Oh, do you, Elle editor-in-chief Anne Slowey? Should they be chillier than your heart but not as frosted as your hair? Excellent. Last night’s series premiere of The CW’s Stylista introduced us to an already-trying-too-hard-just-by-showing-up crew of young wannabe journalists whose "lifelong dream" is to become a Junior Editor. Um, some free advice: THAT IS THE WORST LIFELONG DREAM I’VE EVER HEARD. The underlings spent most of the hour fetching breakfast for Slowey (pictured), shopping at H&M so that she wouldn’t find them as heinous as she did when they wore their own, non-TV-sponsored clothes, and lolling around the fake Elle office/blatant TV set mocking each other’s appearances moments after barely being introduced. We’ve got some real winners here, like Megan, who was "given a chunk of money" to open her own boutique at 22, and Kate, who spent most of the episode in tears because no one wanted to look at her giant boobs. No, literally that’s all that happened until Sideshow Bob got eliminated for wearing a big-ass scarf but otherwise looking "boring."
Perhaps Stylista should be called High School Yearbook instead — did anyone else start gagging at Group 2’s puke-yellow mockup of a "contributors page defining your personal style"? My colleague, Tanner Stransky, and I were so inspired by its heinoustry, we created our own page that’s even more lame and immature. Tell us which magazine you’d rather read, after the jump. WARNING: There will be jazz hands…
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VS.
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Look for the pink one in the next print issue of EW! Not.
What did you think of the Stylista premiere?
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I always thought Tanner was a girl. Huh.
I’m surprised that you didn’t mention the BLATANT rip off of The Devil Wears Prada in the sequence where Anne Slowey was introduced. It’s s shame she can’t walk in those 4 inch heels. Megan is absolutely hateful. But, uh, yeah I’ll keep watching. And LOL@ ET!
Awesome page, you guys. You just might make Junior Editor someday, yet!
I think because you immediately think of Stephanie Tanner, ET. Just Stephanie. No other member of the Full House clan.
Right?
Your page is a veritable RGB extravaganza. Now go get me a mucho complicated beverage on par with Mrs. Slowey’s tastes, like say a hot chocolate…with (gasp) WHIP!
Gretchen you are sooo right about slowey in heels. She was a mess. So much for an intimidating fashionista, instead it’s an uber-editor power tripping. And has anyone seen Elle lately? It’s as bad as her in heels.
i’m sorry tannie, it’s supposed to be a contributor page, not a hot trends page. 30 words each defining your personal style, not 30 words together. and where is fringe annie? i think you really lost your personal style here. essentially, you didn’t do the assignment. and melon shouldn’t be mixed with any other fruit. and i only take my latte iced with a small straw. i don’t do wheat. i don’t eat almonds unless they’re soaked overnight. i’m sorry guys. you’re just not the right fit.
I hated every single minute of this show. I hope I can manage to resist the temptation to make myself suffer through it again.
Love your trend page parody. Hilarious.
I am so glad I don’t work for Anne Slowey… that voice! uggh.
And I totally thought that guy looked like Sideshow Bob too!
I had to laugh at the way she walked in those heels! What an idiot! I hated them all…I can’t wait until next week!
I loved this show! I was really worried that they were going to kick off Danielle for being “big” (really not much larger than your average American woman). Slowey is hideous and looks like Madonna.
This show was pretty awful, and yet I Season Passed it on my Tivo. I am rooting for the African-American girl who won the breakfast challenge. And the chubby girl
Look at you two – Tannie. Hysterical. p.s. – is heinoustry really a word?
I’m actually surprised I like this show (don’t watch ANTM), but I did and took a season pass on TIVO. Anne Slowey looks like a scary Madonna. She reminded me of The Prada Devil’s satanic sister with her icy stares, minimalist smile and affected speech. And her entrance was classic Devil Prada with no good morning, no smile, throwing of the coat on the desk… I did warm to her by the end though. Surprised Danielle didn’t get crap for her size. Considering that Elle doesn’t normally gear itself to plus-size women, I thought most of the staff would get all Ugly Betty on her. Perhaps they’re realizing that plus-size women outnumber the waifs and have $$ to spend on looking stylish.
How ironic is it that the last person scrambling with the breadkfast actually won? I sure thought Ashlie was digging her grave and maybe she would have done much more to the tray if she had more time. The time factor worked in her favor.
Tannie – your page is better than the Migraine Yellow!
The show was awful. Tannie, on the other hand, needs to be a regular Popwatch feature! Loved it.
The show was awful. Tannie, on the other hand, needs to be a regular Popwatch feature! Loved it.
I was surprised at what a non-issue Danielle’s weight but I was even more surprised that no one called out her absolutely hideous glasses. Anyone else concur? They were as big as her entire face and were really, really awful – glasses are as much an accessory as anything else, and I couldn’t even look at her because of them.
love the shout-out to the Bluefly.com accessory wall. stroke of genius.
” Sideshow Bob got eliminated for wearing a big-ass scarf but otherwise looking “boring.” NOPE! Sideshow wasn’t wearing the scarf, that Micheal Jackson glove guy with the shaved designs in his hair was! As for the overweight girl, I am WAITING for the Ugly Betty reference. The producers probably forced her to wear those glasses for that very purpose. I wish someone would have shoved their breakfast in Anne’s botoxed faced. And the booblicious girl. Aside from showing the girls, she’s pretty and sexy and the Megan is jealous and should wash her greasy hair. I am kind of in love with Clockowork Orange boy. MAybe it’s the accent.
The Stylista premiere was sort of boring, but not enough to make me stop watching…at least not yet. Most of the people on that show are losers, but I like Danielle (the overweight girl) and Cologne, mostly because she’s nice to look at.
Anne isn’t editor-in-chief, she’s only the fashion news editor. She’s nowhere near the level of Anna Wintour, the REAL inspiration behind Devils Wear Prada.
And I agree, the whole junior editor to the fashion news editor is one of the dubious job titles ever.
It’s pretty sad that not only are the contestants bad, so is the boss (she can’t even walk in heels! and that wannabe Madonna look!) and the “prize”.
Tannie honey, you sound like a bitter hating queen with nothing fabulous going on in your life so you criticize others. A junior editor position at what is currently America’s most successful fashion magazine is a perfectly reasonable dream Mr. Blogging for entertainment weekly! You go girl! And while we’re at it, if you will insist on reporting on reality television, at least do your research. Anne Slowey is the fashion news director. Nice to know people (you) are giving such a wide audience such ill informed opinions. Taxi!
Tannie honey, you sound like a bitter hating queen with nothing fabulous going on in your life so you criticize others. A junior editor position at what is currently America’s most successful fashion magazine is a perfectly reasonable dream Mr. Blogging for entertainment weekly! You go girl! And while we’re at it, if you will insist on reporting on reality television, at least do your research. Anne Slowey is the fashion news director. Nice to know people (you) are giving such a wide audience such ill informed opinions. Taxi!
That page was hilarious. Please please do a recap for this show every week. I’m begging….especially if it includes more homemade graphics.
Hey Author Annie:
“Um, some free advice: THAT IS THE WORST LIFELONG DREAM I’VE EVER HEARD.”
Um, that’s not advice. It’s a statement.
are there re-runs of this show?
Does anybody know what brand/model the glasses Danielle wears? I think they totally rock!
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