Welcome, Hills fans and PopWatchers! From now on we’re going to be condensing our weekly Hills TV Watch into this new format, which will alert you to the most important most absurd events of the night (with timestamps included). Think of all the time and energy you’ll save by fast-forwarding through the blank stares and mind-numbing filler and watching only the few key moments that will keep you Hills-literate when conversing with friends and coworkers. (Admit it, you’re relieved. The show has been lackluster lately, and now that it’s apparently gotten the green-light for another season, we could all use a mini-vacay.) Now onto last night’s episode:
Up Hill Moment (14:54): This one belongs to Audrina’s sister Casey. (BTW, does anybody on this show have any male siblings?) After listening to Audrina ramble on about how life with Justin Bobby was all stars, hearts, and butterflies ("Things are going really good," Audrina said as she flashed those blinding pearly whites. "He’s been here a lot. His toothbrush is upstairs."), Casey dropped this mood-killing bomb: "But he still does the whole like, ‘Oh I’m going to disappear for a week and not return your phone calls or texts and you’re not going to know where I am or what I’m doing.’ Like, what is that?" Audrina was dumbfounded. I, however, was oddly satisfied with Casey’s ability to crush Audrina’s moment of bliss so quickly and succinctly.
Down Hill Moment (16:41): The entire sceneat the SBE offices. First, Heidi, with camera crew in tow, greeted theassistant with, "My name is Heidi and I’m here for Sam." Yeah, becausesaid assistant surely doesn’t watch The Hills, nor did shehave any clue why cameras were taping her. Secondly, what was up withbig-time CEO Sam’s office? Not only does he have a Star Trek/elevator-like door to enter, but once you’re in, you’re faced with agiant computer screen— literally, it’s in your face—with wallpaperthat’s imprinted with a giant SBE logo. Last, but not least, I voted this scene the worst moment ofthe night because Sam gave Heidi her job back after only about oneminute of Heidi apologizing. WTF? In the "real world," once you’refired, you’re not likely going to be promptly re-hired. Good thing she’s notliving in the real world then, right?
Honorable mention (28:09): Had the fight about Holly betweenSpencer and Heidi actually seemed legit, I would’vevoted it the "Up Hill Moment" of the episode, but alas it wasjust bad acting. Either way, I laughed out loud when Heidi finally saidto Spencer, "Maybe you’re the problem" because David Letterman just said the same exact thingto Lauren on his talk show. What are the odds? Do you think thisepisode was taped after or before Letterman aired? If it was after,then I wouldn’t put it past Speidi to mock Lauren. Actually, I don’tthink I would put it past Speidi to do anything anymore.
Okay, friends, on that note, tell me: What were your picks for best and worst moment of last night’s episode? Can Audrina please not wear J. Bob’s presentbraless? And how excited are you to see Audrina and Lauren battle itout over Justin Bobby next week?
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Yay, now the Hills recap is a mini-Popwatch item, we may FINALLY get Ugly Betty back to TV Watch where it belongs!
I second the motion for the return of the Ugly Betty recap.
I would like a damn Supernatural recap.
I am really more interested in seeing next weeks Hills episode – Where Audrina thinks Lauren slept with Justin…I just can’t picture it…Audrina is obviously looking for publicity, a la Speidi…losers! All of them…
Disappointing that there’s no longer an actual recap of the show but I guess I understand EW’s decision based on the dwindling comments it was receiving.
Still, Justin Bobby’s horrible fashion sense (the semi-ripped T-Shirt in Venice / the hoodie-under-a-rimmed-hat) deserved more attention, as did Holly moving into LC’s house, as did Lo’s strange facial expressions during the kitchen scene.
There is a male sibling–Spencer. (I think we all just like to block that out.
Best line of the night by Whitney describing Holly, “She’s like Heidi, without the Spencer”
No recap? EW having cutbacks also?
Im over Heidi and Spencer’s relationship…she is blinded by him and cant see him for the creep he really is. Audrina just makes my head hurt. She is just as blind as Heidi. Justin Bobby isnt even into her. He is there for the cameras. I loved how he kept saying he has mature and he has grown up…wasnt he burping and laughing about it like 1-2 seasons ago while at dinner with Lauren and Audrina? And what mature man wheres a hoodie and hat in a restaurant? And since when does Audrina see a piece of clothing and not buy it???? JB than said, she should where the shirt without a bra. Classy….Thats what you tell your girlfriend on national tv.
