Last night, I was watching the new Sleeping Beauty: 50th Anniversary Platinum Edition DVD, and thinking about how beautiful the film looks restored (watch a clip below), how wonderful it is that the extras give individual animators their due, and how, as my soon-to-be-born niece’s self-appointed entertainment director, I will obviously be showing her this long before Buffy. Suddenly I was noticing things that I hadn’t before: The first gift the good fairies bestow upon the baby Princess Aurora is beauty, and she is engaged at 16.
I don’t want to overreact, but I also don’t want to increase the odds that I’ll see my niece on The Bachelor in 2028 talking about how every girl grows up wanting to be a princess. (I’ll still love her if that happens; I’ll just make her blog about it and link to this post.) So tell me: How do you handle classic fairy tales with girls? Do you say nothing because they’re too young to read between the lines? Or, do these movies, which I hear kids watch over and over again, have enough of an impact that you need to say something like, "The three fairies were clearly bestowing their gifts in reverse order of importance. Beauty is least important, so Aurora received it first. The gift of song, which you’ll learn all about on that karaoke machine I’m getting you, is of some importance, so she received it second. Education, the most important gift of all, would have been given to Aurora last had the fairies not needed to use their final present to save the princess from her death sentence. Also, because the prince was Aurora’s true love, he agreed when she suggested off-screen that they have a long engagement so that she could explore the world outside the forest she’d been held captive in for 16 years."
Seriously, what do you do?
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Nothing. I have watched these movie (in fact Sleeping Beauty was my favorite till I was 10) and turned out just fine (I think). Movies, in themselves, are innocent, It’s the overall education that makes a difference.
My opinion is that you say something if the child ask question.
And to be fair, no movies (fairytale or not) will exactly point out the “real” value, ever.
I agree with Catherine. My niece (who is three) LOVES princess movies, Cinderella being her favorite, and I can’t think of anything I’d rather her be watching at that (or any other) age.
Mandi, I feel you may be overthinking this.
I don’t have any kids yet, so I can only speak from personal experience. (Yes, I’m a 26-year-old man who is stopping by Best Buy today after work to pick up the second season of “30 Rock”…and “Sleeping Beauty” on DVD.)
When I watched these and other Disney movies as a kid (over and over and over…as you mentioned) I really just paid attention to the songs, the comic relief and the BIG moments in the flick. I never paid any attention to the nuances, such as which gift was given first, and so on.
Then again, they say kids today are smarter than ever, so maybe you’re absolutely right to be worried. Still, if I were you, I’d be more focused on dampening any long-term damage Maleficent may have on your niece. Scariest. Disney Villain. Ever.
You point out that the movie was done in a different time and about a different time. But putting extra emphasis on “OMG it’s going to teach her to want less than she should” is crazy. The people in a little girl OR little boy’s life have a far greater influence. If you worry about that movie, read her a story that’s a balance to that.
NOTHING. I watched Disney movies (and played with Barbies) all the time when I was little. In fact, I wanted to BE Ariel (the Little Mermaid). Do you know how I turned out? Just fine. I don’t base my self-worth on how beautiful, or thin I am, or on whether or not I “have a man.” And if her parents raise her right, neither will your niece. Because it has a lot more to do with parents than it does with movies.
I wanted to be Ariel too to the point that I would take a diving ring, place it around my feet whenever I was in the pool, and try to swim around like I was a mermaid. I also reenacted that scene (too many times) where she pushes herself up on the rock. But I digress… I didn’t grow up wanting a fairy tale romance or on reality dating shows. I think you can balance the “fairy tale princess” notion with other animated movies like Mulan and Anastasia where the girl gets to fight for herself. (Although, in Mulan, didn’t the guy still do something in the end to save her?)
Obviously, our values are much different when this story was written. As a feminist I find it’s message revolting, and yet I have strange affection for Disney princess movies, go figure. But it’s called a fairy tale for a reason.
A for your niece, as long as this isn’t the ONLY movie she ever sees, I think she’ll be okay. And don’t let her parents spoil the crap out of her, then she won’t end up as a dolt on The Bachelor.
As a mother of two girls (11 & 13) all I can tell you is that you have to take it as it comes. Both my girls went through the princess phase and now I’m lucky if I can get them to wear anything but jeans. As a parent, especially of girls, you have to make sure what movies, TV, books, magazines, etc… project is not the only voice they hear. I always tell my friends that if I can raise my daughters to have a good self-esteem and a healthy body image, then I’ve done my job.
Oh please, lighten up. It’s a great, classic film. I have three girls who watch Disney films all the time and love to be princesses. I’m not too concerned about how they’ll turn out in the future. Their lives are a little more well-rounded than that.
I’m going to echo the sentiments here. I loved Sleeping Beauty growing up–and I turned out just fine. When you start to over-analyze these things it takes the fun and joy out of it. Your niece can be a beautiful, smart, funny, lovely person. Who she’ll be is not dependent on if she likes Disney princess characters. We take so much of kids youth away from them, make them grow up so fast, I think we do a disservice. if you teach her about being a good person, caring for others, caring for the world around her then she’ll be fine. let’s let kids be kids sometimes. And now I’m going to have to order this again on Amazon (btw, I’d worry more about that dragon scene. freaky!)
My mother bought me both Disney princess movies and books of fairy tales/modern takes on fairy tales that features extremely strong female protagonists. That way we could balance every sappy Disney-fied tale with weak-ass girls and “Prince Charmings” (some of which ARE entertaining) with tales of female empowerment.
All the princesses I ever idolized carried swords and fought their own battles.
You can worry when your niece starts asking your pets to do her chores and takes up a spinning wheel. Other than that, I’m sure imagination and fun are just fine.
get a grip Mandi
As the mother of a pop-culture-immersed two-year-old daughter, I often hem and haw over this… but I’ve realized that she is her own person and will be free to make her own choices – but like Em said above, I will give her a balanced diet of “princesses” and empowered heroines – and absolutely NO Bratz dolls. But I am going to buy Sleeping Beauty on my way home tonight…
Mandi, you are going to be a wonderful aunt. You obviously care a lot about this baby, and she’s not even here yet! Your young niece is going to look at this movie and think “oooh, pretty dress/hair/girl/animals”, and the nuances will be lost on her. That’s okay. What will shape her most is what her parents (and awesome aunt) value. However, saying “You know, they make it look like the prince liked her for her beauty, but it’s really because she was kind to animals” won’t hurt anything.