Oh, great. Here we go again! Singer/Nashville Star host/former van resident Jewel alerted her fans via blog yesterday that she’s suffering from tendonitis in her knees, probably the result of her intense training sessions for the upcoming season of Dancing with the Stars. Jewel, whose rodeo star husband Ty Murray is also slated to compete this season, says she is "worried I won’t even be able to dance!" Hooray!
Is it just me, or has the DWTS set started to resemble the evacuation hospital on China Beach in recent years? Dance is grueling, y’all! Seems like a celebrity contestant of one of the show’s highly skilled partners hurts themselves every week when the show is filming (and let’s not even start with the national arena tour, where they drop like flies). Still, this could very well be a premature medical hiccup that will be cleared up before the show returns on March 8. But let’s say Jewel does end up forfeiting her spot on the show. Who would you like to see replace her? I’m throwing a hat in the ring for Marilyn Manson. He could use the work, right? Here are a few more reasons why I think Marilyn is an inspired choice:
1) Satisfactorily satisfies the I-was-big-in-1997 standard that has been set by Jewel
2) Certifiable nutjob; likely to provide colorful banter opposite equally certifiable nutjob/judge Bruno Tonioli
3) Opportunity to see Marilyn Manson wearing an outfit that non-ironically encompasses fringe and pleather
4) Likelihood of uncomfortable/totally awesome backstage drama with fellow contestants Lil’Kim, Nancy O’Dell, and/or Denise Richards
5) Prospect of seeing on-again/off-again girlfriend Evan Rachel Wood in audience, scowling and sporting a baby tee with the slogan DANCIN’MANSON
So: are you with me? If not, which celebrity do you want to see throw on their cha-cha heels and give it a go?
I think Jewel would need to be replaced by a woman so that her partner (Dmitri, I think) could stay in the competition. Maybe they could get back Misty May if she is better. Or if we want someone from the 90′s music world, what about Shania Twain? I think she’s a lot like Jewel.
Since you mentioned China Beach, I suggest Dana Delaney-already on ABC’s payroll and she’s not doing much on DH anyway.
How about one of the Hanson brothers? That would fulfill most of your requirements.
Nicolette Sheridan is unemployed now.
How about Shirley Manson from Garbage?She satisfies all but #5 on the list and she’s a girl!
Anybody but that pathetic attention whore from The Hills who claims she was in talks with them to do it. I wouldn’t want to be forced to divorce this show like I have American Idol.
Good, Jewel is annoying! so, anybody
Shirley Manson would be a good choice but she’s on the Sarah Connor show right now. Alanis Morrisette, Meredith Brooks, Fiona Apple or Paula Cole were were big about the same time as Jewel if they were looking for a female singer replacement.
She said that she’s going to be fine. She said this in an article: Yes it is true, I’ve had a minor setback in my training for Dancing with the Stars,” she said. “But I am dedicated to getting better and showing the judges and America that I can cha-cha with the best of them. Don’t count me out as I am in this for the long run.”
http://tvwatch.people.com/2009/02/25/jewel-worried-she-wont-be-dancing/
Since they would lose the Jewel/Ty couple competition if Jewel left, they should replace her with Jane Wiedlin. Then Jane and Belinda could have a go-go-off.
You had me at Dancin’Manson.
Reba totally. I can see her dancing.
RuPaul
I nominate Sharon Stone, Sean Young or Lara Flynn Boyle. Any of them will make the show a total war crime. Too bad Jewel might leave though. She has a nice bod…so long as she doesn’t smile too much and show off her British-style teeth.
I’d go with one of the Girls Next Door.