Objectively speaking, opening night of American Idol‘s eighth-season semifinals was not good, dawgs. On the women’s side, if it wasn’t abysmal song choice (Ann Marie Boskovich), it was abysmal singing (Stevie Wright), or abysmal styling (Jackie Tohn), or abysmal all-of-the-above (Casey Carlson). For the men, once-promising performers took spectacular nosedives (Stephen Fowler), middling performers got praised just for being nice (Michael Sarver), and personal favorites (Anoooooooooop!) didn’t quite live up to expectations. (It’s okay, ‘Noop Dawg, I’m still a fan.) Oh, and regardless of the gender of vocalist, the American Idol band (Rickey Minor and the Karaoke Backing Track Orchestra!) sucked with all the fury of a hungry 10-year-old trying to make a too-thick milkshake climb up a narrow straw.

My gut tells me Danny Gokey and Alexis Grace will score tickets to the top 12, with the non-gender-specific third position going to Anoop Desai. Possible spoilers? Ricky Braddy? Maybe Michael Sarver? Or, if America doesn’t buy the judges’ too-hasty labeling of Alexis as the next Kelly Clarkson, maybe Ann Marie or…um…can we do write-in texts for Leneshe Young?

But hey, I still need to ponder all this excitement for the next few hours as I work on my full TV Watch recap. Check back for it around 6 a.m., and until then, check out the latest episode of Idolatry and head to the comments section below to share your thoughts about tonight’s show.

More on ‘American Idol,’ ‘AI’ graduates:
‘American Idol’: Michael Johns, Carly Smithson to duet on Wednesday night
‘Idolatry’: Making sense of American Idol’s top 36
‘American Idol’ recap: Hollywood Week, episode 4
Joanna Pacitti out of ‘American Idol,’ Felicia Barton in.
Who is the reigning ‘Idol’ Fashion Victim: Paula, Kara, or Randy?
‘Idol’: The 10 Best — and 5 Worst — Song Choices Ever
‘American Idol’ recap: Hollywood Week, episode 3
 ‘American Idol’: 10 Greatest ‘Hollywood Week’ Moments
EW’s ‘American Idol’ HQ
‘American Idol’: Get the scoop on what 14 of your favorite former contestants are doing now
Fantasia covers ‘Lady Marmalade’! Roof height at venue permanently altered. 

Yes, it’s here folks! The debut of our weekly American Idol Power List — which will post every Monday from now through the end of May. What you’ll see for our inaugural countdown are a few surprises in the top 10 (especially the under-the-radar vocalists who sit at Nos. 5 and 6), and two controversial omissions. Indeed, I ignored Norman Gentle and Tatiana Del Torro in favor of folks who I felt had a more legitimate chance of cracking the top 12. Which means that if you’re a fan of season 8′s two most gimmicky semifinalists, you’ll have to vote "other" in our weekly poll, then abuse me mercilessly on our message boards over the next three weeks when/if the merry pranksters at Vote for the Worst can convince enough folks to push one or both of ‘em through to the finals. Until then, read ‘em and vote!

20. Stephen Fowler: Sizzling first impression with "Superwoman" was promptly erased by his lyric-flubbing tantrum on the last day of Hollywood Week. Brutal draw against Anoop and Danny may leave him praying for a Wild Card slot.

19. Nathaniel Marshall: Season 8′s resident drama queen proved he’s got actual chops by offering an intriguing acoustic take on Rihanna’s "Disturbia," then winning a sing-off against Jackie Midkiff. But has copious crying footage already killed his chances?

18. Michael Sarver: Laid-back ”roughneck” got plenty of screentime at his audition and during Hollywood Week, but his singing has been more solid than spectacular, and like Stephen, he’ll need to topple early faves Anoop and Danny to advance.

17. Jackie Tohn: Has called dibs on the "wacky" rocker chick persona, but as Amanda Overmyer learned last season, that’s a polarizing path. Which will voters remember more: Jackie’s gold-sequined fanny pack or her groovy interpretation of "I’m Yours"?

16. Scott MacIntyre: His success in spite of his visual impairment is one of season’s most memorable backstories, but his performances to date — Daughtry’s "Home" and Billy Joel’s "And So It Goes" — betrayed a bit of vocal wobbliness.

15. Jesse Langseth: Big Hollywood Week moment came when Simon told her she had no chance to win based on her choice of Nikka Costa’s "Like a Feather" for a sing-off with Frankie Jordan. But anyone who caught a brief snippet of her "Some Kind of Wonderful" knows she’s a live long shot.

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