If, like me, you caught yourself thinking Wow, Paul Blart: Mall Cop was No. 1 at the box office two weeks in a row, maybe I missed something, you didn’t.
I went to see it this afternoon in Times Square, and was surprised to be joined by about 100 tourists, 60 of whom appeared to be junior high school students on a field trip. (Do you think they voted on which movie to see? Is that how this film is making its money?) I knew the basic plot, of course: Paul Blart can’t make it on to the New Jersey State Police, so he takes his job as a Segway-riding mall security guard very seriously. When the mall is overtaken by bad guys on Black Friday, he goes Die Hard on their asses. (And a little Bird on a Wire — there’s a scene in which he takes out a few guys in a Rainforest Cafe.) I also knew that the kids would laugh at things that I wouldn’t: The scene where a full-figured woman’s shirt comes up as she’s beating the crap out of Blart in Victoria’s Secret; the scene where non-drinker Blart challenges another man to a nacho-eating contest, bites into a pepper, chugs a margarita thinking it’s lemonade, dances, and crashes through a window; the scene where Blart knocks a bad guy unconscious by stuffing him into a tanning bed and slamming the roof on him repeatedly. (Wait, I don’t think even the kids chuckled at that last one.)
What I didn’t know is that had the comedy been as solid as the rest of the movie ("Hey you, scuba dooby do," Blart actually says before launching an air tank into a man’s crotch), it would have been totally enjoyable: The film has a couple of clever twists when it comes to who’s behind the heist and one sweet love story. Paul Blart is a single father whose wife used him to get a green card then abandoned him and their daughter. The real reason he didn’t flee the mall (after he finished his closing-time game of Rock Band in the arcade and realized it’d been taken over), is that among the hostages is Amy (Jayma Mays, Ugly Betty’s Charlie), the salesgirl he’d had the courage to awkwardly flirt with until he humiliated himself with the margarita incident. Now, here’s the thing, and a big SPOILER ALERT: When Paul and Amy finally kiss at the end, with Survivor’s "I Can’t Hold Back" playing in the background, that’s when the kids in the audience actually applauded.
It was at that moment that I realized that maybe I’m not the only one ready to see Kevin James play a character that’s not 50 percent boob. He got the girl (Amber Valletta) in Hitch by being his sweet, and I’ll say it, sexy self. Why can’t he get the girl in another romantic comedy that lets him say the punchline but not be it? Am I the only one who thinks he’s ready for that, assuming he wants it? After all, he cowrote Paul Blart.
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I think the true question is when will Hollywood step up and give the female equivalent of Kevin James her own comedy? Or at least cast her opposite Kevin James? Amber Valetta? Yeah, she’s a comedy genius. Why is it more important that she be hot than it is for her to be funny? I thought these were comedies.
I totally agree — I like Kevin James. He’s made some roles tolerable that absolutely should not have worked. As for Paul Blart, a friend of mine said it best. He noted that it opened against four Holocaust movies, and hopefully it was funnier.
No. He was still a boob in Hitch. Not until America is willing to accept a chub as a leading man can he play anything but a boob. I have to say, I was grossed out by Phillip Seymour Hoffman’s sex scene with Marissa Tomei and he is not 1/2 the size.
Kevin James in anything that he isn’t a total boob? seriously? that’ll work.
Kevin James movie is popular for the very reason that you hate it. Kevin James is popular because he plays this type of character so well. “Don’t listen, Kevin!” Or you will end up like so many other actors who are great comedic actors but now want to be taken seriously, ala Jim Carey.
lindsey, WHAT? jim carrey still does comedy, and when he does something more serious, he’s usually great in it, all the way back to The Truman Show.
back to kevin james. he was great in Chuck and Larry, and not so boob-ish. either way, he’s a funny guy.
I think Kevin looks pretty sexy in this photo. Maybe he can play a non-boob!
Would I like to see it? Sure. As a chubby “funny” guy myself I’d love to see him get a chance to do something a little more ‘real’.
That said, would I PAY to see it… not likely. Which is, of course, the reason it is not going to happen.
Studios will not chance on starring him in something like “Swingers”, where he could be serious-funny and hopefully make a few million in profit (when taking the DVD into account) when they could instead make “Paul Blart 2: Who Blarted?” and make that same profit on opening night.
He needs a bit like Wayne Brady did on the Chapelle Show.
I think it’s time. I have always loved the “King of Queens” and his roles in Hitch and I Now Pronounce You… were really sweet and endearing. I say, go for it!!
If you’ve ever seen his wife it’s not unbelievable that he gets the girl…..his wife is smoking hot!!!!