Gwyneth Paltrow: now renaming other celebrities at her leisure

Gwyneth-Paltrow_l Oh, Gwyneth, you coy little minx, how we do adore your superstar shenanigans! When la Paltrow is not busy buttering her Crisco-legs for Conan or being insulted by Anthony Bourdain, she is conjuring delightful nicknames for her rich and famous friends over on her GOOP "lifestyle" blog.

Case in point: This week's post about cookies (Gwynnie hearts carbs! Swear!), which includes a recipe for Katie Lee Joel's Dark Chocolate Chunk and Dried Cherry Cookies:
"The summer before last, a mutual friend brought the lovely Katie Lee Joel and her husband William over for dinner. Much to my delight, she brought a fresh batch of these cookies with her. I adore the contrast of the dark chocolate and the cherries – heaven."

Billy Joel = William. No joke. I myself have never in my life heard anyone refer to the Piano Man by that name. Then again, I am not an Uptown Girl. Maybe I should ask William Idol? I think he sang at their White Wedding.

Anyway, it's so nice they're all friends. Perhaps her husband, Coldplay frontman Christopher Martin, is off jamming on the Chuck Berry classic "Jonathan Be Good" with the Davidoff Matthews Band? Delightful!

Dear readers, if Gwynnie was your biff, what would she call you? Do tell.


Comments (16 total) Add your comment
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  • Fatima

    Haha this woman is delightfully removed from the real world. Everyone knows the best GOOP post was when she recommended a little hotel you may have heard of…oh yeah The Ritz.

  • Myma

    You meant to say _Charles_ Berry?

  • KR

    Didn’t she randomly start calling Anthony Hopkins Antony when she was giving him an award at the golden globes one year? And kept saying it over and over again. & everybody was like since when is it Antony? But typical hollywood everybody started calling him that.

  • MsDaisy

    How pretentious…oops, precious!

  • Red

    I love Gweynth and find her charming. I think calling him “William” was just her being silly and fun.

  • BrandonK

    She TOTALLY called Anthony Hopkins “Antony”! Everybody was like, “OMG, is that how you really pronounce his name?” Turns out the answer is “only if you’re Gwyneth Paltrow”.

  • Tim

    LOL! Well if Anthony Bourdain (the biggest, most pompous jerk on the planet) hates her, that’s the best reason for the rest of us to love Gwyneth (despite her quirks)!

  • LauraBC

    In season 2 of The Office, Dwight Schrute said Michael’s favorite song was ‘For the Longest Time’ by William Joel… crazy that I remember this.

  • Carl

    Too bad you don’t remember…the faux Ed Sullivan, at the end of the “Tell Her About It” video, calls him “Mr. William Joel.”

  • Linnigee

    Saw her on Conan – and, yes she did have Crisco legs. Those gams were blinding (and silly, IMO). She also didn’t have a whole hellava lot to say – yawn.

  • saucybetty

    “Antony” is how the Brits pronounce Anthony. Maybe she was pulling a Madonna and selectively using British pronunciation?

  • Snarf

    She’d probably call me a pain in the a$$

  • William

    Man, there is nothing she can do that people dont feel the need to comment on. She gets asked her opinion on various topics quite often, so she puts out a newsletter with the idea someone else might find the information helfpul. HOW DARE SHE!! She says Antony instead of Anthony and William instead of Billy (I would imagine, uh…he refers to HIMSELF as William?), OH MY GOD SHE IS CRAZY!! Oh, and her incredibly long and tone legs had so much lotion on them during a television interview – WHAT WAS SHE THINKING?!?!

  • Lux

    I’m glad someone is finally writing about Gwyneth Paltrow because let’s face it: what has happened to her? She has become unbearably pretentious, and she dresses like a hot tranny mess suddenly, with this age-inappropriate minis and ridiculous shoes. She looks and sounds awful, and she has become suddenly irrelevant and kind of desperate IMO. It’s a shame since she used to be really admirable.

  • Lux

    sorry if i posted mult times- the comments verification upgrade sucks on this site now

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