File this bit of news under the "Hollywood is creatively bankrupt" tab: Universal Pictures has greenlit a movie version of the Hasbro board game Monopoly, and three-time Oscar nominee Ridley Scott has signed on to direct it. According the Hollywood Reporter, the project will have "a futuristic sheen along the lines of [Scott's] iconic Blade Runner." Um, I don’t know about you, but I have no plans to pass ‘Go,’ or to head directly to my local multiplex and drop $11 to see this mess.
This, of course, will not stop me from starting a discussion about appropriate casting for the classic and indisputably important roles of The Wheelbarrow, The Thimble, The Shoe, The Terrier, The Cannon, The Top Hat, The Horse & Rider, The Car, The Battleship, The Money Sack, and The Iron. I’ll kick things off by nominating Dakota Fanning as The Thimble, and Mickey Rourke as The Shoe. Your turn!
More on related-ish topics:
Mickey Rourke’s comeback — The actor talks about his downfall and his new film, ‘The Wrestler’
Dakota Fanning: Hollywood’s most powerful actress?
Russell Crowe and Ridley Scott: EW’s extended Q&A
Dakota (and Elle) Fanning on EW’s 30 Under 30 (Actresses) List
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Most ridiculous news ever.
Huh. A cross between “Blade Runner” and Monopoly? So, we can expect to see Donald Trump in the role played by Rutger Hauer?
“I landed on ‘Chance’…Oh, no…it says replicants have taken over my hotels. Lose 50 turns.”
Rachel McAdams as the terrier!
Rachel McAdams as the terrier!
Hahaha – just posted a similar response to this Monopoly news on my blog (http://liftingfogblog.com/2008/11/12/monopoly-movie-finally-passes-go-collects-200-million-dollars/). As far as casting goes, I’d love to see Mickey Rooney back on screen as the top hat. And the cannon? Nick Cannon, of course.
I thought that picture of Mickey Rourke was David Spade.
Clearly splice in old footage of Fred Astaire as Top Hat. That way you can make something lame also offensive.
How about splicing together old footage from Toto in the Judy Garland Wizard of Oz? Toto would make an excellent Terrier. And of course, the battleship MUST be the Millenium Falcon.
Okay this sounds like a weird idea and how can anyone turn a board game in to a move? so weird
This post has shades of Dlisted in it, which is a very good thing.
Will it be just like Jumangi?
But with shoes stomping on people and terriers biting at them?
Will it be just like Jumangi?
But with shoes stomping on people and terriers biting at them?
James Earl Jones as the battleship.
As much as I want to make fun of this idea, I just can’t. “Clue” is one of my all time favorite movies.
Beyond ridiculous. What’s next, a movie based on Clue? Oh, wait….