Last night, I was watching the new Sleeping Beauty: 50th Anniversary Platinum Edition DVD, and thinking about how beautiful the film looks restored (watch a clip below), how wonderful it is that the extras give individual animators their due, and how, as my soon-to-be-born niece’s self-appointed entertainment director, I will obviously be showing her this long before Buffy. Suddenly I was noticing things that I hadn’t before: The first gift the good fairies bestow upon the baby Princess Aurora is beauty, and she is engaged at 16.
I don’t want to overreact, but I also don’t want to increase the odds that I’ll see my niece on The Bachelor in 2028 talking about how every girl grows up wanting to be a princess. (I’ll still love her if that happens; I’ll just make her blog about it and link to this post.) So tell me: How do you handle classic fairy tales with girls? Do you say nothing because they’re too young to read between the lines? Or, do these movies, which I hear kids watch over and over again, have enough of an impact that you need to say something like, "The three fairies were clearly bestowing their gifts in reverse order of importance. Beauty is least important, so Aurora received it first. The gift of song, which you’ll learn all about on that karaoke machine I’m getting you, is of some importance, so she received it second. Education, the most important gift of all, would have been given to Aurora last had the fairies not needed to use their final present to save the princess from her death sentence. Also, because the prince was Aurora’s true love, he agreed when she suggested off-screen that they have a long engagement so that she could explore the world outside the forest she’d been held captive in for 16 years."
Seriously, what do you do?
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Nothing. I have watched these movie (in fact Sleeping Beauty was my favorite till I was 10) and turned out just fine (I think). Movies, in themselves, are innocent, It’s the overall education that makes a difference.
My opinion is that you say something if the child ask question.
And to be fair, no movies (fairytale or not) will exactly point out the “real” value, ever.
I agree with Catherine. My niece (who is three) LOVES princess movies, Cinderella being her favorite, and I can’t think of anything I’d rather her be watching at that (or any other) age.
Mandi, I feel you may be overthinking this.
I don’t have any kids yet, so I can only speak from personal experience. (Yes, I’m a 26-year-old man who is stopping by Best Buy today after work to pick up the second season of “30 Rock”…and “Sleeping Beauty” on DVD.)
When I watched these and other Disney movies as a kid (over and over and over…as you mentioned) I really just paid attention to the songs, the comic relief and the BIG moments in the flick. I never paid any attention to the nuances, such as which gift was given first, and so on.
Then again, they say kids today are smarter than ever, so maybe you’re absolutely right to be worried. Still, if I were you, I’d be more focused on dampening any long-term damage Maleficent may have on your niece. Scariest. Disney Villain. Ever.
You point out that the movie was done in a different time and about a different time. But putting extra emphasis on “OMG it’s going to teach her to want less than she should” is crazy. The people in a little girl OR little boy’s life have a far greater influence. If you worry about that movie, read her a story that’s a balance to that.
NOTHING. I watched Disney movies (and played with Barbies) all the time when I was little. In fact, I wanted to BE Ariel (the Little Mermaid). Do you know how I turned out? Just fine. I don’t base my self-worth on how beautiful, or thin I am, or on whether or not I “have a man.” And if her parents raise her right, neither will your niece. Because it has a lot more to do with parents than it does with movies.
I wanted to be Ariel too to the point that I would take a diving ring, place it around my feet whenever I was in the pool, and try to swim around like I was a mermaid. I also reenacted that scene (too many times) where she pushes herself up on the rock. But I digress… I didn’t grow up wanting a fairy tale romance or on reality dating shows. I think you can balance the “fairy tale princess” notion with other animated movies like Mulan and Anastasia where the girl gets to fight for herself. (Although, in Mulan, didn’t the guy still do something in the end to save her?)
Obviously, our values are much different when this story was written. As a feminist I find it’s message revolting, and yet I have strange affection for Disney princess movies, go figure. But it’s called a fairy tale for a reason.
A for your niece, as long as this isn’t the ONLY movie she ever sees, I think she’ll be okay. And don’t let her parents spoil the crap out of her, then she won’t end up as a dolt on The Bachelor.
