We learned several important lessons from last night’s episode of The Celebrity Apprentice. First, Scott Ian from Anthrax (and those VH1 shows) is BFF with Annie Duke. Second, Clint Black makes me feel incredibly, painfully uncomfortable whenever he speaks — not just when he makes awkward sexual innuendos in viral videos. Third, according to Donald Trump, Sandra Bullock must have married Jesse James because he is good in bed (not because he’s level-headed, down-to-earth, and funny). Fourth, according to Annie Duke, Annie Duke gives a great blow job.
After last week’s awkward one-and-a-half challenges, we got a juicydouble elimination last night. The first half of the show finished upthe previous episode’s auction debacle, in which each team auctionedoff five pieces from Ivanka Trump’s jewelry line. As you may recall,Annie spent pretty much all of last week’s episode (and a couple of theprevious ones) talking about how she had so many rich friends whom shecould convince to donate in the next fundraising challenge, and blessher heart, the Athena project manager actually followed through. Herbig-spending friends showed up and dropped some major dollars on theshowy jewelry pieces Melissa picked out. And man, does Annie know howto talk people into doing what she wants them to — her auctioneertactics included calling out her friends by name (like theaforementioned Scott Ian), shaming them into bidding more, and puttingher head in their laps when she wasn’t satisfied with what they wereoffering. Hey, whatever works, right?
KOTU, on the other hand, seemed doomed from the start of thechallenge, when Natalie went to pick out the jewelry and returned withdainty, understated pieces that really didn’t stand out on a runway.Though KOTU raised a bunch of money and pooled it to bid on the leastexpensive piece (so they’d make the most profit), they didn’t getanyone to actually attend the auction and bid on the items. So whenClint opened bidding and all you could hear was crickets — painful.Then, when he started cracking unfunny jokes in his robotic,emotionless voice, really painful. Like, I had to look awaybecause I was so uncomfortable. Thank goodness Joan popped her head outand brought some life to the room. Clint was failing so spectacularlyand Joan’s comedy was such a welcome breath of fresh air, however, thatI couldn’t help but wonder if either the whole thing was planned, orshe was setting Clint up to fail.
In the boardroom, Annie and Joan had a pretty intense fight, duringwhich Joan called Annie out on being two-faced (probably), having ahuge ego (definitely), taking credit for everything (also definitely),and being just like Hitler (um…definitely not). After their blow-up,we found out that Athena won the challenge by raising $153,000 and KOTUonly raised $92,000. Though I don’t think Joan was a bad projectmanager, it didn’t seem like anyone on her team really screwed up. Whenthat happens, the project manager usually goes home, right? Well, notif you’re BFF with Donald Trump. Since the editing had focused heavilyon the jewelry choice last week, it wasn’t a surprise when Trump sentNatalie packing instead of Joan.
The second challenge saw the contestants create a new dish andmarketing campaign for the Schwan’s frozen food LiveSmart line. Athena,led by Jesse, made turkey and spinach meatballs with gluten-free pasta.KOTU, led by Herschel, made Asian orange chicken. In the boardroom, wefound out that though the main dishes both turned out well, KOTU’syogurt dessert was an unfreezable packaging nightmare and didn’t reallymeasure up to Athena’s dish. We also sat through a weird interlude whenDonald wondered why Sandra Bullock married Jesse. It couldn’t haveanything to do with the fact that he’s got a great personality andcharm, right? No, Donald says it’s because Jesse’s probably great inbed. Coincidentally, I began to wonder how Donald got such a hot modelto marry him. It couldn’t have anything to do with his piles of money,which I imagine he swims in, Scrooge McDuck-like, on a nightly basis,right?
Though I was rooting for Clint to get the ax (he just creeps meout), Donald ended up firing Herschel, who had lost as project managerfor the second time. Clearly Joan wasn’t going, since she’s Trump’sBFF, and Clint wasn’t going, since he causes so much drama, so Herschelwas the logical choice. Plus, he didn’t really do much, and seemed toskate by under the radar on the other challenges.
What did you think of last night’s two firings? Did Trump make theright choices? Are you on Team Joan or Team Annie? Did you also wonderwhy one of KOTU’s models was wearing only underwear? Are you amused bythe fact that Annie always has to have the last word (”I told you thegluten-free would work!”)? What did you think of the previews for nextweek’s episode?
Must List Live: See why Dalton Ross says Celebrity Apprentice is the greatest bad show in TV history!