Well, that figures.. First good episode in awhile and EW goes and changes it up on us.. I am super disappointed about this new Pop-Whatever morph that has killed the actual recap. I know it’s totally lame, but I actually enjoy reading EACH play by play and not “just the highlights”.. It gives us all a chance to mock every single action each Hills folk makes, and not just the “best, worst, and the oh-maybe-I-should-mention-this!” I, too, thoroughly (did not) enjoy Jbob’s hoodie under the hat thing (what the h e l l is that about anyway?!)And I love it that Lauren doesn’t care about what Speidi thinks anymore. If only I could get my DVR to not cut off the last 2 minutes, then I would know what the Preview for next week looks like….
I don’t like the new format.
This popwatch thing sucks. Where’s my funny analytic recap? Half the fun of watching the show is making fun of it in the recap.
And, as long as we’re doing up-Hill and down-Hill moments…what’s up with Justin Bobby’s ripped up t-shirt? And no mention of “like maturity is one of the most important things in a relationship, I think?”
Absolutely disappointing to find this as the recap. EW might as well eliminate it all together.
I now know that I would never hire Bolthouse to PR any of my events or openings because if they’re stupid enough to hire Heidi back after what she pulled then they are too stupid to work for me. Lame, lame, lame… She was clearly only hired back for the publicity she brings the company through the show, but here’s a reality check for them: Sometimes bad publicity is not good publicity, especially when it makes you all look like a bunch of freakin’ morons. Idiots.
You know what would be great…if EW exposed JB with his other girlfriend or girlfriends…that would be excellent. I am not trying to get Audrina hurt, but I would just love to see the look on his face when Audrina tells him to hit the bricks because he was finally caught (if she has the nerve). Could you imagine that he has another girl like Audrina that puts up with his crap. Don’t these women have any backbone at all. He is a loser, always was and always will be…but one day he will meet a real woman who will do to him, what he has been doing to them. Heidi is no better…Spencer has removed every important person in her life and almost cost her a job as well…another big time loser…why can’t she see it…her boss told her to her face and she was ready to defend her loser boyfriend…what is the matter with these woman…they are weak and the guys know it and take advantage of them.
Why don’t they just change the name of this show to “Idiots Doing Fake Crap on TV”? My other suggestion is for the Russian mafia to just kill Spencer. I’m taking up a collection to cover the fee.
Can we please talk about the fact that Justin Bobby’s occupation was finally revealed on the after show? He’s a hairdresser???!!! If I had to guess, that would have been last on the list — right after tampon designer. What maniac would want that disgusting, greasy mess doing their hair?
Why does it matter whether or not Heidi got her fake job back? Is SBE really that desperate for publicity? Are they changing their slogan to “SBE: We hire morons. Don’t hire us”? Completely ridiculous.
Justin Bobby’s line of work has been out in the public for awhile now. And Smoothie, can’t you set your DVR to record until 9:35 instead of cutting off at 9:30?
By the way, I’m glad to see I’m not the only one who is disappointed with EW. If it’s a matter of funding/time I imagine there’s probably 1,000 people out there who would LOVE to write a “Hills” recap for EW and do it for free.
I miss the old format! I loved getting up on Tuesday morning and reading all the witty remarks, it made my day! Please bring it back, especially before next weeks “ewww, who wants to sleep with Justin-Bobby” moments!
Vicki – I am laughing…a hair dresser…no way…I didn’t know, guess I try not to pay too much attention to that dirty looking loser JB.
I am completely disappointment that this recap has been downgraded. The tv watch was always full of funny observations and right on commentary. I haven’t even watched the show in a year, but always read the tv watch (as it is usually more entertaining than the show itself). I guess I will no longer be doing either now. So sad.
I nominate Vicki — who managed to work the words “tampon designer” (lmao) into her comment — to be the new Hills recapper. Who’s with me?
I always enjoyed the TV Watches for this show, but I can deal with a shorter recap. It really won’t change my life in anyway. And that goes for the actual show too. The Hills does not add or take away anything from my life. That’s why it’s so fun to crack jokes at. Next week’s eppy looks good though. Some fights, some tears. Awesome.
Ashley- I’ll second your Supernatural recap! Although, if they don’t add it, tvguide.com does a great recap. I look forward to it every week.
Audrina is delusional! She actually thinks anyone but her would touch JB the tampon designer (I mean hairdresser – HAHAHAHA) with a 10 foot pole. Its a good thing she’s as hot as she is. I think her boobs are real.
No way would Heidi get her job back, she would have been fired on the spot not the next day. Lauren and Justin Bobby hooking up, don’t beleve it. She finds a@@ to date but she doesn’t do grunge
Hate th new format, guess I’ll read elsewhere
as a longtime EW fan and a lover of the Hills recap, I must say I’m profoundly saddened at this development of this lame “recap” Lindsay Soll is someone I look forward to reading on Tuesdays — very disappointed @ you EW! I also just cancelled my subscription to your mag after 12 years of subscribing. BOOO!
the recap sucks.