Feb 2 2009 04:51 PM ET

Michael Phelps should better screen his friends, replace Chester the Cheetah

Micahelphelps_lI like to look at life in a "pool half full" sort of way. So when some ingrate breaks the universal stoner code of conduct and foists a photo of Michael Phelps hitting a water bong all over the Internet, I think to myself: That’s too bad. Concerned parents and/or people who were actually frightened by Reefer Madness are gonna flip out over this for a little bit. That’ll be annoying. Why didn’t he retreat into his special pot den, away from potential ingrates with cameras? I wonder if he’d let me decorate this hypothetical pot den of his that clearly doesn’t exist. What if it was made to simulate an UNDERWATER environment? Oh, s—!

Let’s look beyond the bong. Not only does this recent "news" make Phelps’ decision to endorse Frosted Flakes rather than Wheaties much more logical, it also opens the door for Michael the Merman to officially replace Chester the Cheetah as the official mascot for Cheetos. Anything would be better than last night’s Super Bowl commercial. If his other endorsements fall through, I’d also like Phelps to consider Reese’s, Tostitos brand chili con queso, and that amazing Toll House cookie dough that comes pre-cubed in a 4×5 grid. He’d also be a prime candidate for an anti-drug PSA. "Kids, don’t use this non-addictive substance that’s prescribed to people in California who get headaches, or you’ll end up like this sorry-ass 14-time Olympic gold medalist."

Seriously, it was savvy of Phelps to apologize to the public for his "bad judgment," but let’s not pretend the public so desperately needed a 23-year-old who must ingest 12,000 calories a day to atone for something as insignificant as this. And in terms of entertainment, people who watched him guest on SNL or Entourage aren’t likely to be that bothered by the revelation that Michael Phelps gets stoned. Do you think this "scandal" could end up endearing him to a significant portion of the entertainment audience?

Read more:
Anderson Cooper vs. Michael Phelps in the pool!
Phelps makes our list of 25 Entertainers of the Year
Mighty Phelps family to eventually endorse everything
Olympic Stud of the Day: Michael Phelps

Comments (1-30) of 79 Add your comment

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  • WOMO

    I haven’t smoked in a while but I want to say one thing…HAH!!! Take that to all you people who lump every smoker into the catagory of non-motivated, lump on the couch losers. There are productive members of society who prefer to have a smoke in the evening instead of a drink.

  • LG from VA

    People who went to HS with Phelps say he’s been a recreational user since he was 15 or 16. Also, they say he is as dumb as a stump (which explains why he would do this in such a public location with millions of $$ of endorsements on the line). Fortunately, a great swimmer. Unfortunately, not all that bright of a guy.

  • wildecat

    Well, speaking as a mom, I needed him to atone for this. I know my two young sons, who followed Phelps’s every move in the Olympics and cheered for him madly, will certainly be upset and confused to find out their hero does drugs. So, yeah, I need him to say it’s a mistake, if only for my kids.

  • franzferdinando

    Annie, good point about “ingrates with cameras”. Clearly Michael Phelps needs real friends and not hangers-on. Too bad that fame – and not just the dope – has clouded his judgment.

  • EvilCornbread

    wildecat: Does he have to apologize for having a beer too? Virtually every adult “does drugs”.
    I’m no pot-legalization crusader, but I think the double standard we have for two drugs with very similar effects is pretty absurd.

  • Carol Cahill

    How many celebs have we seen drinking?This is a great opportunity for those of us who who like to see pot decriminalized.Phelps may have done more to advance the conversation that anyone to date. He is a champion and some champions smoke pot. Big deal.

  • gina

    I like him much better now.

  • Grace

    Totally agree with you Annie. It’s so not a big deal. After all those gold medals if the dude wants to smoke a little he should go right a head. Its not like its a picture of him doing blow off a hooker’s behind. Phelps is still awesome.

  • Planet Automatic

    Roll Model:)
    ——————
    Its all rock’n roll to me.
    I cant see why he got be pigeon holed and supress 23 year old angst.
    He aint a bad guy, and being gregarious and cool (has become so uncool nowadays). To each his own,
    just educate kids better that theres all sorts of “fun”. its your CHOICE not to follow every star and turn .

  • paige

    holler! you go Phelps’! seriously, is anybody shocked??? look at that mug- he looks EXACTLY like a pothead lol… eh, i dont care about this stupid story– its not like he was doing steroids or anything… give the kid a break

  • annie

    i wasn’t at all surprised. or shocked. he’s 23. he’s off season. it was bound to happen.

  • January

    Wildcat, Phelps is not beholden to you or your kids. He has his own life I suggest you get one. I’m with cornbread. I’ve seen many, many people die due to alcohol, some in one session and their first one at that. But in my lifetime, I’ve never heard of anyone dying due to pot. It is a drug and always will be but to regard it as society does while turning a largely blind eye to consistent killers like alcohol and tobacco proves that there are other forces at work beyond “concern for public/societal safety”. A brief look at the history of its criminalization reveals the degree of politics at work for what substances are legal and why.

