'The Secret Life of the American Teenager' premiere recap: Here comes the bride

Americanteenagerpremiere_lLast night was the season 2 premiere of my favorite show I inexplicably watch every week even though I’m not sure if I like or not — The Secret Life of the American Teenager, where every character acts like a 15-year-old, regardless of age (I’m looking at you, parental figures), and every minute plot point is explained in full detail by the characters while it’s happening. Let’s not waste any time chuckling at the fact that the show’s appropriately sponsored by Clean & Clear and get down to business — the two major revelations from last night’s episode.

First, Amy’s mom dropped the bomb that she won’t take care of her grandchild 24/7 when it arrives in three months, and Amy didn’t take it too well. Taking care of the child you bear? A concept only shocking to a 15-year-old. I was shocked because I’m pretty sure child-rearing is in the whole ”parental responsibility” contract you automatically sign when you have a child. Not to mention it was one of the things I thought Amy was taking into consideration during oh, you know, the entire first season, when she debated over keeping the child or not. Though I do appreciate the writers for harping on this point (if a little too obviously), because having your parents’ help is something many teen parents take for granted.

Amy reacted to the news the only way she knew how — by accepting her boyfriend’s ridiculous marriage proposal (seems honorable when faced with a pregnant girlfriend, but I just think it’s weird seeing as Ben isn’t the father). I know Amy was upset because she felt abandoned by her mother, but she should know that no one’s ever abandoned on a Brenda Hampton show! (Just call up the Camdens; they’ll take you in.) Getting married seems like a gross overreaction to a fact you really should have considered a couple of months ago.

The best suspended-reality TV-show moment of thenight, after the jump.

The second revelation of the night came in the form of a wedding.Amy and Ben ACTUALLY got married. In a chapel and everything. I’ll besurprised if the union is legally binding, however, since all partiesinvolved (guests, bridesmaids, and witnesses included) are under 18.Which leads us to the best suspended-reality TV-show moment of thenight: the fact that Amy, Ben, and all their friends had to get fakeIDs for the wedding, which were made IN THE SCHOOL by using a bigcutout of a fake-looking Nevada driver’s license, something I didn’trealize existed outside the realm of Freaks and Geeks. (Kids these days. Haven’t they heard of finding someone’s older sibling who looks kinda like you?)

Last night’s side plots included Amy’s dad moving into the familygarage instead of finding his own apartment (pretty humorous,actually), Adrian possibly switching schools, Amy’s sister talking inan insufferable monotone (oh wait, that’s every week), and Grace’sbrother getting a date who wasn’t an Internet prostitute.

What did you folks think of the premiere? Does the season lookpromising? Do you find Amy’s dad as smarmy and sexist as I do? Do youthink the wedding will turn out to be a not-so-legal union? And how didAmy’s friends find such cute matching bridesmaid dresses so fast?

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  • Laura K.

    I have the exact same feelings about this show. I find some aspects of it annoying, I don’t relate to it at all, but I do seem to be watching it. Anyway, about the bridesmaid’s dresses–one of the girls made a comment about having “grown” since the last time they’d worn them, so I assume they’d been in someone’s sister’s wedding before.

  • Meg

    They were in one of Lauren’s dad’s wedding. It was right after Madison commented on how tight the dress was. I loathe Amy’s dad…he’s right up there with Scotty’s dad on 7th Heaven before the big change of heart (is it the same guy too? He looks really familiar and I can’t place him). I just wish everyone would stop being so…sugary sweet. Ben just aggravates me, the way he pressures Amy into doing these things sometimes. And really…marriage at fifteen? I could understand if Ricky and Amy were getting married, but I don’t get Ben–does he really love Amy that much to pretend the baby is his? And also (this show is really flawed to me) this show makes it seem like all high schoolers think only about sex…that’s not true. Some of this is really farfetched. But how awesome would it be if Brenda Hampton arranged some 7th Heaven crossovers? Rev. Camden could take the Even Stevens’ dad place for an episode…

  • Anonymous

    Amy’s friends found the dresses because they were from the redhead’s father’s wedding.
    OMG. I can’t believe I knew that. I am officially a dork.

  • Gretchen

    I agree that Amy’s sister’s voice is annoying and I can’t believe they got married, legal or otherwise. I hate the message that sends. Also, I don’t mind her dad, but I hate that he told the father (sorry, I’m late arriving to TSLOAT, so I’m slow on names right now) of the baby that he couldnt have anything to do w/ it, but he WAS going to support it. Um, no, you dont get to make that decision, thanks.

  • To Meg

    Amy’s dad used to be on One Life To Live as Viki’s husband Ben.

  • PS

    I don’t remember what the comment was (I know, big help), but one sarcastic comment that Ashley (the sister) made had my wife and I rolling on the floor laughing. The show is a train wreck, but we just have to watch.

  • vanessa

    man i love this show i hope thay have a 2nd season showing how they rais the child k think about it I LOVE THIS SHOW, IT KEEPS U ON YOUR FEET!!!!!!!!

  • TV junkie

    I agree that this show is sometimes completely ridiculous, but I still enjoy watching it with my girls. It does have good lessons to learn (ie: you can get pregnant by only doing it once). Amy’s dad, George, is a crack-up. He is so clueless, but hysterically funny. Like in the rerun of the season finale–when he was in the principal’s office and he said, “I think THIS is slut school”. I couldn’t stop laughing. I love how Ben wanted to marry her–not that they actually got married, but that he loves her that much.

  • banker35d

    I like the premise of the show, but last night’s episode was a joke. I have 2 teenage girls 17 and 16 and they thought everything about the show was not reality. The network can get a good message out to kids, but they are making this show look stupid and they are going to loose the audience they are trying to reach.

  • Laura K.

    Meg, did you ever watch One Life to Live? The actor used to play one of Vicki’s husbands (Ben, I think). Don’t know what he’s done since, though.

  • jas

    This show warrants its own popwatch? Seriously?
    Although I did watch it yet again and wonder why afterwards. It was every bit as silly as I remembered last season being. Someday I will find the strength to tune out.

  • Bangkok

    It grates me how on like every episode everyone ends up doing the same thing — order pizza, want to skip school, get the car washed, show up at a shotgun wedding… I haven’t seen the first few eps in a while, so did the same thing hold true for them as well?
    Amy is just so freaking dumb and I actually feel badly for Ben. Whereas he’s so much in love he’s gone to crazy obsessive, Amy’s just using him because his family is loaded AND crazy. And from the looks of the previews, is going to try to have her cake and eat it too.
    Amd how did the Jock fall for Stat girl again? And why were Amy’s parents worried and Ashley’s bellybutton when she has hella knockers like that?? Goodness gracious…

  • Robin

    This show is ridiculous to the point where it’s unwatchable. Seriously, a kid has his own office in the school where he makes fake ID’s? In one of last seasons episodes, they had a kid take over the guidance counselors office (whatever happened to him anyway?)and he was going through all of the confidential files during school hours? That must be the most dysfunctional school ever – which obviously doesnt have locks on the office doors. Hey, I wonder if anyone would notice if the kids starting taking over and teaching the classes? The only thing that would make this show better is getting Bob Saget to play Ben’s dad as they look exactly the same.

  • Natally

    i agree with Meg,Ben is a pain in the ass. He loved Amy on their first date because he’s never had a girlfriend before and the only reason he wants to say the baby is his is because he wants to pretend he has actually had sex with Amy. No one should be getting married at 15 and though the show is highly amusing, high scoolers don’t only think about sex.

  • To Meg too..

    He also played “Mallet” on Guiding Light for years prior to the One Life to Live gig.

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