Okay, so I think I just figured out what’s wrong with almost every major televised awards ceremony in this country, but especially the Grammys: They spend so much time reminding us of how important and magical and woven into the fabric of a life we can barely understand in these crazy digital times their television program has been over the last half-century, they forget that the whole point of the ceremony in the first place is to celebrate the best of what is happening in our culture right this very second. And so while I think we can all agree that an Album of the Year race comprised of Coldplay, Radiohead, Lil Wayne, Ne-Yo, and Plant/Krauss is nothing to sneeze at, there was absolutely no need to announce the nominees in that or any other Grammy category during an hour-long Tribute To Songs Your Parents Like On That Network With Shows For Old People, designed to highlight the opening of an actual museum devoted to the aforementioned important magic.
Yes, last night’s telecast was basically the equivalent of historically landmarking a Taco Bell Express, with performances from Celine Dion, Foo Fighters, and the most overexposed blond since Lady Godiva, Taylor Swift. And there were also nominations, both positive– I’m sorry, did you say "Paper Planes"? are you sure?– and not so much. (See the major categories here.) We’re putting up a gallery of the worst snubs later today, but feel free to share yours in the comments. (I’m saving my controlled rage about Sugarland for the end of this article — only five paragraphs away…) Let’s begin, shall we?
Live, from the Nokia Theater in Los Angeles– where John Mayer and B.B. King are quite possibly still playing "Let the Good Times Roll"– it was the 2009 Grammy Nomination Special, a fun little project that probably wasn’t worth pre-empting an episode of Criminal Minds for, but whatever, sweeps ended on Sunday. I’ve got a pretty bad head cold at the moment, so when we opened on Mariah Carey in a sexy Santa outfit singing "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)" and throwing teddy bears out to the audience, I checked the channel to make sure I hadn’t recorded the Rockefeller Center Tree Lighting ceremony by mistake. But no, I was right, because soon enough there were your hilariously mismatched hosts, Taylor Swift and LL Cool J, mincing awkwardly around as the camera circled them in front of the Staples Center before cutting to Ne-Yo as he announced the Best New Artist nominees: Adele, Duffy, Lady Antebellum, the Jonas Brothers, and Jazmine Sullivan. Shocking not to see Leona Lewis, Estelle, MGMT, Vampire Weekend, or Katy Perry come up here, considering they even used the latter’s "I Kissed a Girl" in the introductory montage (a montage clearly designed to teach Criminal Minds viewers about the existence of the internet). Not shocking to see the Jonas Bros. grinning in the front row after the announcement of the nominees. Something tells me they weren’t propped up there just so Ms. Swift could spend the night glaring at whichever one she used to date.
Next was a performance of Janis Ian’s "At Seventeen" from Celine Dion that one might call "understated," but mostly left me wondering whether the dinner cruise would be docking soon. It was followed by an obligatory shot of Smokey Robinson, then a montage leading up to the Album of the Year nominations which proved that 1998 was the musical equivalent of Oceanic Flight 815. Again, I have no quibble with the nominations in this category, though I’m sure Alicia Keys and the Eagles would beg to differ. But who would you pull to fit them in? Lil Wayne and Coldplay are good and sold huge; Ne-Yo and Radiohead are just good; and Plant/Krauss could have played noseharp over a backing band of barking dogs and still gotten a nom, so the fact that they didn’t was a nice bonus. But no time to dwell, for we must listen to the Foo Fighters slaughter Faster Pussycat’s Carly Simon’s "You’re So Vain"! I take no pleasure in calling out Grohl for that mess, though I did enjoy the disdain for Rascal Flatts he barely bothered to mask while reading the noms for Best Country Performance by a Duo or Group. (Side note: Random to pick the Duo/Group performances in both Country and Rap to announce live, no?)
Christina Aguilera’s lovely rendition of "I Loves You Porgy" should hush up those who found her corseted antics on the American Music Awards a bit unrestrained; Taylor Swift’s barely serviceable rendition of Brenda Lee’s "I’m Sorry" (see embedded clip) should open the door for anyone who’d care to join me in saying for the millionth time that this girl may be a savvy little songwriting/marketing genius, but she has no business singing professionally. Really, we’re running out of excuses here, people. And of all the artists in the world, why was she the only one chosen to perform a snippet of her current single ("White Horse," which apparently requires that she sit down at some point)– especially when she received exactly zero nominations this evening? Was that the snub of the night? Justice at last? Or does someone just really have it in for that one Jonas Brother?
