Last night’s episode was one of many revelations, all of them either unnecessary or upsetting. We now know that Brad doubles as a makeup artist. Jill is a 32 G. Simon had a vasectomy. Kelly has many charities, and yet none. Arthritis is one of those "cute" conditions. And Ramona may soon be starting a foundation in honor of Avery’s right heel. Also, Bravo may be trying to turn the ubiquitous Russell Simmons into the next Housewife.
Kelly is turning into quite the stoned villainess. There is something so vacant and vaguely cruel about her that she manages to make LuAnn, who always seems the voice of level-headed reason in comparison, seem positively divine. Kelly droned to the Countess about how she doesn’t even have time to support her own charities, how can she be expected to lend her name to Jill’s fight against arthritis? "What charities?" LuAnn sensibly inquired. "Uh, I don’t do charities," said Kelly. Later the leggy advertisement against spray-tanning gave a tutorial to all budding hack journalists out there on the art of the interview. Make it about you, marvel over platitudes, print puff pieces on your fabulous friends, accept expensive gifts (in this case, a Jill Stuart watch) in return.
Bethenny wants to bitch-slap Kelly. Apparently, Kelly once flirted with Bethenny’s rock and roll photographer boyfriend and our girl, who we know has a hard time letting go and moving on (get thee to a therapist!), is not over it. So when Kelly droned on about her fabulous friends and this fabulous party that they had to go to together, Bethenny gave her the heavily-lined stink eye. Then Kelly showed up to Jill’s charity meeting 30 minutes late, only to smile insincerely at a mystified Ali and call her arthritis adorable, and pitched a fit over the idea of her name being included on the event’s invitation. Welcome to the shark tank, girl. Bethenny accused her of coming from "a place of no" and this all set the scene for next week’s heavily anticipated confrontation between the two. "We’re not friends," Kelly says in the trailer. "Correct," spits Bethenny. Bring it.
It better beat the non-fireworks fizzling between Ramona and Simon. The McCords hop-skipped to the front row of Fashion Week, delighted that poor Simon had been upgraded from the status of Alex’s plus one. Simon loomed over a sneering Ramona, wondering why it was she wouldn’t let him kiss her cheek. Ridiculous Ramona smilingly accused him of having no depth, and being too feminine, and eeew gross, let’s just stick to a handshake. Simon sank back into his seat, and then proceeded to marvel over the men in the Russell Simmons’ fashion show. "We had a nice long view of the front and back of the models," he said, as the camera lingered on the receding hamstrings of Russell’s boys. Oh Simon, you make it too easy!
As silly as they are, I find myself partial to Simon and Alex. Yes, my heart deflates when I realize they’re off on another shopping expedition. Yes, bile rises when Simon does things like cup his wife’s inverted sternum in a Williamsburg boutique, leering "So the chains will hit just below your breasts?" Yes, I want to throw a blanket over Alex when she pops out of a dressing room and gives a sad little shake of that confusing fairy-skirt dress. Still, inexplicably, I’m fond of them.
Jill isn’t being given enough screen time this season. She wears muu-muus. She bends over to smush her 32 G’s into place. She wants Kelly to go put on a bra, or a "brawer," already. I love her so.
What say you? Don’t you think LuAnn is at her best when she’s with awful Kelly? Do you think Bethenny is being too hard on the leggy one? At what point did you almost throw up during the episode?
I don’t understand Kelly’s face.
From a distance, she looks fine.
But up close, she looks like a burn victim.
Can we not invite her back next season?
i CANNOT atand kelly…it makes me so angry that they added this pointless woman who takes time away from the other women who are actually interesting! All she talks about is how many “fabulous” people she knows and how she goes to alot of events? And I swear, she has no place to pick on my Bethenny! I hope Bethenny beats her ass!
Okay, so from now on, the correct response to any bad news or situation is “oh, how cute.” (Example: “my dog died.” Response: “Oh, how cute!”) Thanks, Kelly.
Is there a more shallow person anywhere? And I second Jill’s brawer remark!
Kelly was brought in to start trouble, which is exactly what she’s doing… making this season more enjoyable than last. Also, I agree.. Alex and Simon are starting to grow on me when the rest of them seem like heartless lunatics. Bethenny is hard to look at, but I believe she’s the best of the lot. Jull, Ramona, Legs and Luann are great to watch, but I’d like to see fewer of their kind in our city.
I think Bethany is the best! She’s real, she’s funny and such a great balance between a herd of delightful whacko’s! She’s a great girlfriend who would always have your back! You go girl! =)
If you want to talk about new fashions, have you seen Leonardo DiCaprio’s new BABY BELT-BUCKLE SERIES? (what was he thinking???)
http://www.digitalfuntown.com/videos/160
Does anyone else find Simon extremely creepy? I could watch Bethanny and Jill all day – my favs!!!!
I haven’t watched this mess from the beginning of the season. Has Kelly always been this… awful, or is it just her turn to get the “B-i-t-c-h Edit” (Not that it requires much editing, based on last night.) Simon and Alex disturb me on a level that I thought had been numbed by reality TV. Turns out it hadn’t.
I adore Jill, and she and her darling daughter acted with class and restraint when that overgrown bimbo, Kelly, made a nasty spectacle of herself. Is she retarded??? Since when is arthritis “cute”? Have mercy. Bethenny, you rock, put that chick (dude) in ‘it’s’ place. Just be careful, it has a mean left hook….just ask it’s gigolo who was beaten unmercifully. This show is hysterical…I love it! Luann looks like a kitten compared to Kelly, now. Seriously, was Kelly once a man? Please, someone check this out. TATA Ladies and Gents!
I find it hard to believe that are actually people out there like Kelly. Are you for real…. Or are you acting?? There is no way that someone can be so annoying and rude. A. You do need a bra B. You are not Gods gift. Get over yourself!
Steve, I kept thinking the same thing. I said outloud several times, “what the hell is wrong with her face?”
How about Jill saying repeatedly “I need some sugar! Get me a Diet Coke!” Uh, Jill . . .
Ramona is the one with “no depth” for having such a lame conversation with Simon in the middle of a fashin show. She is indeed the most pathetic of the bunch. She tries so desperatly to be accepted by folks who are clearly more well to do than she is. The best yet was at the horse show in the Hamptons when she was going on to Kelly about how beautiful and stunning she looked. Kelly wasnt listening to a word, and was scanning the crowd looking for friends. Meanwhile I love Bethany, but her weight loss this season is scary.
I also think Kelly is rather masculine. And a snob. I thought the interview with the designer was ridculous. Any high school newspaper journalist could have done as well or better. I’m totally on Team Bethenny who, along with Jill, is the reason I continue to watch. I thought LuAnn was the worst, and I still think so, but Kelly trumps her. Simon is a closeted gay and Alex seems oblivious to his gayness. He’s completely creepy. What kind of husband gropes you in public like that and then shouts out about his vastectomy. WTF ?!
why in this season do the girls constantly give their credentials about who they know, how great they are, and how lucky everyone who is seen with them is? why can’e we just have orange county all year round?