Susan Boyle revealed as big, lying boy-kisser: Share your feelings of betrayal here!

Susanboyle_l_2I’ve remained pretty aggressively on the sidelines of this whole Susan Boyle phenomenon, but when I learned courtesy of Extra! reporter (and former Simon Cowell spit-sharer) Terri Seymour that Ms. Boyle was just employing her "wicked sense of humor" when she said she’s never been kissed, I was shocked. SHOCKED.

Do you mean to tell me, Susan Boyle (if that is your real name) that not only did you appear on British television and, through a once-in-a-lifetime combination of luck, moxie, and a smattering of above-average vocal talent, force that proud country (nay, the world) to violently alter its belief system w/r/t judging people based solely on appearance, but now you have the audacity to reveal that you are not in fact the virginal spinster you (and the producers of the British television programme) claimed you were, and that you have indeed pressed your lips to those of another? Dear God, woman. Have you no shame?

Think of the children: We’d just now gotten them used to the idea that it was okay to be themselves; that money and beauty aren’t more important than self-respect and determination; that what matters in life is not the desperate quest for power and sex but rather the quiet appreciation of small gifts and blessings; that if you’ve never been kissed it doesn’t mean you’re unworthy of love. And now we have to tell them that you’re basically no better than those hussies on Gossip Girl? How dare you.

And if you lied about that, what else aren’t you telling us? You had a record deal with Def Jam but they dropped you? You’re Piers Morgan’s ex-nanny’s third cousin twice removed? You’re not actually British??? Oh, Susan Boyle. I just don’t know what to believe anymore. PopWatchers, help me. I am adrift. And tonight, I fear the tigers are coming, and their voices won’t be soft as thunder anymore.

Comments (90 total) Add your comment
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  • Adam

    Ok she lied, but I thought the “never been kissed” thing was way overblown. No big deal, she talented, no matter what she looks like, or who she did or didn’t kiss.

  • KM

    You crack me up!

  • Chappel

    I’ll keep in mind that this tidbit comes from someone who thought George Hamilton was in the Beatles.

  • kelbo

    I don’t give a crap where this woman came from….she has a killer voice!

  • mehere

    She actually said that “just kidding” stuff last week, elsewhere. She also said, elsewhere, that she was koey at the audition because that is how she deals with being nervous. She’s also said her new clothes are because when she saw herself on tv “I looked like a garage!” and wanted to “look smart”. Who wouldn’t? No tiger here. Afan.

  • mehere

    the word “koey” in my previous post was sposed to read “jokey”. :)

  • Nerwen Aldarion

    Ummmm Who Cares???? (PS I only found out who Susan Boyle is today!)

  • Nix

    I am agog! I am aghast! Is Marius in love at last? I’d never seen him ooh and ahh! Ahaha!

    • Geovani

      The current glaobl warming is the governments fault. When the scientists were screaming about glaobl cooling, the government forced Detroit to build SUV’s and used evil methods to get buyers to rush to the dealers and purchase them. The government also forced air conditioner manufacturers to make products that leaked freon. Aerosol manufactureres were required to use propelant containing CFC’s.Along the way, they were able to throw untold profits to the oil companies who provided fuel for the SUV’s, made large campaign donations to politicians and paid sinfull bonuses to their directors.It’s too bad the government wasn’t around during all the ice ages. They could have ended them much earlier.The government saved the world from glaobl cooling and the scientists are still not satisfied. What do they want now, more glaobl cooling?

  • Spartan6980

    So what if she lied about never been kissed, who in the world would really get dissapointed about this??? Do you plan to send her “hate mail” now? whatever…..

  • jaime

    She is a great singer…rock on SUSAN! We all lie…

  • William

    She’s not British. She’s Scottish. It’s a good thing you get paid by the word and not by the fact.

  • Jon, Japan

    Ever think that maybe she said that just to play into the part that the audience (around the world) had already forced her into by merely looking at her?
    A little cynicism to combat cynicism anyone?
    Seriously, some reporters will do anything to slander others.

  • just me

    you’re funny!

  • Jon, Japan

    On a side note, how did you even become a reporter? EW should be ashamed to have some third rate blogger like you putting up garbage like this.
    It may get hits but I sure as heck will be telling my friends how crappy EW’s reporters are.
    P.S. She’s Scottish, or did you miss that part? …

  • Krorg

    SFU !!!! Who cares about this dribble? It’s people like this journo that give journalists a bad name.

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