I’m a huge fan of the nonstop camp rollercoaster that is America’s Next Top Model. But this season, er, cycle — the show’s 12th — I’ve found myself building up a DVR backlog, and when I finally got a chance to catch up this weekend, I had to (blasphemy alert!) fight the urge to hit the fast-forward button on my DVR. It’s not that there aren’t contestants to love (Aminat!!) and loathe (Sandra, Natalie), it’s just that the show’s formula of mentally and emotionally torturing pretty young ladies has grown suddenly stale. Which got me thinking about five ways Tyra & Co. can freshen things up for Cycle 13. Read on, then make your own suggestions for reviving Top Model in the comments section below!
1. Turn the contact sheets over to the contestants and let them choose their own "best shots." Think about it: In its current incarnation, Tyra and the producers have way too much power to script and manipulate the outcome of the competition. "Here’s your best shot" could easily be translated as "here’s your worst shot because we’ve determined your story arc is ovah!" Why not let the show’s dim-witted mannequins have a larger hand in determining their own fates? Especially if it allows us to see a weekly range of pho-tos — the fierce, the hideous, the ones that fail to capture this season’s keyword of "tension!" — for every girl in the competition.
2. Make sure there’s something at stake at each week’s photo shoot. Come on, there are hundreds of magazines, Web sites, clothing labels, and retailers that would kill for some free publicity. Instead of draping the models with meat-kinis (remember THAT one?) or making them try to scale the Great Wall of China, why not have ‘em compete to land actual spots in editorial or advertising spreads, and thereby see on a week-to-week basis who’s got the goods to survive in the real world. It’d sure beat having the week’s winning shot displayed as digital art in the Top Model house. (Bunk!)
3. Replace the man at Tyra’s right hand — at the judges’ table, that is. Keeping it really real, Miss J and her growing bowtie simply isn’t cutting it when it comes to delivering the funny — or the pertinent critiques. Why not bring back Nolé Marin, who slayed during deliberations in the March 25 episode.
4. Turn Paulina into Top Model‘s Tim Gunn. Seriously! She’s smart, she’s funny, she actually knows a thing or two about modeling. Bring Paulina on to the set to help advise clueless contestants as they try to smile with their eyes while fighting back the tears that result from listening to Mr. Jay’s patented brand of bitchery.
5. And finally…bring on Princess Thursday! (If you don’t know who that is, then it’s time to familiarize yourself with America’s Next Top Doll…after the jump. And fret not, ANTD fans, the long-awaited series finale will be filmed when Idol season is over!)
It’s true, y’all. Slezak rules!
Get rid of the art director Jay Manuel or whatever his name is. He’s repulsive to look at, dresses like a clown, wears too much foundation which makes his face look grey and has no charisma.
Princess Thursday. Bwah!
I miss Twiggy!! She’s ever so much better than Paulina. She was always the nice, sweet, voice of reason on the show. (Nigel’s pretty reasonable too — and pretty!)
Paulina is so much better than Twiggy. She’s not as nice but she is funnier and offers better critiques.
I think it would be interesting if contestant scores were cumulative from week to week. It would make it much more of a game, from the contestant point of view.
Bring Nolé back, he was awsome in the cycle 3 (specially when he cat fought with Janice), and change the prizes, I mean seventeen? there was a time when they had a spread in Marie Claire or Elle magazine. And the panel challenges were great too, bring them back
DUMP. BENNY. NINJA.
I am SO OVER Benny Ninja it’s not even funny. I actually found myself not watching ANTM last week in lieu of American Idol(go ADAM!!), and I have NEVER done that. And it was because of Benny.
Benny Ninja is not funny, and his schtick has overstayed its welcome. Remember when Stacey McKenzie did the posing class in Cycle 7? Bring her back. Or even better: remember JANICE DICKINSON’S POSING CLASS?! Bring that one back! Pleeease!
this show sucks. 12 seasons, NO top models.
Watch Bravo’s “Make Me A Supermodel” instead. It’s hands down better than ANTM.
First of all cast actually pretty girls who can be models. The first three seasons girls looked like actually models. Lately only about 3 girls out of the 9 seasons look like models and got actually jobs as models. Tyra always want to make sure no one is prettier than her. Well her is my suggestion:TYRA STOP WITH THE STUPID TYRA MAIL. STOP HAVING YOUR PICTURE ALL OVER THE MODELS’ HOUSE AND STOP SHOWING YOUR STUPID PICTURE BEFORE ELIMINATION!
How about real modeling criteria.. Younger, taller, and thinner girls that would really have a shot. Cindy Crawford was discovered from a model search when she was 15 and almost 5’11. She had a chance… These girls don’t. ANTM is a REALITY show.. not a model search.
The show is just to scripted now. I haven’t watched since Saliesha won (that entire season was a set up)
It’s just too fake. I liked it when the girls actually had a chance of becoming models. Now Tyra’s picking, essentially, ugly girls (“not your stereotypical beauties”). Come on, we all know these girls won’t make it in the modelling world. She tries to cut boundaries by letting women of all weights on the show – yet she only allows short girls on for one specific season? This show sucks.
Hey Mo! Where is Larry and Curly? Bwah-haw-haaa!! You need a new do man, er’ girl, er’ whatever…..
I used to love this show but I stopped watching it two cycles(seasons)ago. I cringe while watching it because I’ve seen it all before. I really don’t enjoy it anymore.