I am truly the worst. I thought I’d have time to shop this week! Oh, well. My friends and family will love reeking of charred ground chuck for all of ’09. Even if they only spritz it on once in ’08. At $4 per tube, Burger King’s Flame cologne is a huge bargain.
All week, I’ve kept Flame’s website — the aptly titled firemeetsdesire.com — open in my least powerful web browser (on the off chance that a more powerful one would have the strength to leap out into the realm of real space and murder me). I’ve considered it sort of a Festivus-esque Feat of Strength to see how long I can tolerate the site’s "theme music," which just lolls back and forth between two chords. This exercise produces nothing but an overwhelming sense of doom and a fierce suspicion that my life might be mirroring the theme music for firemeetsdesire.com. Maybe today will get better! / Probably not. / Wait, life is lookin’ up! / Hah, just kidding. / Something could be about to happen! / No, nothing ever will. Today’s record was 18 minutes. Try it for yourself!
Offer up your last-minute cheap-o gift suggestions in the comments. PLEASE. The people who have to associate with me in real life will thank you.
This comercial and the “King” are just to creepy.
That has got to be the most disturbing picture that I ever saw. Not just creepy Burger King, creepy naked Burger King. Do I just scrub my eyes with bleach, or do I play it safe and wash my brain, too?
As for last-minute cheap gifts, one year a relative gave lottery tickets. As lame as that was, it would have to beat Burger King “cologne” hands down.
A pole dancer alarm clock would be a great gift for a guy
Is it wrong that I was (ok, am) going to get this for a friend. We do eat at BK at least once a week. It’s not really for her so much as for her hubby. *wink*
In the words of all those on the internets who post the king’s image for whatever reason:
WHERE’S YOUR GOD NOW?
Oh my god I just went to the website to hear the music and while that picture is disturbing it is NOTHING compared to when the naked King appears and tries to seduce you…AHHH!
send your peoples a link to ur anniello tv. that should be enough
Lottery tickets can actually make cute gifts…
I’m pregnant and even the thought of smelling this scent makes me morning sick
This was MY idea! I got the idea for a commercial parody about meat scented perfume in January.
I’m slightly enraged. And the King is just disgusting. Anyway, maybe you could give people some homemade favor coupons, like 2nd graders do. It may be corny, but taking your friend’s kids off her hands for a couple hours will a lot more valuable to her than a dorky ornament she’ll only see once a year. Or a bottle of “Flame”.
Dear Burger King,
Next time you decide to invest thousands if not millions in a nationwide ad campaign, just give it to me. I guarantee that my worst idea will be better than this current…thing…by at least a factor of 10.
Eagerly expecting your call,
Me
Burger King has a cologne, can’t be much worse than Axe.
An empty lighter? For all the people you know who smoke?
http://backorforth.blogspot.com
Annie, you’re out of luck..it’s sold out. I SO wish I had known about this weeks ago..although I guess my guy friends are probably thrilled I did not.
I cannot believe large groups of people thought this was a good idea and brought it to reality. And yet that theme song is so hypnotic….MUST BUY MEAT PERFUME