The Axis of Evil announced a Girls Just Want to Have Fun remake this morning. Excuse me?!?! No. This remake can go to hell. And I wouldn’t watch it there, either. So wrong. So awful. Miley Cyrus will probably be in this. Oh god. I can’t handle it. I’m freaking out. What if we don’t make it to the DTV auditions?! I didn’t bring a gym bag!!! But seriously. There are SO MANY essential 1985-y elements of this movie that can and should never translate to present day. A sampling….
‘GIRLS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN’ DETAILS OF WHICH EVEN THE SLIGHTEST ALTERATION WOULD BE SACRILEGE
–"Dancing in Heaven (Orbital Be-Bop)" presented as the hippest jam in all the land (press play below)
–Helen Hunt’s grasshopper hat…and her bouffant ‘do as she’s wheeled out on a horse-drawn carriage as Our New Miss Dance TV
–Sarah Jessica Parker’s collection of ridiculously high-cut long-sleeved leotards
–Natalie Sands’ perm
–Natalie Sands in general
–Convenient availability of incredibly beefy gym-rat *FEMALEBODYBUILDERS* with tons of free time to lift automobiles with one armin an effort to help spread the word about the plan to "Wake Up The Neighborhood" atNatalie Sands’ coming-out party. (And everyone else in the invitations scene.)
–Male lead who looks so much like Blossom-era Joey Lawrence that when you watched the film during the early ’90s, you honestly just assumed it was him. (It was Lee Montgomery.)
–The ridiculous notion that a TV show of just the same couples dancing over and over would actually work. As. If.
–"Velcro. Next to the Walkman and Tab, it’s the coolest invention of the 20th Century." (Thanks Robyn!)
What an incomplete list! But I guess I’m finished. At least now I know which DVD I’ll be watching next time I’m not sober. And now I know how the normals feel whenever their beloved classic ’80s movies start getting the remake rumors — pretty much once a day at this point. I don’t know, dawg. For me for you…this one has finally crossed the line.
Annie! I am so with you on this! I grew up in the 80s and watched this movie (on VHS mind you) at almost every sleepover I went to. My fave quote from the movie, which just sums up its perfect 80s-ness:
“Velcro. Next to the Walkman and Tab it’s the coolest invention of the 20th Century”
This movie should be untouchable!!!
Very important reason – Pre-Brenda Shannon Doherty
As someone who watched this at every single sleepover growing up and still proudly owns the soundtrack on cassette, I had the exact same reaction. NOOOOO!!!
i’ll be even more pissed if they follow through w/ that adventures in babysitting remake.
no seriously, hell will be raised.
2 words. Hell no! I’m with you on this Annie-I have so much love for this movie I would HATE to see what Hollywood would do to it now.
Noooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Doesn’t anyone in Hollywood have an original idea or thought?!?!?! C’mon!
Not the biggest fan of the original, but I agree that people need to just keep their paws off of films that are ingrained in their time period (If Weird Science gets remade, I will commit some sort of heinous act of defiance)!
More important reasons – a prepubescent Jonathan Silverman and Richard Blade – who was my favorite top 10 video host in the 80′s (sorry Casey Kasam)
Annie – OMG! This is the worst idea on the PLANET!! Don’t Do It Hollywood A-holes!
Let me add a few more scenarios which would never work in the modern day:
- Tune-in Tokyo (sexual assault now!)
- no one would know what a schwin 10 speed is!
- “Do you always do what you’re told? Oh God, you do” (promotes children’s bad behavior nowadays!)
- NO one would believe that a person could make it on a dance TV show simply by swinging on a pole and ripping through a large piece of paper!
- and finally they cannot use Janey’s number 555-4102, as I used to dial that over and over as a child so much that I still remember at age 28
U suck hollywood!!
This would be straight up sacrilidge. I think I would actually picket this!! My 8-year-old will just have to rent the old one. UGH! And yes, Dancing in Heaven is the rockingest jam in history. “Technique” aint bad either.
This CAN NOT happen!!! This will cause so many 80′s kids to have a complete meltdown, including me! My sister e-mailed this to me, and I didn’t even watch the video, because I am at work, but now I am walking around the office singing “Dancing in Heaven!” lol. This will always be one of my all-time favorites. Somebody stop them!!!
I concur – why you would remake this classic 80s film is beyond me. Just come up with a different concept that involves dancing or something! I adored the original. And practically peed my pants when David Duchovny actually quoted the “tab and the walkman” line once during a late-night TV interview for X-files in the 90s. So many memories…
I want “Dancing in Heaven” played at my funeral, I love this song so much. They CAN’T remake this movie. Why mess with fromage perfection?
Of all the things that are really, truly wrong with Hollywood, this takes the cakes. Hell to the Naw!! Leave my beloved classic alone!!!
Nice to see I wasn’t overreacting. That Velcro/Tab/Walkmen quote is too perfect. (I added it above)