'The Real Housewives of New York City' recap: Holy catfight!

The Real Housewives of New York City, the snootier, subdued, and slightly less accessorized older sister in Bravo’s trio of overprivileged gals, returned last night. Not much happened, truth be told. But there were Hamptons houses to compare, some charming repartee between Jill and Bethenny (the only two women on this show who seem like genuine friends), and of course, Jill’s dear husband Bobby, who is always a delight, with never an unkind word for any of the idiots in his midst.

A quick recap: Jill, reeling over Simon’s comments to New York magazine about her undeniable Long Island roots, bitched to the NY Post that he was nothing but drunk and jerk. She felt lousy. Alex was pissed, though her tone of her voice never wavered from its therapeutic drone, but Simon took the slam rather well. At a grim-looking Social Life magazine party, where the Countess spurned a Rolling Rock because royalty dare not drink directly from bottles, Jill and Simon made up, and she didn’t make fun of his pistachio-colored jacket. LuAnn had returned from Switzerland, with a taste for dresses with sequined necklines. She spoke about how nothing is worse in this world than people who look down their straightened noses on others. Then take the damn beer or get yourself your own drink, woman! Back in New York, Ramona was still staring into the camera with her stunned raccoon eyes. She seemed like she was trying out a new, calmer persona for TV. But then she went to dinner with her husband, who ogled women passing by on the street, before licking a spilled Cosmopolitan off her spray-tanned arm. It was at this point that my own husband fell a little out of love with me for watching this show, and left the room.

The big news was that LuAnn roped a new Housewife onto the scene. Kelly, a model, equestrienne, an author (whose area of expertise is the bikini), and apparent collector of gorgeous pool boys (check her out in the clip below). She’s also the ex of Gilles Bensimon, though I never expected to hear anyone on TV say that name besides Tyra.

In short, Jill is still a nasally goofball, but she means well. Bethenny is still the acerbic voice of reason, and girl can rock a bikini. Ramona, still cuckoo, still mean. LuAnn, still a prig, but oddly endurable. Alex. Oh Alex, are you a ridiculous person, but also a good one? I think yes. Simon, God help me, you’re okay in my book too as long as you keep your clothes on. But you two simply must get your naughty oeufs (Francois and what’s-his-name) under control, and stop talking about shopping already. Seriously! As for Kelly, she’s the first genuine socialite we’ve seen on this show, but she seems like a leathery stalk of trouble. In an enraging scene from the coming season, she has the nerve to put my dear Bethenny down. Don’t make me sic Bobby on you, bitch. Teddy bear have claws, too.

So what of it, PopWatchers? Raring to go with another round of RHNYC?