Attention,Lost fans! Planning on seeing Will Ferrell’s comic remake of the kid cultclassic Land of the Lost this weekend? Then here’s something fun for you tothink about—maybe more fun than the movie itself, which hasn’t received thebest of reviews. One of my favorite Lost bloggers out there, a guy who postsunder the handle Vozzek69, has posted a pretty extensive comparison of Lost tothe original Land of the Lost. It’s an entertaining read, and when you get tothe stuff about time loops in the episode called “Circle,” you realize thatLand of the Lost was pretty heady for Saturday morning kid pop. Certainly moreentertaining than your average Smurfs episode.
Andspeaking of my colleague Michael Ausiello, I’m sure many of you have beenreading his ongoing coverage today of the new ABC promo featuring Dominic "Charlie Pace" Monaghanplaying foosball with Patrick Dempsey of Grey’s Anatomy and Courteney Cox andEd O’Neill, each of whom will be headlining new ABC sitcoms this fall. Likemany of you, when I saw the promo, it got my wheels turning—and it reminded me of the Ghost Claire theory I shared with Michael's readers the other day. It also reminded me anew of my promise, as yet unfulfilled, to file one more Doc Jensen column thatoffers some theories about Season 6. Alas, this column is not yet complete—just as the fabled last episode of "Totally Lost" remains unfinished. This epic comic fantasia—involving extravagant specialeffects, a strange film-within-a-film, and a complex narrative structure thatmight be likened to David Lynch’s Lost Highway meets Ed Wood’s Plan 9 FromOuter Space—is still in post-production, and we ain’t letting it out until we getsit right! Although personally, I like the idea of never putting out, and havingit fade away into legend—the fabled “lost episode” of "Totally Lost"…
Nah, we’dnever do that to you. We’ll get you Doc Jensen—which is a sprawling magnumopus—and "Totally Lost" to you…soon. Until then, a sneak peek at the columnitself, which will include a number of scenarios by which the castaways in theDharma/Jughead past will make their way back to the Ajira-era present. Forexample:
SCENARIO NUMBER ONE: DEUS EX JACOBINA!
Jacob saved all the castaways trapped in the past that he hadvisited and touched earlier in their lives. (In other words, everyone exceptMiles and Juliet.) The Incident should have obliterated them. Instead, we willsee that they were instantaneously transported by Jacob’s magic to The Island.When will they materialize? The moment of Jacob’s death. Where will theymaterialize? Negotiable. Perhaps they will all manifest at the site of TheSwan. More likely, they will be scattered across The Island. I like the ideathat they will manifest in the place they were at the moment that they werezapped to the Dharma past. Per this scenario, Jack, Kate, Hurley, and Sayidwould awaken inside the fuselage of Ajira 316 currently parked on Hydra Island,while Sawyer and Jin would find themselves at the old well, not far from theremains of the Four Toed Statue.
DID JULIET CHANGE THE TIMELINE? In thisscenario, the question could be irrelevant, at least for theJacob-touched castaways.
DOC JENSEN LIKES THIS SCENARIO BECAUSE… of itsrelative simplicity. The concept is as easy to grasp as “Beam me up, Scotty.”It could also preserve existing continuity and ongoing character arcs anddoesn’t ask the audience to cramp their brains with time-reboot logic. It alsofeeds one of Lost’s oldest mysteries with new mystique: Why these individuals? Why hasJacob become so invested in their survival, as opposed to all the other Oceanic 815 passengers? It also puts the other, un-selectedcharacters in a poignant perspective: We would now realize that the likes ofJuliet, Faraday, and Miles were really a means to an end for the story’salmighty, big picture chess-players, that they were just pawns whose entire lives were meant toadvance the destinies of The More Important Jacob-Chosen People behind them. The recognitionof their sacrifice could motivate our remaining heroes to action in theendgame to come.
ODDS OF ACCURACY: 3 to 1
ODDS THAT THIS SCENARIO WILL PLEASE FANS IF IT'S ACCURATE…
Well, you tell me! I say the odds are 4 to 1. But use the comments board below to offer your opinion. And check back here next week for eitherthe full column—or my latest “Sorry I’m tardy” apology!
Doc Jensen
Comments (1-15) of 176 Add your comment
I can’t resist the opportunity to post the first comment. I don’t warm to the idea of the touch that means so much. Jacob hasn’t been established enough in the overall scheme of things to accomplish what Doc is suggesting. I prefer to go with overlapping universes.
This was exactly what I thought would happen right after watching the finale. Mainly because of Jacob’s comment “they’re coming”. glad someone else agrees.
