It was only a matter of time before someone thought of this genius/absurd concept: a training school for wannabe reality stars. This week’s TimeOut New York profiles acting instructor/entrepreneur Robert Galinsky who recently opened The New York Reality TV School to help 15-minutes-of-fame seekers not only get cast on a show, but ultimately win. Former America’s Next Top Model, Survivor, and The Bachelor contestants are frequent guest lecturers. So far, the school’s most distinguished alumni include Groomer Has It’s Jorge Bendersky and Hole in the Wall’s first-prize winner, Jonathan Fable. Galisnky claims his institution is the only one of its kind, which means the industry is ripe for competition. In fact, I’m thinking about being the Pepsi to Galinsky’s Coke and opening my own reality show boot camp. I’ve even cooked up a course catalog. Take a look:
Advanced Alliances
We’ll teach you how to gain the trust of your fellow housemates or tribe members — then stab them in the back.
Intro to Hot Tubs
Jacuzzis, showers, horse troughs, they’ll all seem like child’s play once you’ve mastered our techniques. You’ll even learn how to navigate the treacherous waters of splish-splash makeout sessions. Special guest instructors Trishelle (pictured), Brynn, and Steven from The Real World: Las Vegas will be on hand to assist.
The Confessional: A History
We’ll look back at what makes a memorable pour-your-heart-out moment, from Elyse’s I-hate-everyone rant on cycle 1 of ANTM to sexytimes with The Real World: New Orlean’s Danny.
Stereotyping 101
Small-town virgin? Angry black man? Boozing frat boy? Who are you really? After a series of rigorous diagnostic tests including personality profiling, one-on-one interviews, and sock-puppet therapy, our staffers will assign you a relatable, overly simplified persona to perfectly fit your needs.
I’m off to a good start, but I need your help PopWatchers. Do you have any ideas for additional classes I should add to my curriculum? Would you ever be caught dead in a reality TV training school? Which reality "star" would you love to learn a thing or two from?
More reality:
‘Real World’: 21 Seasons’ MVPs
‘Top Model’ Favorites: Where Are They Now?
Jeff Probst blogs ‘Survivor: Gabon’ (episode 13)
Comments (1-30) of 34 Add your comment
You need some sort of course in choosing a bikini wardrobe.
There absolutely has to be a series of workshops dedicated to Irrational Emotional Outbursts. Students will learn how to reduce themselves to a pool of tears or fly into an uncontrollable rage at the drop of hat. Copious amounts of alcohol will be served to students who need extra assistance.
A follow-up for those who master the Irrational Emotional Outburst would be a course exploring nuanced ways to Bring the Crazy.
There absolutely has to be a series of workshops dedicated to Irrational Emotional Outbursts. Students will learn how to reduce themselves to a pool of tears or fly into an uncontrollable rage at the drop of hat. Copious amounts of alcohol will be served to students who need extra assistance.
A follow-up for those who master the Irrational Emotional Outburst would be a course exploring nuanced ways to Bring the Crazy.
A satellite course called “Avoiding the Dreaded Double Post when Making Blog Comments” might also be useful.
A course in How to Get Arrested in Front of a Camera and/or How to Make Whopee Under the Covers Course
the girl fight
A course on how to speak in sound clips so you’ll be in the commercials for the next episode.
Course: ‘How to convince kitchy washed up celebrities from the 80’s or 90’s to agree to live together in a rented mansion in front of millions for their humilation and for our nostalgic delight’ Secondly, Flavor Flav should be the Dean of your school, Amy. He made out like a bandit and earned $5 million dollars from VH1/Viacom. Flav reinvented the reality genre, would love to chop it up with him in your proposed school. LOL.
You have to have a course on how to insert the words chemistry, fairy tale, prince/princess, magical, and journey into every sentence you say when describing your relationship. Extra credit if you can successfully differentiate between “loving someone” and being “in love with someone.”
“Picking Your Opponent” is a required course for the student. We’ll help you determine which other contestent in the house will be the target of your irrational rage, and give you all the right tips for how to slander your nemisis in camera-worthy ways. Successful completion is required before you proceed to “Fight Dirty to Win!”
I think a physical education class would be necessary. Nothing ensures more screen time than a hot body and a willingness to show it off.
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