'The Real Housewives of New York': Viva Gloria!

Things degenerated fast in the second hour of the reunion. Andy gave up trying to moderate, looking alternately amused and fatigued by the sniping women. At various points, while Ramona’s head spun around and she caterwauled about not having crazy eyes, he looked like he had given up and resigned himself to doing checklists in his head of upcoming grooming appointments and spinning classes.

Kelly was granted too much air time, exhaling dodo bird nonsense like "cartwheels have no price" and "I don’t want to be in negative town" and that she was voted the most charitable person in her "area" when she was 12 years old. She tsked tsked Bethenny, faux-lamenting the fact that "we could have been best friends, you and I are exactly the same. You’re brunette, I’m blonde." 1) You two would never be friends. 2) You’re cold and always seem to have woken up from a sleeping pill-induced doze. Bethenny is raw and emotional and could benefit from solid meal and a solid 8 hours of sleep. 3) You have brown hair! And why are we talking about hair?!

Kelly tried pushing her Bohemian schtick, bringing up again her Dodge Ram and gypsy lifestyle, but the women pounced. Jill reminded her that a $15 million house in the Hamptons does not an earthy hippie make and Bethenny took her to task for blowing up her journalistic endeavors. "We’re not confusing you with Stone Phillips," Bethenny cracked. "You write a three-sentence column about Matthew Modine saying how good you look in a miniskirt." Zing! You know things are bad when Ramona when has a moment of clarity, turning to Kelly at one point and announcing "You’re like the Scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz! You’re delusional!" (The poor Scarecrow, being unfairly brought into this mess.)

But it’s exhausting watching folks gang up on someone, no matter howmuch they have it coming. Then Alex, who was tight-lipped and politethroughout the entire hour, came to the rescue and cut through thefinger-pointing and hollering. Explaining away the whole "I’m up here,you’re down here" mess, she said, in a tone often heard in couplescounseling or pre-school, that Kelly had been talking about behaviornot social hierarchy. Then she turned to Kelly and said that had thewoman managed to be less inarticulate this whole ballyhoo could havebeen avoided. Alex, you shined this reunion. Brava.

Ramona called Bobby boring. (Watch it, bitch. Nobody puts Bobby inthe corner.) The other side of the couch called Mario a spotlight hog.We saw not one but two replays of him leering some innocent womenpassing by him on the street. The women meanly made LuAnn cry by goingafter her air of superiority. Yes, she should be tweaked for heroccasional pretentiousness but they kept going and going after her andRamona kept bringing up her broken marriage until LuAnn’s chest wasradish red and she had to hide behind a mini pillow. Kelly cried foreverybody, including Andy—"Andy. Seriously."—to ‘Stahp, stahp’.Bethenny unnecessarily imitated Kelly saying ‘Stahp. Stahp."

Just when I worried that I’d never be able to find my way out ofnegative town, Andy introduced a clip of Jill’s blessing of a momGloria. Jill cried, her mascara smearing, and said that Gloria would behorrified by all of the women’s behavior during the Reunion. And so,from afar, the glorious Gloria nudged the chastened women into line andeverybody said good night.

What did you folks think? Did your ears start ringing after one toomany of Ramona’s rants? Did you a little bit want Bethenny to ease offon her biting attacks? Can you believe how marvelously Alex handledherself throughout the reunion? Can you ever forgive Ramona for socavalierly dismissing our Bobby? No!

 

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  • Ruben!

    This was by far, the most enjoyable season of Real Housewives ever! Between Bethenny’s hilarious quips and unbelievable cool, Kelly’s ridiculous epic tragic nonsensical confrontations, Luann’s obliviousness to her own pretentiousness, and Jill’s wonderful, occassionally overboding, jewish mother personality I could not have been happier. THANK YOU HOUSEWIVES!!!

  • betsy

    I was embarrassed for them. I hope they watch this episode and go hide somewhere.

  • commonsense

    Someone please drop a bomb on them or at least give them swine flu.Simon’s clothes are more intelligent.

  • chloe

    I can’t stand Kelly, she does think that she is better than everyone else and the only reason Alex came to her defense is because Alex is sooooo worried about climbing the “right” social ladder. I love Jill and Bethany. I think Bethany out of all of them is the most real and I admire her, I also admire Ramona for her work ethic and yes she’s a little nuts, but once she explained the way she grew up, i understand her more, she is still an insecure little girl and needs to prove herself. I was abused as was my mom by my Dad and after yrs of therapy I have recognized my choices cleary. Kick Kelly off and she was a pathetic liar when she said what she meant to Bethany, Please lady were not dumb.

  • Mandy

    I hope Kelly never comes back.

  • Lin

    In a show full of big mouths and egos, it was glaring last night how the class of the bunch really is Alex. She actually listens and organizes thoughts BEFORE she speaks, as opposed to blurting out an insult louder than everybody else just to get heard. I absolutely LOVED the way she, with a smile on her face, essentially told Kelly how dumb she is by saying she just doesn’t “articulate” things well. And it went right through deer-in-the-headlights Kelly’s airhead like a missile! Priceless. No surprise well-mannered, smart, articulate Alex was raised here in middle America, where people are actually polite AND intelligent at the same time.

  • Eve

    This reunion gave me a headache. They all behaved very badly, including the beloved Jill and Bethenny…….the shining star was Alex. She behaved like a lady, and did it with great ease. Bravo to her!!
    Eve

  • Housewife In the Desert

    Oh, let’s be honest…Kelly is WAY out of the other women’s league…and while technically Bethanny is NOT a “housewife”, she “gets” the others and their personality quirks (and there are soooo many delicious ones!) that she is an honorary one, and the show wouldn’t be as fun without her. But the show without Kelly? It would be much better – less confusion, less attempts at forced meetings for drama…there’s good catfights and then uncomfortable catfights… LuAnn needs to accept that her perfect bubble has burst, that life goes on, and that maybe she IS down at everyone else’s level now…yes, dear, you can also get lied to…move on, focus on your kids, make a new best friend and carry on. Let’s see more of Alex & Simon’s attempts at “parenting”…TRAINWRECK! Now there’s something to laugh about…

  • Kate

    I had to agree with the other housewives that Kelly is delusional. I’ve been watching her on the show, and finally realized she lacks picking up on social cues. She says sentences that literally make so sense. Wow. Poor girl, I’m sure she means well, but she’s really out of touch with reality.

  • Dee

    I just hope that someone replaces Kelly.

  • Aaron

    I bought Manhattanites, the new movie starring Alex McCord, and she’s quite funny in it. She is my favorite.

  • To Lin

    Obviously people in middle America aren’t all that polite or intelligent you woulnd’t have insulted all the people from the Northeast. Trust me, I’ve lived in the Northeast my whole life, are there are very intelligent and kind people here. This is television and networks are smart enough to hire people who are going to boost ratings. “Nice” and “intellegent” doesn’t cut it.

  • icantstopwatching

    What will we do without our Real Housewives of New York fix? Ah, well, there’s always the Real Housewives of New Jersey and the colorful bunch of eccentrics at Bravo’s Fashion Show. (Here’s last night’s ep: http://www.bravotv.com/full-episodes)

  • icantstopwatching

    Oops, that link should be http://www.bravotv.com/full-episodes

  • sm

    Kelly should marry Coach from Survivor. They could live happily together in their own delusional world.

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