It’s not too late to dive into ABC’s quicksand-like cesspool of sequins. Season 8′s penultimate performance round begins tonight at 8 ET….liiiiiiiiive! Below, a crash course in Dancing With the Stars’ final four contestants…
Shawn Johnson: Olympic gymnast/tiny dancer. She and partner Mark Ballas have taken to calling each other "baby," but it may be because she’s only 17 and the producers WILL NOT LET US FORGET IT. Appears in dictionary next to the word "spry." Smiley. Seems to have no concept of how badly the stylists consistently murder her hair. Routines would look phenomenal on a balance beam. Standout dance: Cha cha cha.
Gilles Marini: Naked guy from the Sex and the City movie. (Is what Kara DioGuardi would call a "package artist.") Exhibits even less desire to wear clothes on TV than in the movie. Occasionally opts for sheer shirts as a middle ground. Tall. French. Hot. Humble. Can actually move hips. No one has any idea how popular he is. Could he be going home tomorrow instead of Ty? Standout dance: Argentine Tango.
Ty Murray: Cowboy. Adorable personality. Wears extra-furry leopard print robe at home and allowed this to be filmed. Cowboy. Prefers routines during which he can "hold on" to his partner Chelsie. Hardworking. Earnest as heck! Relatable. Cute. Cowboy. Performed hilarious, off-rhythm "solo" in which he "shook his hips" for his wife, Jewel. Cute. But. Come on. Can’t really dance. Standout dance: Lindy Hop.
Melissa Rycroft (pictured): Got dumped on national television, and don’t think they’ll let us forget that either! This season’s Brooke Burke: great dancer, hot-bodied, totally pleasant, [zzzzz]. Pretends to be shy in front of the cameras — and, to be fair, this is only her third reality show, so all the attention must be rough. Long-suffering partner Tony Dovolani may have a stroke if they lose. Standout dance: Samba.
Who are you rooting for? Who’s going home? And are you playing the DWTS drinking game correctly by taking a shot every time Samantha Harris burrowed one hand into the inexplicable pockets of her expensive evening gown?
More on Dancing With the Stars:
Carrie Ann Inaba’s blogs: Week 9, Week 8, Week 7, Week 6, Week 5, Week 4, Week 3, Week 2
Last week’s ‘DWTS’ elimination recap: Booted Booty
‘DWTS’: Season 8′s Crazy Costume Watch!
now that Lil Kim is gone I’m rooting for Shawn or Gilles in that order. She’s too cute he’s too hot.
Shawn Johnson is my new favorite – she nailed her performance tonight. Ty is a cutie but thinkin it’s time for him to go… hate to say it.
I take that back… Gilles is God
I’m totally for Shawn. She deserves to win. The show was good but too long. Stick to the dancing & forget all that extra stuff.
I went to vote on the ABC website. What a bunch of jerks. You have to register to vote, and they want your date of birth and email address as well. Also, you agree to allow email spam from them.
On top of that, if you vote by cell phone AT&T charges 50 cents to vote, so ABC is getting at least half that.
What a bunch of jerks
I worry for Shawn or Melissa after tonights dances…the question is how many votes is Ty getting?
Gilles and Cheryl will win because they both dance passionately, which is the KEY to great dancing!!!
Your body has to move with the music as if you are in water…
The movement, expression and passion is a winning combination that Gilles and Cheryl have.
I tossed one of my votes to Shawn because I think she’s great and deserves to be in the finals. But all of my others went to Gilles – he has been fantastic all season and was just amazing last night. For some reason, I am not a fan of Melissa’s dancing, even though it is beautiful, but she definitely deserves to be in the finals – not Ty.
Gilles is not only handsome he is hot and sofisticated at the same time. He is a great dancer, just perfect.Bravissimo!
It’s Melissa’s to lose. She has been the ABC favorite since the beginning, guilty conscience I guess. Can she really be that sweet (4 guys dumped her or is that 5 including Jason!) or is she a spoiled brat in shy girl trappings? If she doesn’t mess up in the final 3 same song competition she will be in the final two and has a rabid fan base that will assure her the trophy. If she isn’t in the final 2, then Gilles wins.
Melissa is the best. She deserves to win. She is going to win that trophy, you guys will see it.
What are you guys talking about? We all know that Melissa and Tony are going to win season 8 of dancing with the stars. Melissa is so dedicated to dancing and she never gives up always comes out each week and improves her scores. She is a true dancer. Gilles, Shawn, and Ty all suck. And by the way Melissa and Tony are a hot couple together and they look good dancing together.SO when it’s time to vote, vote for Melissa and Tony- the hottest couple.
OH GOD doesn’t anyone think of anything but getting laid? All I heard from you Gilles fans are: hot sizzle and yummy good, WELL GUESS WHAT? THAT IS HOW I EAT MY STEAKS! NOT MY MEN! The best MAN was sent home last night! He wasn’t the best dancer but the BEST MALE I HAVE SEEN IN A VERY LONG TIME. He is everything every women wished she had for a husband! Now that TY is gone, Melissa is the BEST DANCER! Gilles was on his knees most of the dance re-watch it folks! Melissa was ON HER FEET DANCING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No comparison!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!