Which other clangy kitchen utensils could replace Elisabeth Hasselbeck on 'The View'?

Oldnewview_l_2And now for your never-enjoyable-or-even-interesting View Rumor of the Month…Elisabeth Hasselbeck could be straying from the gaggle for an anchor position at Fox News. Which has us thinking: Since the current View lineup boasts the aural equivalency of a bunch of pots and pans tumbling off a wall, Hasselbeck’s potential replacement should really be some sort of item you can buy for much more than it’s worth at Williams-Sonoma. I’m thinking a large, stone mortar and pestle, to represent the uncontrollable teeth-grinding that occurs whenever I have to tune in. Having the sound effect there permanently would just make the show more true-to-life. Any other ideas?

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  • b0bbyr0we

    For a show supposed to be a diverging panel of Views, its been pretty weak with EH as the only conservative voice for a while, mostly because she’s so weak. Someone smart, young, and not already a celebrity. I don’t have any names but I’m sure there are plenty out there.
    Or, one of those rubber circles you use to open jars. They are so underrepresented on television, and don’t even make noise. Win-win!

  • b0bbyr0we

    Wait I take that back. Screw conservative. ANNIE BARRETT.

  • Anonymous

    Shocker, a conservative nutter taking a job at “fair and balanced” Fox news…

  • DanOregon

    So I guess she’d take the 5 p.m. hour if it’s true? It might also be that she saw what happened to Star Jones once the audience didn’t like her anymore.
    There are plenty more conservatives who could do a better job representing their perspective than EH. Her biggest problem is a lack of introspection.

  • Annie B.

    Correct, Bobby Rowe — and I should have mentioned that Annie Barrett actually is available at Williams-Sonoma.

    • Gss

      Me, I’d have carted him up to the top of Ruapehu and bruned his remains.Or, sort of following his wishes, put him on a bier and towed him out into the Hauraki Gulf and bruned him.. a Vikings funeral.JC

  • motherteresa

    I can’t believe that Elizabeth is still on television let alone The View. She will feel right at home at Fox with all the other homophobic out of touch rednecks. She can then preach her bs and no one will not want to punch her in the face. I would replace her with a fork because it will remind the others that they would rather stab themselves in their own eyes than listen to her babble one more time.

  • Thomas

    How about we leave Elisabeth and replace all the others with pots and pans or clucking chickens…but that is what they already are. Elisabeth is the only one who is not a racist socialist.

  • Dennis N.

    Move over, Megyn Kelly!
    Fox News nabbed a fresher, cuter, more submissive-to-patriarchy face of conservative republicanism!
    As for her ideal kitchen-utensil replacement, I vote for:
    A Magic Bullet. Deceptively simple, malfunctions far too quickly, and loudly blends any crap you can imagine to stuff within its confines without pause.

  • LynB

    Mother Teresa,
    Thank you for ruining the name of a wonderful, giving caring woman. Please keep your hate to a minimum especially if you keep using this name.

  • fancypants

    wow, this is great news! she’s finally leaving. i may watch the view again after she’s gone, but sherri sheperd might be too much of an idiot for me to tolerate.

  • fancypants

    wow, this is great news! she’s finally leaving. i may watch the view again after she’s gone, but sherri sheperd might be too much of an idiot for me to tolerate.

  • JohnO

    Thank You Annie! The title alone made me laugh out loud. I needed that.

  • to Thomas

    who are the other ladies on ‘the view’ racist against? explain your exaggerated remarks.

  • Dennis N.

    New uproar record! Nine comments in! And with a topic as droll as The View, no less!

  • Crafty Chica


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