We learned several important lessons from last night’s episode of The Celebrity Apprentice. First, Scott Ian from Anthrax (and those VH1 shows) is BFF with Annie Duke. Second, Clint Black makes me feel incredibly, painfully uncomfortable whenever he speaks — not just when he makes awkward sexual innuendos in viral videos. Third, according to Donald Trump, Sandra Bullock must have married Jesse James because he is good in bed (not because he’s level-headed, down-to-earth, and funny). Fourth, according to Annie Duke, Annie Duke gives a great blow job.
After last week’s awkward one-and-a-half challenges, we got a juicydouble elimination last night. The first half of the show finished upthe previous episode’s auction debacle, in which each team auctionedoff five pieces from Ivanka Trump’s jewelry line. As you may recall,Annie spent pretty much all of last week’s episode (and a couple of theprevious ones) talking about how she had so many rich friends whom shecould convince to donate in the next fundraising challenge, and blessher heart, the Athena project manager actually followed through. Herbig-spending friends showed up and dropped some major dollars on theshowy jewelry pieces Melissa picked out. And man, does Annie know howto talk people into doing what she wants them to — her auctioneertactics included calling out her friends by name (like theaforementioned Scott Ian), shaming them into bidding more, and puttingher head in their laps when she wasn’t satisfied with what they wereoffering. Hey, whatever works, right?
KOTU, on the other hand, seemed doomed from the start of thechallenge, when Natalie went to pick out the jewelry and returned withdainty, understated pieces that really didn’t stand out on a runway.Though KOTU raised a bunch of money and pooled it to bid on the leastexpensive piece (so they’d make the most profit), they didn’t getanyone to actually attend the auction and bid on the items. So whenClint opened bidding and all you could hear was crickets — painful.Then, when he started cracking unfunny jokes in his robotic,emotionless voice, really painful. Like, I had to look awaybecause I was so uncomfortable. Thank goodness Joan popped her head outand brought some life to the room. Clint was failing so spectacularlyand Joan’s comedy was such a welcome breath of fresh air, however, thatI couldn’t help but wonder if either the whole thing was planned, orshe was setting Clint up to fail.
In the boardroom, Annie and Joan had a pretty intense fight, duringwhich Joan called Annie out on being two-faced (probably), having ahuge ego (definitely), taking credit for everything (also definitely),and being just like Hitler (um…definitely not). After their blow-up,we found out that Athena won the challenge by raising $153,000 and KOTUonly raised $92,000. Though I don’t think Joan was a bad projectmanager, it didn’t seem like anyone on her team really screwed up. Whenthat happens, the project manager usually goes home, right? Well, notif you’re BFF with Donald Trump. Since the editing had focused heavilyon the jewelry choice last week, it wasn’t a surprise when Trump sentNatalie packing instead of Joan.
The second challenge saw the contestants create a new dish andmarketing campaign for the Schwan’s frozen food LiveSmart line. Athena,led by Jesse, made turkey and spinach meatballs with gluten-free pasta.KOTU, led by Herschel, made Asian orange chicken. In the boardroom, wefound out that though the main dishes both turned out well, KOTU’syogurt dessert was an unfreezable packaging nightmare and didn’t reallymeasure up to Athena’s dish. We also sat through a weird interlude whenDonald wondered why Sandra Bullock married Jesse. It couldn’t haveanything to do with the fact that he’s got a great personality andcharm, right? No, Donald says it’s because Jesse’s probably great inbed. Coincidentally, I began to wonder how Donald got such a hot modelto marry him. It couldn’t have anything to do with his piles of money,which I imagine he swims in, Scrooge McDuck-like, on a nightly basis,right?
Though I was rooting for Clint to get the ax (he just creeps meout), Donald ended up firing Herschel, who had lost as project managerfor the second time. Clearly Joan wasn’t going, since she’s Trump’sBFF, and Clint wasn’t going, since he causes so much drama, so Herschelwas the logical choice. Plus, he didn’t really do much, and seemed toskate by under the radar on the other challenges.
What did you think of last night’s two firings? Did Trump make theright choices? Are you on Team Joan or Team Annie? Did you also wonderwhy one of KOTU’s models was wearing only underwear? Are you amused bythe fact that Annie always has to have the last word (”I told you thegluten-free would work!”)? What did you think of the previews for nextweek’s episode?
Must List Live: See why Dalton Ross says Celebrity Apprentice is the greatest bad show in TV history!