As a mother of two girls (11 & 13) all I can tell you is that you have to take it as it comes. Both my girls went through the princess phase and now I’m lucky if I can get them to wear anything but jeans. As a parent, especially of girls, you have to make sure what movies, TV, books, magazines, etc… project is not the only voice they hear. I always tell my friends that if I can raise my daughters to have a good self-esteem and a healthy body image, then I’ve done my job.
Oh please, lighten up. It’s a great, classic film. I have three girls who watch Disney films all the time and love to be princesses. I’m not too concerned about how they’ll turn out in the future. Their lives are a little more well-rounded than that.
I’m going to echo the sentiments here. I loved Sleeping Beauty growing up–and I turned out just fine. When you start to over-analyze these things it takes the fun and joy out of it. Your niece can be a beautiful, smart, funny, lovely person. Who she’ll be is not dependent on if she likes Disney princess characters. We take so much of kids youth away from them, make them grow up so fast, I think we do a disservice. if you teach her about being a good person, caring for others, caring for the world around her then she’ll be fine. let’s let kids be kids sometimes. And now I’m going to have to order this again on Amazon (btw, I’d worry more about that dragon scene. freaky!)
My mother bought me both Disney princess movies and books of fairy tales/modern takes on fairy tales that features extremely strong female protagonists. That way we could balance every sappy Disney-fied tale with weak-ass girls and “Prince Charmings” (some of which ARE entertaining) with tales of female empowerment.
All the princesses I ever idolized carried swords and fought their own battles.
You can worry when your niece starts asking your pets to do her chores and takes up a spinning wheel. Other than that, I’m sure imagination and fun are just fine.
get a grip Mandi
As the mother of a pop-culture-immersed two-year-old daughter, I often hem and haw over this… but I’ve realized that she is her own person and will be free to make her own choices – but like Em said above, I will give her a balanced diet of “princesses” and empowered heroines – and absolutely NO Bratz dolls. But I am going to buy Sleeping Beauty on my way home tonight…
Mandi, you are going to be a wonderful aunt. You obviously care a lot about this baby, and she’s not even here yet! Your young niece is going to look at this movie and think “oooh, pretty dress/hair/girl/animals”, and the nuances will be lost on her. That’s okay. What will shape her most is what her parents (and awesome aunt) value. However, saying “You know, they make it look like the prince liked her for her beauty, but it’s really because she was kind to animals” won’t hurt anything.
Pick and choose the shows you expose the younglings to. Most current kids shows are fairly modern and generally enlightened in attitude. Dora is independent and adventurous. Kratt’s Creatures features a girl as the coordinating brain.
Counterbalance Disney’s fairy tales with Barrymore’s “Ever After” or Kreuk’s “Snow White: The Fairest of Them All” and the like. I hear Yeoh is doing Mulan right, but that’s most likely going to be viewing for the Buffy age bracket.
Pick and choose the shows you expose the younglings to. Most current kids shows are fairly modern and generally enlightened in attitude. Dora is independent and adventurous. Kratt’s Creatures features a girl as the coordinating brain.
Counterbalance Disney’s fairy tales with Barrymore’s “Ever After” or Kreuk’s “Snow White: The Fairest of Them All” and the like. I hear Yeoh is doing Mulan right, but that’s most likely going to be viewing for the Buffy age bracket.
Pick and choose the shows you expose the younglings to. Most current kids shows are fairly modern and generally enlightened in attitude. Dora is independent and adventurous. Kratt’s Creatures features a girl as the coordinating brain.
Counterbalance Disney’s fairy tales with Barrymore’s “Ever After” or Kreuk’s “Snow White: The Fairest of Them All” and the like. I hear Yeoh is doing Mulan right, but that’s most likely going to be viewing for the Buffy age bracket.
I’ll echo others’ thoughts here and say that I wouldn’t worry about it, Mandi. My 5-year-old loves princesses but doesn’t think she’ll be married at 16 or she doesn’t need an education. However, Ceballos is right – Maleficent is one scary-ass villain, so you need to count on a freak-out. And Nanci’s right too – you’ll be a terrific aunt! I’m putting this video on my daughter’s birthday and Christmas wish lists – it looks great. The old version we saw earlier this year was so dingy.