It was fun to see tiny little Grammy president Neil Portnow yelp with joy as he and Swiftie introduced the John Mayer/B.B. King Rock n’ Roll Ain’t Dead But We’re Gonna Jam On This Song Until It Is memorabilia project, and then it just got kinda boring until Mayer cracked the joke that he "played cash register" on M.I.A.’s Record of the Year-nominated "Paper Planes." Can’t make too much fun of John n’ B.B.– after all, unless you’re counting Mariah sharing a gospel nod with three other people and a church choir, those two dudes are the only performers tonight who got nominated for any actual awards. And if my math is right, Mayer has the chance to win five times. So. Let those good times keep rolling, I suppose. Other nominations for Record of the Year, btw: Adele (big night for her!), Coldplay, Leona Lewis, and Plant/Krauss. Here again, we find Estelle and "American Boy" getting snubbed– curiously, the 87 writers on that track got a Song of the Year nod instead– along with folks like Chris Brown, Kid Rock, Rihanna, and Lil Wayne, although I’m not sure which one of his ditties could have been safely performed on the big show, so that’s just as well.
And that was it. It was only an hour. Not too painful, but like I said, not too necessary, either. Now, as threatened: Seriously? Sugarland gets NOTHING for Love on the Inside, an almost universally-praised No. 1 album that was not only predicted to be a frontrunner in the country category but a dark horse for Album of the Year? (No, "Life in a Northern Town" doesn’t count.) Probably what happened here was the whole thing was too "poppy" for the "country" voters, but my god it’s like Steely Dan beating out Kid A all over again. Argh. I gotta take my rage and my head cold to bed.
Meanwhile, what did you think, PopWatchers? Did any of those performances do it fer ya? Have you now been persuaded to schedule a trip to the shiny new Grammy Museum (which, to be fair, looks pretty cool), and/or tune in for the big ceremony next year? Am I the only one who snickered when the announcer said, "All this, and the nominees for Record of the Year" as we headed to commercial, like he couldn’t believe his cornucopia of luck? And can you think of a persuasive reason why they couldn’t have somehow combined this shindig with the AMAs and saved us all some time?
More Grammys:
Lil Wayne, Coldplay: The Grammys finally get it right
20 crazy Grammy outfits!
Check out our full list of Grammy nominees in the major categories
Flashback: Who won last year’s Grammys?
Grading last year’s Grammy performances
Comments (1-30) of 173 Add your comment
Right there w/you about Sugarland! How does schlock like RFlatts keep getting more noms than Sugarland? Seriously?
Your comments are right on the mark. One would think that for for the innaugural edition of this ‘nominations’ show that they would keep it fresh and exciting rather than regurgitating stale performers. I think ratings for the actual Grammy show will suffer.
VERY UPSET ALICIA KEYS WAS SNUBBED
http://www.evincodesign.com/eameslounge.html
I LOVE TAYLOR SWIFT!!!!!!!! SHE RULES!!
Taylor Swift has got to go. She can’t sing a note at all. Makes me sick just to here her voice. Please make her go away.
OMG! Taylor Swift sings as poorly off key as Madonna! What were her people thinking???
Whitney, another great article on the oh so lousy music industry. I look forward to your next article on the other country music awards!
I may actually not watch this year. I can not believe that Sugarland received no nominations. “Love on the Inside” was probably one of the best written and performed albums of the year from any genre. They were seriously snubbed.
The singer for Sugarland sounds like she is TRYING to sound country, and that ain’t country. The only person I would want to listen to even LESS than sugarland is t. swift.
The evening was saved by Christina. She is this generations Mariah, and will be around another 10 years for a another Greatest Hits.
Grammys? Had no clue the show was on last night. Mainstream singers, for the most part, are awful.
Grammys–isn’t that a group of grandmothers?
I’m still waiting for someone to explain this country’s newfound obsession with Lil Wayne. His old stuff was so MUCH better…but I guess if it takes rapping about candy and pretending to play the guitar to get the industry to notice you, then…um…good job???
ooops! didn’t realize they were nominated for country album and colaboration for “life in a northern town”, still should have been for album of the year though
YAY, Lady Antebellum, Coldplay and the Racounteurs. Also Sugarland was nominated and I agree She can’t sing sounds like she is trying way too hard to be country.
I am very shocked and upset that Mariah wasn’t even nominated once. Touch My Body deserved a nomination or 2 in the R&B or Pop categories.