  • Sara

    Personally, I don’t hold it against him. But I think the companies that he has endorsements with, have every right to pull him if they so choose. I’m sure there would be some sort of clause in his contracts regarding inappropriate/illegal acts. Doesn’t mean he can’t do it…but when you sign on a dotted line and then break the rules, you should expect there to be consequences for your actions.

  • Anonymous

    I’m dissapointed with Phelps, i thought he doesn’t do drugs..It’s such a shame that he is a drugadict, he is so young and talented..i will pray for him so he can’t smoke weed anymore..Go Phelps!!drugs can ruin your career…

  • Anonymous

    i still like him, but say no to drugs!

  • Anonymous

    This is getting way overblown, but I guess it comes with the territory of being that famous. I know tons of people who have smoked marijuana before, and they are all good people. I don’t hold it against him, I just think the media needs to get a life!

  • Another Mother

    Well wildecat….hope you sons grow up without any blemishes. Maybe your sons can lean from this experience and realize that even the best of athletes are human and make mistakes. Michael can step outside his intense training, and act like an everyday 23 year old young man. We all aspire to young athletes and set examples to our children through the accomplishments of these young heroes, however we need to also show them the reality of life and understand that we all make mistakes.

  • Miss B

    I’m not at all surprised that a 20-something dude with gazillions of dollars to blow is smoking pot. What surprises me is that he was stupid enough to let someone take a picture. (Duh. Fame 101, Phelps.)

  • KatieNix

    It’s funny, because it’s Michael Phelps and it’s water bong.
    Dude needs new friends.

  • wildecat

    To EvilCornbread and January: whether or not pot should or shouldn’t be illegal isn’t the point. Right now, it IS. So Phelps did something illegal on top of something that’s bad for him and sets a poor example for all the kids who worship him. Having a beer is an entirely different story, because drinking alcohol when you’re of age isn’t illegal. Phelps had to apologize a few years back when he got a DUI while underage, for the same reason he needs to apologize now. And I’m sorry to hear that “virtually every adult” you know does drugs, because virtually every adult I know (ya know, actual grown-ups with kids) does NOT. But thanks for the advice about getting a life. I’ll have to look into that.

  • wildecat

    To Another Mother – well, that’s exactly how I plan to handle this with my kids. It’s just a shame that I have to.

  • alexandra

    phelps *should* be punished in some way or another. not for smoking pot…but for being such as a dumb*ss for doing it around people he doesn’t know. seriously? in this day and age…if you’re stupid enough to think someone won’t take a picture, than i don’t feel bad if you lose endorsements. young kids are morons today – maybe this will teach some of them to tone it down a notch when everyone’s got a cameraphone in their pocket.

  • KR

    This is such an I don’t care moment. I’m not going to say who cares cuz clearly there are still uptight parents out there who think this is scandalous. But how does this hurt anyone?

  • alexandra

    also, to all the “adults” saying that everyone they know smokes pot…everyone does *not* smoke pot. my friends did it in college…but have since moved on and grown up. i always think, ‘wow, what a bunch of losers’ when i do see the older crowd in california toking up. aging hippies – those are the only ones that i know who still smoke after graduation.

  • Sabrina

    “Kids, don’t use this non-addictive substance that’s prescribed to people in California who get headaches, or you’ll end up like this sorry-ass 14-time Olympic gold medalist.” Love it! I hope this is a catalyst for decriminalization efforts…people need to stop putting pot in the same “don’t do drugs” category as heroin.

  • Chris

    I bet you would, Panama Red.

  • To Alexandra

    Most adults I know DO smoke pot (some more than others, but most have zero issue with lighting up from time to time.) And they are all successful members of society—definitely not hippies to be pitied. If you don’t want to smoke then that’s just fine, but don’t think everyone who does is a “loser.”

  • Mat

    uh, he has lil wayne as his favorite artist.
    water bong…surprise???

  • Sigh

    Wildecat, as an “actual” grown up who enjoyed Phelps achievments with my own children last summer and an “actual” grown up who does not use drugs, I have to ask, what exactly does Michael Phelps owe you or your children?
    In fact, Phelp’s “transgression” is a a golden opportunity for you to have a real conversation with your children about not only the dangers and myths of drug us, but also why it’s not a good idea to allow someone your children don’t even know to surpass their mother as a role model.

  • VaBeach EW Fan

    I’m so tired of hearing people judge others because of pot smoking. Legalize it already. People are allowed legally to kill themselves every day by abusing alcohol and tobacco, but someone takes a bong hit and it is front page news! Phelps has worked his a** off since he was a kid training every day-and he performed amazingly this summer and I’d be willing to bet he will perform well again at the next olympics. If the guy wants to take a little time off and live his life-like every other college aged kid gets to do-I have no problem with that. The real crime here is the jerk that took the picture in the first place. Whoever you are-get a life.

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