I actually LOVE this idea. fits with the whole “we’re all here for a reason” plotline from S1. Jacob selecting this individuals because he knew they would serve some big purpose. All the sacrifices past characters made will ultimately be huge because they brought the “chosen ones” to their ultimate destination, most likely to fight in the upcoming war. plus, this would explain Jack’s intense belief that blowing up the bomb was the right thing to do. I don’t think he completely knew why he was doing it; he just knew it was right.
Thank you Doc! This lost fan would be so happy! Lose the reboot theory it erases the show and every minor character, pretty much everything I love about Lost. Flash forward all the way!
Oh Crap! I totally missed the fact that when Juliet triggered the bomb, Miles would also cease to exist when I watched the last episode. I hope that isn’t true. I do think the selected castaways were “chosen” by Jacob, but not sure if the touch means that much. They are there to because other people in the past have failed and the cycle just keeps going until they get it right.
Great hearing from you Doc. I like your theory and am looking forward to your column and the final episodle of Totally Lost this season.
Hi Doc!
You’re starting to sound like me when a particularly cranky guest demands to know when his table will be ready at my restaurant. I’ve become very adept at giving answers that *seem* like answers without giving a specific time estimate, e.g. “We have a number of tables that have paid, we’re just waiting on them to vacate the premises…” as opposed to “We should have your table in 10 minutes…” It works on stupid people.
Just know that I’m on to you. *grin* Can’t wait to [finally] read!
~Meg (Hostess Extrordinaire)
How about Miles being an Other just like Ethan became one? Miles comes back to the island with his mom after the Incident is over and gets caught in the Ben/Ethan gang.
Nope Doc, sorry. Lost has always been a character-driven story, and has always benefitted from its’ huge supporting cast. Killing off all of them in order to streamline the cast to the bare bones would certainly make the final season easier for the producers to wrap up, but would leave this Lost fan completely unsatisfied. Besides, it’s too much of a Deus Ex Machina. I mean, if they feel like bringing back any character at all, all they have to do is show a flashback where “Oh! We never showed you, but turns out Jacob shook Boone’s hand back in grade school.”
I’ve been thinking along the same lines as I’ve watched several episodes over these last two LOTL marathons (with yet another one tomorrow). There are timeline/timewarp, dual reality circumstances with some mysticism mixed in. All that stuff went whoosh over my head when I was a kid. But I’m loving it now. I’m really interested in reading that comparison piece. Hey, I just watched a repeat of “Par Avion” and was very struck by Mikhail’s comment to Locke: “The John Locke I used to know…” or something like that. Unfortunately Rousseau interrupted before he had a chance to finish. What was he going to say I wonder! What could their history together be? Last thing: it’s beginning to bug me more that Jack hasn’t talked about his sister very much. I know he believes the bomb will reset everything back to the way it was, but Claire’s his sister and she’s missing! Isn’t he worried? All he can think about is losing Kate. C’mon, writers.
Doc, you’ve gotten this all wrong from the moment the ep. was over. Here’s the answer:
1) Jacob is the bad guy, not the good. “Free will” is the traditional argument of the corrupter, not God. His opponent -wants- to kill him but cannot because “angels” don’t have free will.
2) Jacob’s touch means they are the new ‘others’ who come to the island and try to destroy the world. Remember–he touched Locke, too. Except Locke is dead. And that’s the loophole: Jacob can’t be killed by an angel. But an Angel -can- persuade a man to do so, under perfect circumstances.
3. Juliet IS the variable. Jacob didn’t expect her to be there at that moment, so didn’t plan for her. Hence why the episode was called the Constant: JACOB is the constant. Juliet, the variable. Her setting off the bomb -will- change the future. For perhaps the first time.
Actually, I hate this Idea. Sorry, Doc, usually I track with you, and I like the timeline reboot WAY better than this. It just feels way too convenient. Suddenly they all just…reappear on the island in a 2007 that some of them have never visited? (Remember, Sawyer and Jin never made it past 2004.) It wouldnt make any sense…er, it would make less sense than usual.
My theory is similar to yours. Jacob does bring them somewhere but he brings them to the black rock ship in the 1800s. Jacob and the Man in black may have been talking about them on that beach. I think the final battle will be fought in the 1800s.
That whole scene where JAcob and his enemy are talking about the ship coming to the Island and saying “You brought them here didn’t you?” Was about JAck and the gang.
People always forget me… I’m still in the present!!!! What happens to me if they did change time? Does that mean I’m a goner. And what about Vincent? Rose and Bernard? One more thing. Why do I have Charlie’s ring?
Perhaps the ones that Jacob touched will be on his side, and the ones he didn’t will be on the Man in Black’s side.
Almost done scrubbing those toilets, Workman?