WHAT AN EMBARRASSMENT. The performances were really lame and the nominees were a joke. Won’t be watching the actual show if this is supposed to whip excitement?!?
P.S. Skip the Grammy Museum and shcek out the Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland. It rocks. And no Taylor Swift!!!
F. Fighters should not have tried “killing me softly”. NOT THEIR BEST STUFF at all…. just not good.
I’m not even going to complain about these nominations. The Grammy voters are just as out of touch as the Emmy and Oscar voters, so no surprise there. Christina Aguilera was the best performer of the night hands down. A nice understated performance of a Gershwin classic. I wish that I could download it and listen to it again.
No noms for John Legend’s “Green Light” or “Evolver”? Sorry..but..I can’t stop listening to this CD (and think “Green Light” is the most infectious song and video of the year).
[throwing flag for piling on TS]
I didn’t even bother to watch. Taylor Swift? Seriously? Can’t she be declared a national disaster area, so we can get her OFF my tv and radio. Please. Happy for Lady Antebellum though. Sugarland got robbed. I don;t know what those voters are listening to. That really goes for all the categories, not just the country ones. Ugh. I hate the Grammys!
“Green Light” was nominated for Best Rap/Sung Collaboration, and Legend’s album “Evolver” wasn’t eligible because it came out after the cutoff. It’ll be eligible next year.
Yeah, I can’t believe Sugarland got snubbed. And pretty disappointed Sheryl Crow didn’t get more nominations.
But bravo to nominating “Paper Planes”, Plant/Krauss, and snubbing Leona Lewis.
I don’t know. I liked Celine’s version of “At Seventeen.” She used to make defensive jokes about her looks when she was just starting to get really big. I used to hope she was not hurting herself because she was so so thin. Obviously, she was not — don’t want to start any rumors. But she did get some smack from writers about her looks. So a fitting song, which she sang with some respect.
my bad, the FF song was “Your So Vain”. sorry for the title mix-up. but non the less a terrible attempt.
they are much better than that..
Come on Whitney, I’ve been reading your columns for years, and clearly you don’t listen to much R&B. So while I can MAYBE accept that you know something about Ne-Yo, I’ll bet that you listen to Lil Wayne about as much as George Bush does. You’re not fooling me, lol.
Taylor Swift absolutely SUCKED on a variety of levels: terrible TV host, terrible makeup, terrible performance. I kept thinking, “Is this the Top 24 episode of American Idol Season 8? If so, this Taylor chick is going to be voted out this week.”
P.S. Christina Aguilera, your sultry, classy, beautifully nuanced performance of “I Loves You Porgy” made me forget for a moment how gay I am.
What TV is lacking is a variety program that celebrates music and the arts period. The producers of this show tried but failed in doing this. Christina Aguilera was the only one who seemed to succeed in making something old, fresh and new. It was a good thought but next time can we have singers (looking at you David and Taylor) who sing on key?
While I am glad that Sugarland DID get some awesome nods, I have one complaint:
SNUBBED FOR ALBUM? Are you people crazy, or do you just have no common sense? I was very upset to not see Love On The Inside in that category. You may have nominated them in 3 other great categories, but you forgot one.
Ok, now I am a huge Taylor Swift fan and I think people are a little over the top in their comments towards her. But, I must say Whitney’s comment “(“White Horse,” which apparently requires that she sit down at some point)–”…has me laughing pretty hard. How true is that. With that being said, I think they grammys are horrible. I will be the first to say that I am not very up on all the other generes, but i do know country. When you have people nominated for grammys who arent even on the counrty charts there is something wrong. I will give them credit though, at least this year I actually recognize everyone who’s nominated.
I’d never heard Taylor Swift before, so I was hoping that her voice was much better than her freakisly white vampiress looks and makeup. Nope. Especially after she performed after my alltime favorite Christina Aguilera, who mesmerized the crowd into silence with her vocal acrobatics. Taylor Swift is a packaged ready made meal in a world that should be a downhome cooking buffet of made-from-scratch food. She’s like the sugary donut of breakfast when you really want a hearty breakfast from Cracker Barrel.
I must also say that Mariah disapponted me as well. I own all her albums and she’s my second fave, but I can’t help but wish she would take some stage presence lessons from Beyonce. Damn, at least sway to the music.
Lastly, I have to agree that Lil Wayne sucks ass and is a terrible representative of hip hop. Uuuuggghhhh. He is nonsensical and useless to me. Get over him already, please!