team Ed! And further also: Read Kristen Baldwin's GENIUS recap of last night's Bachelorette episode,check out host Chris Harrison's can't-miss behind-the-scenes blog, and then follow me on Twitter @EWMichaelSlezak!

Comments (43 total) Add your comment
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  • norah

    Love it! I have had some serious Micheal S. withdrawls since AI wrapped! Oh yea, and team Ed.

  • Jennifer

    Ed couldn’t hang long enough to do the deed
    Jillian really blew it by not picking Reid

  • Ed Lover

    I have one thing to say: TEAM ED!!!!!!!!!

  • stevenjaba

    Michael – you’re the best. I always agree with you 100% on AI. This… not so much. Ed is boooooorrring. Jill and Reid have chemistry. I hope he comes back and they end up together!

  • Louisa

    Team Reid!!! I’m hoping

  • Mary

    I’m for Team ED. Love him and her together. But I’m ready for the drama….can’t wait to watch!

  • Jp

    TEAM REID!

  • victoria

    I like the idea of Reid returning. I like Ed from the start, but Reid really grew on me after Ed left and then came back. I really dislike the idea of Kiptyn as the next bachelor. He’s just so incredibly dull. I was kind of hoping for a new bachelor, someone we haven’t seen before. If they did choose someone from this season, though, I’m pulling for the always adorable Michael.

  • licia

    TEAM REID!! actually i don’t mind if jillian doesn’t pick reid- then i can have him all to myself!

  • FG

    Maybe the rumored “girlfriend” Ed has is actually Jillian… since they wrapped show taping months ago. If Jillian picked Ed, they may be trying to Secretly see each other (wigs, diguises) until the show’s over. OR, he could be trying to throw-off the Gossip mongers by taking a Friend out and pretending it’s something more serious. However, I’ve never read/heard the actual rumor. Anybody know the Gossip Story about Ed and a possible girlfriend?

  • licia

    TEAM REID!! actually i don’t mind if jillian doesn’t pick reid- then i can have him all to myself!

  • Jacq

    Jillian say it ain’t so…you sent the wrong guy home. Reid was the most real guy there. Holding on hope that Reid does come back and says all the things she needed to hear…and they live happily ever after.

  • Walker’s mom

    loved Ed from the start.Reid grew on me too.Kypton’s family could be a deal breaker. I forsee Jake being the next bachelor,smart,hunky,looking for a serious relationship and scandle free.

  • nancy

    After reading Chris’ blog, I believe the book isnt closed on the chapter of Jillian and Reid. If you read between the lines it seems as if Reid does come back to tell Jillian how he felt. It would explain a little bit of the drama shown in the previews.
    As far as Ed, he sported those bikini shorts oh so well…nice legs!

  • kahuna

    I’m Team Ed. I don’t blame him for not wanting sloppy seconds or maybe even thirds. Ed wants to take care of Jilli. Even in this age of equality, most women still love a man who at least wants to take care of them. It lets a girl know that she is cherished and loved. I hope that Jilli had sense enough to realize that.

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