Comments (1-30) of 115 Add your comment
I love this show. It’s bad yes, but I can’t help but to like it. I thought 2 hours would be too much, but it isn’t.
http://tvdonewright.com/2009/04/20/tv-tonight-monday-april-20th-2009/
I’m sorry but Joan has to stay for as long as possible. She is hilarious on this show and I’m not talking about her jokes (although she is pretty funny). Her dislike for Annie is sooo great! Annie shouldn’t be compared to Hitler, but she is annoying as heck! Herschel did deserve to go home because of the dessert alone. I will miss him if only for his reaction the video that Clint Black made for All.
Annie’s gross- such a narcissist. That’s why she’s going to win, because she’s just like Trump. does Clint Black strike anyone else as being older than Joan? That guy just doesn’t seem to have a clue. Joan is hilarious because she’s so passionate, yet during the actual challenges she comes off as incredibly level-headed. I’d love for her to win.
I’ve said since the beginning that I bet it will be a Joan and Melissa finale. The way Donald was kissing Joan’s arss last night it may really end up that way. Although, Annie is a fierce competitor. Clint Black is just creepy and should go.
I think last night the show clearly took the ugly inevitable turn it takes every season (Celebrity or not) and had the Donald firing contestants based on their television “drama” value rather than their overall implicity in losing the task. And he did it not once but twice in a single episode. That’s one dirty episode if you ask me which noxiously culminated in the should-have-been-tossed-long-ago Clint Black not even having the humility or unscumbaginess to shake a fired Herschel’s hand as the pair exited the boardroom.
“If I ever got thrown under a bus, my father would get mad at me for letting myself get thrown under a bus.” You tell ‘em, Ivanka.
Babulah – that would be an interesting finale actually. Personally, I don’t think Melissa did much of anything in the 2nd challenge. If it were anyone other than Joan as PM they would have gone. Joan should have picked the jewelry & let Natalie do the fashion. She should have saved Clint immediatley when he struggled. She was a lousy PM but can you imagine how boring the last few episodes would be if it were Natalie, Herschel and Brandy? I still think Annie has a shot at this if she continues to raise so much money. Maybe it will be a three way finale.
You don’t get frozen yogurt when you freeze yogurt!
Love Annie. Think Joan is absolutely unbearable. I would love to punch both Rivers women in the face after last night’s tantrum. At least Annie is playing to win: remember, people, this is a GAME. The goal is to win at all costs. Like her or not, I saw Annie hand her charity a check for a quarter of a million bucks last night.
I think Trump is keeping Joan around for the drama factor, and also to set her up for a shocking firing to add to the drama. He respects Duke the most, that much is obvious. Duke is the most business-like, and has done well and every task she has been given.
She earned alot of points for not responding to Rivers personal attacks. What is the saying – people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones? She really is not that funny on the show – very annoying. Even her own daughter is getting sick of her dementia-induced rants.
Team Joan. I am not a fan of Joan’s (in fact I think she was not funny and embarrassed herself with her latter-year’s red carpet interviews), but think she was right both times when she was upset with Clint and then with Annie. And, Joan works hard and is smart. Melissa understands better than her mother the nature of this game, namely that Annie is being two-faced and trying to get rid of the stronger competitors. Annie knows that if she faced off against Brandi in the final round, Annie would cream her. I’m thinking the final will be some mix of Jesse, Joan and Annie. Melissa and Brandi are darkhorses, and Clint will be the next to go. I just wish Trump would pair Clint up with Annie next week – that would result in some fireworks.
Joan is an evil evil woman, she and her daughter are so vicious.
The things out of her mouth are heinous.
I’m on Team Jesse! It looks like he’s headed back to Kotu, so here’s hoping they lose so Clint can finally say goodbye. I liked him so much better when he was a country singer who I didn’t really know much about except that he’s married to Lisa Hartman (no, I don’t listen to country music). And it makes me wonder, why didn’t Piers grill Clint about his Hollywood connection? I don’t think he brought in $5 in the auction. I was most interested in seeing how much Jesse was going to take from Piers before he jumped over the table to punch him out. The look on his face was the closest I’ve seen him to angry, and I watch Monster Garage, too. Anyway, I cannot believe how many challenges have been undermined, sabotaged and just plain screwed up by Clint and he’s still around. Mr. Trump, if you read this, can his sorry butt. He’s dead weight, man!
I think its telling that all of Annie’s friends came and donated huge amounts of money. Joan and Melissa has been in Hollywood for eons, and yet they can’t get a single rich person to donate? That speaks volumes about what kind of people they are.
