File this bit of news under the "Hollywood is creatively bankrupt" tab: Universal Pictures has greenlit a movie version of the Hasbro board game Monopoly, and three-time Oscar nominee Ridley Scott has signed on to direct it. According the Hollywood Reporter, the project will have "a futuristic sheen along the lines of [Scott's] iconic Blade Runner." Um, I don’t know about you, but I have no plans to pass ‘Go,’ or to head directly to my local multiplex and drop $11 to see this mess.
This, of course, will not stop me from starting a discussion about appropriate casting for the classic and indisputably important roles of The Wheelbarrow, The Thimble, The Shoe, The Terrier, The Cannon, The Top Hat, The Horse & Rider, The Car, The Battleship, The Money Sack, and The Iron. I’ll kick things off by nominating Dakota Fanning as The Thimble, and Mickey Rourke as The Shoe. Your turn!
More on related-ish topics:
Mickey Rourke’s comeback — The actor talks about his downfall and his new film, ‘The Wrestler’
Dakota Fanning: Hollywood’s most powerful actress?
Russell Crowe and Ridley Scott: EW’s extended Q&A
Dakota (and Elle) Fanning on EW’s 30 Under 30 (Actresses) List
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Most ridiculous news ever.
Huh. A cross between “Blade Runner” and Monopoly? So, we can expect to see Donald Trump in the role played by Rutger Hauer?
“I landed on ‘Chance’…Oh, no…it says replicants have taken over my hotels. Lose 50 turns.”
Rachel McAdams as the terrier!
Rachel McAdams as the terrier!
Hahaha – just posted a similar response to this Monopoly news on my blog (http://liftingfogblog.com/2008/11/12/monopoly-movie-finally-passes-go-collects-200-million-dollars/). As far as casting goes, I’d love to see Mickey Rooney back on screen as the top hat. And the cannon? Nick Cannon, of course.
I thought that picture of Mickey Rourke was David Spade.
Clearly splice in old footage of Fred Astaire as Top Hat. That way you can make something lame also offensive.
How about splicing together old footage from Toto in the Judy Garland Wizard of Oz? Toto would make an excellent Terrier. And of course, the battleship MUST be the Millenium Falcon.
Okay this sounds like a weird idea and how can anyone turn a board game in to a move? so weird
This post has shades of Dlisted in it, which is a very good thing.
Will it be just like Jumangi?
But with shoes stomping on people and terriers biting at them?
Will it be just like Jumangi?
But with shoes stomping on people and terriers biting at them?
James Earl Jones as the battleship.
As much as I want to make fun of this idea, I just can’t. “Clue” is one of my all time favorite movies.
Beyond ridiculous. What’s next, a movie based on Clue? Oh, wait….
Larry the Cable Guy as the wheelbarrow, Johnny Depp as the Horse and rider, and Maggie Smith as the Iron.
Kevin- Clue is one of my favorite movies ever. Based on a board game.
I think that there are several other games that would make a lot more sense to make. This has no plot, and no distinct characters. How about a horror version of Old Maid (believe me… to a single woman in her thirties this game is already terrifying) or maybe Del Toro should make a Candy Land adaptation.
After her performances on Dancing with the Stars, how about Cloris Leachman as the wheelbarrow?
Yeah but Clue had a pretty specific plot to it and had endless whodunnit scenarios which were used in a tongue and cheek way. There is nothing in Monopoly to adapt. The concept of real estate and some recognizable names is all they got.
That’s funny.
I thought the “Karate Kid” remake was the bit of news that proved Hollywood was creatively bankrupt.
It looks like I’m in the minority here, but I’m actually curious to see how anybody (especially a talented director like Ridley Scott) could possibly adapt “Monopoly.”
Jenna Jameson as Community Chest
Sure, I’m curious as to how it will be done, but I’m already sure it will suck.
I think it has more to with the idea of “Monopoly”, trying to have the most money and property….I don’t know????
HAHAHAHA! What’s next? Friggin’ Tetris?
At least with Clue, you can make it a whodunit without stretching credibility too far. This…I think I’ll wait until the preview and see how laughably bad this idea can get.
Also, LOL @ Tim. Jenna Jameson as Community Chest is genius.
Sarah Jessica Parker will obviously be the horse.
Most importantly, who will play Mr. Monopoly? My answer:John McCain, Sarah Palin as the thimble…….Sarah Palin jokes are getting old aren’t they? lol
Anne Hathaway as the rape whistle
Whats more important is who will play Mr. Monopoly.
Its between three actors: Paul Giamatti, Ben Kingsley, if they want to be a serious contender for the Oscars. But if they want something more commercial then Mr. Peanut.
Depending upon how ambitious they are with the adaptation, I don’t necessarily see this being so bad (unlike the proposed Karate Kid remake, which I recall is one of the signs of the impending apocalypse). For example, imagine a “Snow Crash”-type scenario with mega corps privatizing and monetizing all primary aspects of our daily lives? Sure, a literal adaptation would be wacked and wacky (Jack Black in top hat w/ monocle as Mr. Monopoly!), but with a director like Ridley Scott I’m going to hold out hope that they explore something interesting. Can you mortgage your unborn children? Can you play Chance with your life? I don’t know, but it could potentially be something I’d spend money on.