I love this show. It’s bad yes, but I can’t help but to like it. I thought 2 hours would be too much, but it isn’t.
http://tvdonewright.com/2009/04/20/tv-tonight-monday-april-20th-2009/
I’m sorry but Joan has to stay for as long as possible. She is hilarious on this show and I’m not talking about her jokes (although she is pretty funny). Her dislike for Annie is sooo great! Annie shouldn’t be compared to Hitler, but she is annoying as heck! Herschel did deserve to go home because of the dessert alone. I will miss him if only for his reaction the video that Clint Black made for All.
Annie’s gross- such a narcissist. That’s why she’s going to win, because she’s just like Trump. does Clint Black strike anyone else as being older than Joan? That guy just doesn’t seem to have a clue. Joan is hilarious because she’s so passionate, yet during the actual challenges she comes off as incredibly level-headed. I’d love for her to win.
I’ve said since the beginning that I bet it will be a Joan and Melissa finale. The way Donald was kissing Joan’s arss last night it may really end up that way. Although, Annie is a fierce competitor. Clint Black is just creepy and should go.
I think last night the show clearly took the ugly inevitable turn it takes every season (Celebrity or not) and had the Donald firing contestants based on their television “drama” value rather than their overall implicity in losing the task. And he did it not once but twice in a single episode. That’s one dirty episode if you ask me which noxiously culminated in the should-have-been-tossed-long-ago Clint Black not even having the humility or unscumbaginess to shake a fired Herschel’s hand as the pair exited the boardroom.
“If I ever got thrown under a bus, my father would get mad at me for letting myself get thrown under a bus.” You tell ‘em, Ivanka.
Babulah – that would be an interesting finale actually. Personally, I don’t think Melissa did much of anything in the 2nd challenge. If it were anyone other than Joan as PM they would have gone. Joan should have picked the jewelry & let Natalie do the fashion. She should have saved Clint immediatley when he struggled. She was a lousy PM but can you imagine how boring the last few episodes would be if it were Natalie, Herschel and Brandy? I still think Annie has a shot at this if she continues to raise so much money. Maybe it will be a three way finale.
You don’t get frozen yogurt when you freeze yogurt!
Love Annie. Think Joan is absolutely unbearable. I would love to punch both Rivers women in the face after last night’s tantrum. At least Annie is playing to win: remember, people, this is a GAME. The goal is to win at all costs. Like her or not, I saw Annie hand her charity a check for a quarter of a million bucks last night.
I think Trump is keeping Joan around for the drama factor, and also to set her up for a shocking firing to add to the drama. He respects Duke the most, that much is obvious. Duke is the most business-like, and has done well and every task she has been given.
She earned alot of points for not responding to Rivers personal attacks. What is the saying – people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones? She really is not that funny on the show – very annoying. Even her own daughter is getting sick of her dementia-induced rants.
Team Joan. I am not a fan of Joan’s (in fact I think she was not funny and embarrassed herself with her latter-year’s red carpet interviews), but think she was right both times when she was upset with Clint and then with Annie. And, Joan works hard and is smart. Melissa understands better than her mother the nature of this game, namely that Annie is being two-faced and trying to get rid of the stronger competitors. Annie knows that if she faced off against Brandi in the final round, Annie would cream her. I’m thinking the final will be some mix of Jesse, Joan and Annie. Melissa and Brandi are darkhorses, and Clint will be the next to go. I just wish Trump would pair Clint up with Annie next week – that would result in some fireworks.
Joan is an evil evil woman, she and her daughter are so vicious.
The things out of her mouth are heinous.
I’m on Team Jesse! It looks like he’s headed back to Kotu, so here’s hoping they lose so Clint can finally say goodbye. I liked him so much better when he was a country singer who I didn’t really know much about except that he’s married to Lisa Hartman (no, I don’t listen to country music). And it makes me wonder, why didn’t Piers grill Clint about his Hollywood connection? I don’t think he brought in $5 in the auction. I was most interested in seeing how much Jesse was going to take from Piers before he jumped over the table to punch him out. The look on his face was the closest I’ve seen him to angry, and I watch Monster Garage, too. Anyway, I cannot believe how many challenges have been undermined, sabotaged and just plain screwed up by Clint and he’s still around. Mr. Trump, if you read this, can his sorry butt. He’s dead weight, man!
I think its telling that all of Annie’s friends came and donated huge amounts of money. Joan and Melissa has been in Hollywood for eons, and yet they can’t get a single rich person to donate? That speaks volumes about what kind of people they are.
I think its telling that all of Annie’s friends came and donated huge amounts of money. Joan and Melissa has been in Hollywood for eons, and yet they can’t get a single rich person to donate? That speaks volumes about what kind of people they are.