'Ugly Betty' Bites: Willy, Lohan, and Regis

One of the best parts of Ugly Betty is the campy show’s hilarious, over-the-top quips from its cast of crazy characters. Remember how you almost choked on your extra-skinny latte when Wilhelmina (Vanessa Williams) uttered the now-classic line “Did you just gesture at me when you said Kwanzaa?” In that spirit, each week there’s a new episode of Betty, I’ll bring you a roundup of the best lines from the night before. Don’t be surprised if Willy dominates them—she dominates everything!

Here’s the really fun part: We’ll also post a quick video of my top three for a Quote Off. Check it out below, then after the jump, get the rundown of my nine favorite sound bites from last night, and head to the comments section to vote for your faves (and tell me which ones I missed!).

“Oh… my… God. Oh my God! Oh, Betty! Oh, I forgot how big andbright you are!” —Amanda (Becki Newton), after Betty (America Fererra)returns from her vacation to find Mode a cold, dark place

“I’ve been looking out for you, but you gotta look busy. Even ifyou’re doing nothing, which is one of your strengths.” —Marc (MichaelUrie), urging Amanda to get to work before Willy swoops in and gets ridof her

“Oh my, it’s back.” —Willy, upon seeing Betty return from vacation to Mode

“I was once voted the lay of the land.” —Player assistant Ginger (Kate Reinders), after Daniel (Eric Mabius) tells her to give Betty the lay of the land at her new magazine

“I said gingham, and you give me Japanese floral-garden kimonos.And dragon prints, really, Margaret? Dragon prints? After all theseyears? And thank you, Rodrigo, for the gift of white-face kabukimakeup. You really put the gay in geisha!” —Wilhelmina, chastisingher staff for their bad taste

“Like taking candy from a tranny.” —Marc, after he and Wilhelmina duped Alexis (Rebecca Romijn) into appearing on Live! With Regis & Kelly for nefarious purposes

“Oh my God, look at this! ‘Brittle and horny? Afraid your bones willcrack in the sack?’ Been there, done that!” —RegisPhilbin, while interviewing Wilhelmina and Alexis about Hot Flash, Mode’s new magazine for older women, on Live! With Regis & Kelly

“Well, I’m not a cheeseburger, so I know you’re not gonna eat me.”—Kimmie (Lindsay Lohan), after Betty threatens to hurt her forinsulting Ignacio (Tony Plana)

“She’s as reliable as she is fertile.” —Marc, about Kelly Ripa,after the host helped him and Wilhelmina carry out their plan to bringdown Hot Flash

Comments (78 total) Add your comment
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  • Ep Sato

    I love Ugly Betty, but thought last night’s episode totally went “cousin Oliver” on us.
    She’s no longer at Mode. Gio and Henry are totally out of the picture. Daniel’s at some lame-o Maxim Magazine impersonator (as if Maxim wasn’t lame enough), AND they’ve added an annoying child character who is French no less!
    Wilhemeena’s awesome, but come now. She was MUCH better as the plotting underling than she is as the cold hearted boss.
    And what of the old school relationship between Willie’s effem sycophantic assistant and Amanda as it relates to Betty? They were almost nice to her!
    This is worse than that stupid subplot/tangent “My Name is Earl” went on last year.
    How could they play us fans like this? Betty went on a flight by herself? Around the country with cancer surviving women? UGGGGGG

  • mscisluv

    This isn’t supposed to replace the TV Watch, is it?

  • Diana

    “More like ki-no-no” I busted out laughing so hard at that!