I am a Cinderella fan myself, but also a staunch feminist, yeah, go figure. Yes, I am a mother of a three year old who watches all kinds of movies and shows, age appropriate, of course. These movies are just that, movies, and are not a big deal as long as there are other infulences in your childs life. I was actually more traumatized by Fox & the Hound than any other Disney movie . . . and, of course, watch out for Bambi!!!
You just have to try and focus on complimenting the smart first when you’re talking to your girls, and pretty next… I’m also prepping my kids for Maleficent and the dragon, because that scared the poo out of me when I saw this in the theater when I was my daughter’s age!
When I was a kid, the local movie theater showed Disney movies, a different one every week. I was as entertained as any kid can be and I turned out fine. I’d be more worried about kids watching crap like Hannah Montana that teaches kids to be sassy and spoiled. Girls will go through the princess phase, but it’s how they’re raised that shapes them as people in the long run. If anything, they’ll appreciate classic Disney films that were less about merchandising and more about entertaining.
who really cares?? it’s a fairy tale…she’s a Disney princess. that’s the way it goes. just let little girls enjoy these stories before they’re old enough to become cynical about them.
As a Disney-raised child, I was less affected by the dream of “one day my Prince will come” than by their villains. To this day (I will not disclose my age, nooooo), I get a little spooked by Maleficent and the Queen from Snow White. Oh…and keep that Bambi DVD on the shelves until she is little older.
Other commenters are right: your new niece will have lots of positive influences from parents and others, so just let her enjoy these films for all the pretty colors, the animals, the songs…
Your real challenge is to say no to Bratz dolls and keeping her away, until she’s about 30!, from the twisted messages contained in, say, Pretty Woman.
Cartoons as role models? “Don’t grow up to be like the two-dimensional primary-colored girl in the movie, dear.” Give me a break. My favorite character when I was that age was Snoopy. I guess I should be glad I didn’t grow up to be a World War I Flying Ace that sleeps on top of his doghouse.
Um, I think she was engaged at birth…which is much more creepy.
Many of you seem to say, “I watched Cinderella and I turned out just fine.” or “witches are scary, that’s what we should worry about.” Are you kidding me?? No, you all did not turn out fine — you, who make up a large % of our population and determine in large part how our society is run, did not turn out fine at all! You turned out to be people who privilege looks above all else, who support and produce idiotic “entertainment” like the Bachelor or Rock of Love, who teach little girls, or who believe yourself!, that your most important role is to change those beastly men into princes, since it is YOU who is responsible for their beastliness. YOU have turned into women who remove BONES FROM THEIR FEET in order to fit into Manolo Blahniks even when it is clear that you are NOT Cinderella at all. YOU HAVE NOT TURNED OUT FINE AT ALL!! My response? Tell your daughters & sons, “Poor Cinderella –doesn’t she know that she doesn’t have to be something she’s not to find a real prince?”
Uh, some people need to calm down – some people who did watch these DID turn out fine. I’ve watched plenty of princess fairytale movies (sure, mostly Disney), and yes, fine fine, our society “privelages beauty”, but if your daughter or niece or granddaughter or YOU think that, or “don’t turn out fine”, than it WASN’T just because of these Disney movies, was it? There are obviously some other underlying problems or you are just clearly SHALLOW. And/or not very intelligent. I watched plenty of Disney movies, I stopped wanting to be a princess when I was 7, and I don’t watch Rock of Love, and sure, I’d like to get married some day.
So seriously, calm down. Let them watch Sleeping Beauty, read Harry Potter, watch Monty Python, read Twilight. They’ll. Turn. Out. Fine.
Cinderella, get a life and a grip.
You have to remember that Sleeping Beauty as well as Snow White, Beauty and the Beast and many others are set in the middle ages and at that time it was more than common for a girl to marry at 16. Which is a great opportunity for you to make the past a bit more interesting for your child and help make those wonderful Disney cartoons a history lesson as well!