Oh, do you, Elle editor-in-chief Anne Slowey? Should they be chillier than your heart but not as frosted as your hair? Excellent. Last night’s series premiere of The CW’s Stylista introduced us to an already-trying-too-hard-just-by-showing-up crew of young wannabe journalists whose "lifelong dream" is to become a Junior Editor. Um, some free advice: THAT IS THE WORST LIFELONG DREAM I’VE EVER HEARD. The underlings spent most of the hour fetching breakfast for Slowey (pictured), shopping at H&M so that she wouldn’t find them as heinous as she did when they wore their own, non-TV-sponsored clothes, and lolling around the fake Elle office/blatant TV set mocking each other’s appearances moments after barely being introduced. We’ve got some real winners here, like Megan, who was "given a chunk of money" to open her own boutique at 22, and Kate, who spent most of the episode in tears because no one wanted to look at her giant boobs. No, literally that’s all that happened until Sideshow Bob got eliminated for wearing a big-ass scarf but otherwise looking "boring."
Perhaps Stylista should be called High School Yearbook instead — did anyone else start gagging at Group 2′s puke-yellow mockup of a "contributors page defining your personal style"? My colleague, Tanner Stransky, and I were so inspired by its heinoustry, we created our own page that’s even more lame and immature. Tell us which magazine you’d rather read, after the jump. WARNING: There will be jazz hands…
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VS.
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Look for the pink one in the next print issue of EW! Not.
What did you think of the Stylista premiere?
I always thought Tanner was a girl. Huh.
I’m surprised that you didn’t mention the BLATANT rip off of The Devil Wears Prada in the sequence where Anne Slowey was introduced. It’s s shame she can’t walk in those 4 inch heels. Megan is absolutely hateful. But, uh, yeah I’ll keep watching. And LOL@ ET!
Awesome page, you guys. You just might make Junior Editor someday, yet!
I think because you immediately think of Stephanie Tanner, ET. Just Stephanie. No other member of the Full House clan.
Right?
Your page is a veritable RGB extravaganza. Now go get me a mucho complicated beverage on par with Mrs. Slowey’s tastes, like say a hot chocolate…with (gasp) WHIP!
Gretchen you are sooo right about slowey in heels. She was a mess. So much for an intimidating fashionista, instead it’s an uber-editor power tripping. And has anyone seen Elle lately? It’s as bad as her in heels.
i’m sorry tannie, it’s supposed to be a contributor page, not a hot trends page. 30 words each defining your personal style, not 30 words together. and where is fringe annie? i think you really lost your personal style here. essentially, you didn’t do the assignment. and melon shouldn’t be mixed with any other fruit. and i only take my latte iced with a small straw. i don’t do wheat. i don’t eat almonds unless they’re soaked overnight. i’m sorry guys. you’re just not the right fit.
I hated every single minute of this show. I hope I can manage to resist the temptation to make myself suffer through it again.
Love your trend page parody. Hilarious.
I am so glad I don’t work for Anne Slowey… that voice! uggh.
And I totally thought that guy looked like Sideshow Bob too!
I had to laugh at the way she walked in those heels! What an idiot! I hated them all…I can’t wait until next week!
I loved this show! I was really worried that they were going to kick off Danielle for being “big” (really not much larger than your average American woman). Slowey is hideous and looks like Madonna.
This show was pretty awful, and yet I Season Passed it on my Tivo. I am rooting for the African-American girl who won the breakfast challenge. And the chubby girl
Look at you two – Tannie. Hysterical. p.s. – is heinoustry really a word?
I’m actually surprised I like this show (don’t watch ANTM), but I did and took a season pass on TIVO. Anne Slowey looks like a scary Madonna. She reminded me of The Prada Devil’s satanic sister with her icy stares, minimalist smile and affected speech. And her entrance was classic Devil Prada with no good morning, no smile, throwing of the coat on the desk… I did warm to her by the end though. Surprised Danielle didn’t get crap for her size. Considering that Elle doesn’t normally gear itself to plus-size women, I thought most of the staff would get all Ugly Betty on her. Perhaps they’re realizing that plus-size women outnumber the waifs and have $$ to spend on looking stylish.
How ironic is it that the last person scrambling with the breadkfast actually won? I sure thought Ashlie was digging her grave and maybe she would have done much more to the tray if she had more time. The time factor worked in her favor.
Tannie – your page is better than the Migraine Yellow!
The show was awful. Tannie, on the other hand, needs to be a regular Popwatch feature! Loved it.
The show was awful. Tannie, on the other hand, needs to be a regular Popwatch feature! Loved it.