I think its telling that all of Annie’s friends came and donated huge amounts of money. Joan and Melissa has been in Hollywood for eons, and yet they can’t get a single rich person to donate? That speaks volumes about what kind of people they are.
I think its telling that all of Annie’s friends came and donated huge amounts of money. Joan and Melissa has been in Hollywood for eons, and yet they can’t get a single rich person to donate? That speaks volumes about what kind of people they are.
They have to keep Joan on, she’s the only real star they have!
I LOVE JOAN RIVERS! She just cracks me up!!!!! She’s GOT to be in the finale and it’s clear that Trump has such a soft spot for her! If it doesn’t come down to Joan and Meliss, that he’ll find a way to make it Joan and Annie. And Melissa’s commentary on Annie makes me bust a gut too. I did NOT think I’d enjoy Team Rivers on the Apprentice, but man, was I wrong! And Jessie is such a doll. The remaining three – eh. Not too fantastic… Great season of Celeb Apprentice. Thank you Joan!
I think part of the reason that Annie’s friends are more willing to donate, is that they are gamblers! Maybe they are a bit looser with the money they have won in a game…as opposed to a lot of actors who aren’t working lately and, probably, already donate to their own charities. Just a theory…but how are they gonna say no to a girl who puts her head in their lap and claims to give good BJ?
Joan Rivers may not have chaired the money-winning charity effort last night, but, more importantly, she’s keeping the show in the black: she’s providing the most entertainment and keeping non-fans like me coming back for more. Also, I knew she was really smart (you can’t be dumb and a successful comedian) but I didn’t know what a savvy businesswoman she is. That realization just blows me away!
I think Annie is just like last year’s winner. Cunning and ruthless. And has a superego.
I am sorry but Joan Rivers is just unhinged. Melissa still hasn’t cut the umbilical cord. Annie is not hitler not even close. I think Joan should look in a mirror when telling someone their ego is bigger then they are. The only reason Joan wasn’t fired is because she brings drama to the show. She should have picked the jewelry and she should have been the auctioneer. I loved it when Phil Hellmuth called Annie and ratted out Natalie. I thought it was great that she called him, but really get your own friends to bring money. Jesse may have dodged a bullet by winning the food challenge but he has to bring in money soon. I have never liked Clint Black and think he is just plain creepy. He thinks he is all that and a bag of chips. I love country music but lets face is Kenny Chensey is way better and more popular then Clint. I hope Annie wins it all.
All the Clint Black hate here is amazing. Annie is a self absorbed ego maniac, but Clint is “creepy”? Must be because he’s a country singer and 90% of EW bloggers are country music hating liberals.
Every time Melissa says something about how Annie use to hate Brandi it makes me think that Melissa is jealous that the spotlight is not on her anymore.
As for Joan commenting that Annie = Hitler, that is very offensive to someone who has lost family members in WWII.
I love Joan she makes the show entertaining. Melissa I don’t so much care about. I want Jesse or Joan to win. I’m getting scared that Annie might win you know ” I’m so wonderful, so fast at cooking so great at everything I’m such a great Mom and lover” Gross!!! Did we really need to know that she even grossed out her BFF Brande.
Jesse is married to a super rich movie star with many connections and he never brings in money. Strange.
The only bad thing about this show is Trump, and what I really hate is hos sycophantic he is to the celebs. Specifically, last night when he made a reference to Clint being “the biggest thing in country music,” I was saying to myself, “The man hasn’t even had a hit in the last decade! No ‘big star’ would have time to devote to this show.” Of course, I’m sure Trump doesn’t listen to country music, but the way he babies some people, like Clint and Rodman, is sickening. And despite what Ivanka said, her dad would have a hissy if anyone spoke negatively about her, or tried to manipulate her in a “game” such as this.
To Dan: I’ve always been a fan of Clint Blacks music…however, I never really saw him live/talking/dealing with other people….and I do find him somewhat “creepy” for lack of a better term.
“You must be good in bed”
Quote of the night!
http://tvdonewright.com/2009/04/20/tv-tonight-monday-april-20th-2009/
Marguerite, Clint did bring in money. They got $83,500 or something for that one piece, $55,000 of it was Herschel’s, and the rest I assume was Clint’s. He said he’d be able to bring in around $30k.
Pete, maybe Jesse’s a proud guy who wants to use his own talents and skills on the show, instead of relying on the talents, skills, and pocketbook of his wife?