  • Verity

    Where are the TV Watch recaps?!?! First there’s nothing for House, now Ugly Betty has been reduced to copying lines from the script, yet Project Runway, The Hills, Dancing with the Stars, and other reality drivel are getting the royal recap treatment? I don’t get it. If this is a change in format, I’m not pleased.
    As for the Ugly Betty season premiere, I gotta go with Ep Sato on this one. Yawn! I feel like we’re getting the same plots over and over, they’re just dressed up to look like something new. The whole point of the show is that Betty works at Mode and disrupts the dynamic. How long do we have to wait before Willy gets demoted and Daniel put back in charge? And really, what was the point of Lindsay Lohan? The only thing that really excited me about the episode (besides the great interactions between Marc and Willy) was Betty getting her own apartment. Finally, some growth I can get behind!

  • seon

    I loved it. Vanessa Williams continues to do it for me. She is really the best part of the show!

  • Melinda65

    I have to agree with Ep Sato where Wilhelmina’s concerned. It’s more fun to watch her plot and scheme–and then get slammed to the mat–than to watch her terrorize the staff. Then again, all those employees who jumped ship are kinda getting what they deserve.
    As for Marc and Amanda/Betty, I was fine with the almost-nice-yet-still-catty aspect. I thought that the best episode of the first season was the one with Marc pretending to date Betty to fool his mom, and his and Betty’s heart-to-heart at the end was the sweetest part. A little growth there is good.
    But D.J. is literally the “Cousin Oliver.” When are they going to a movie studio and winning parts in a silent movie because he’s with them? I thought that it was a bad idea last season, and watching him be unruly and Daniel letting him made me want to ship him back to France.
    I hate Player and the scuzzy vibe there. Please let it be gone soon.

  • roseslg

    Wait, I think this means no UB TV Watch. First no ANTM, then no UB. WTFF?? EW, Seriously? Ugh, just ugh!!

  • Belle

    mscisluv & Verity I agree with both of you. I hope this is NOT the TV Watch for Ugly Betty. I look forward every Friday morning sometimes afternoon when it is late to read & comment on UB recap. What gives EW? Did you run out of writers? If so, let me know and I would be more than happy to contribute!!
    Oh, I agree with the Cousin Oliver Jump the Shark moment with DJ, Daniel’s little annoying son. He needs to go. Avoir.

  • kaw

    Where is the recap?? I hope this isn’t it. I LOVE reading the reacaps for my favorite shows. Apparently ANTM recap is gone too? In the middle of the season? Come on EW, be kind to your readers!

  • Jen

    I’m jumping on the disgruntled band wagon too, where is the Ugly and ANTM recaps. I love reading them, also where are the Bones mini tv-watches. it always sucked that Bones didn’t get a full recap, but now you’ve taken the mini’s away too. Come on EW be loyal to the fans

  • coco

    To EW, where are the House, ANTP, Entourage and Ugly Betty Recaps????? You won me over by amazing recaps and now its all gone, please explain what is going on. I’m this close to find my pop culture news somewhere else.
    SO uncool of you! blah….

  • SarahP

    Favorite quote was Amanda’s “big and bright” assessment of Betty.
    But I agree with everyone else’s main point: What happened to all of my TV Watches? TV Watch is my very favorite part of EW, I was so excited for the fall season to start so that I could really enjoy them again! I even read them for shows I don’t have time to watch, but I’m interested in knowing about anyway.
    At least bring back one for Ugly Betty and House!! (Maybe add one for Bones?)

  • slwarren26

    I think the regis quote was “Brittle and Horney?” not “Fertile and Horney?”. Also, I’m also kind of hating the popwatch conversion…

  • karen b

    Bandwagon joiner!!! I want my House, Ugly Betty, and ANTM TV Watches. I do not want pithy little throw away blogs! I want snarky editorials that help me enjoy the shows on another level!!!

  • Sean

    The show was more set up then kick off in my view. How can you not love the Vanessa Williams being bad parts though? The best scene was her in time square admiring herself. The truth of it is, Willie is great at her job while the Meades are clearly amateurs. The only one that can take her on truly is Betty… with more training. I would love to see an arc where she goes to a non-Meade publication and takes over from outside OR she does an All About Eve and usurps Willie from below.

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