'America's Got Talent' recap: It's a buzz-and-pony show

Some of you are undoubtedly still recovering from Labor Day weekend festivities, but America’s Got Talent is back to save you from those midweek blues. Because what’s more cheerful than watching 10 people compete for a top spot in the “showbiz capital of the world”? (And no, not New York, or L.A., or even Bollywood — we’re talking Vegas. The stakes are that high, folks.) To quote Piers, “We’re not running a tea party" — to which Jerry so wittily retorted, “Last time we had a tea party, you guys lost.” In case you forgot, this show is about America!

Joining the final 20 from last week, we had Paul Salos (who I want to adopt as my grandpa), the Wright Kids, Daniel Jens, Queen Emily, and the ZOOperstars!, who the judges tragically picked over Beyond Belief Dance Co. The first act this week were the Texas State Strutters, and oddly enough they were the second act to dance to "Boogie Wonderland" in as many weeks. I hope this becomes a tradition. Unfortunately, they were buzzed by all three judges. Overall, the judges seemed a little buzz-happy last night, with Michael Strelo-Smith getting buzzed twice as well.

Then there was Bruce Block. I can’t tell who would be more offended by this act, the midget or the equestrian community, but I feel like a lot of people are going to be pissed. It didn’t help that he performed the most obvious trick in the book: fake horse goes in the box, real horse comes out. (Watch the video below.) He didn’t even spin it around to prove there were no trap doors. But who needs trap doors when you have a PONY! In another shockingly predictable moment, drag queen Shequida sang an opera version of “I Will Survive,” because no one has ever heard a transvestite sing that song before.

The first real shock of the night came with the Taubl family, whothe Hoff criticized for not having enough edge. But what says edge likea harp? Obviously taking that critique to heart, they veered from theirnormal song choice. So there I was, sitting on my futon with mytake-out, waiting to be unimpressed by another dated musical number,when what do my ears detect? It’s Rihanna’s “Umbrella.” Performed bythe modern day equivalent of the Von Trapp family. It was awesome.

The only act I ended up being somewhat disappointed with was JosephHall, the Elvis impersonator. He was cute, he had the hips, he had theleather jumpsuit, and he was competing in Vegas, the land of whitejumpsuits and pompadour haircuts. And last night he got nearlyeverything right. He had the set, the dancers, the outfit, the hair.Only one thing was missing: the voice. Sigh. Looks like I’ll have toget my Elvis kicks at the local karaoke night just like everyone else.

So what did you think of the talent tonight? Did Michael deserve all those X’s? And raise your hand if you want more ponies!

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  • Jackie

    Shame on you for forgetting the best act of the night last night: Johnathan the Batton Boy! He was amazing! Other than him, though, nothing was really worthy of getting to the top ten. Guess they waited to put all the talent on tonight’s show. Go Eli!

  • Stephanie T.

    I dunno what Bruce Block was thinking. The shetland pony was absolutely adorable. However, the whole act lacked organization. There were too many people on stage. I say that if he gets voted through, he MUST bring back Skippy. That rabbit rocked!
    Shaquita sounded like a Muppet, and his voice cracked twice.
    Is it just me or did that celebrity impersonator remind anyone of 70’s/80’s comedian/impersonator Fred Travolina? The guy was entertaining and funny, but the material needs work. I think that he’ll go through.

  • Stephanie T.

    Michael did not really deserve the X’s but I think that he was trying a bit too hard this time. He’s really a broadway tenor, not an opera singer. I think that there is a slight difference. And OMG! That last note was in a key that I never knew existed, and I hope that I never hear it again.

  • DanOregon

    Baton Boy was good, Grandpa Frank Sinatra getting in was a surprise and I can’t believe Zooperstars had to sweat it out. They are saving this show from being a mockery.

  • marinak

    I’m not sure if this is a talent show for professionals or amateurs? For so called professionals all of them stunk so badly I could smell them up here in Canada from the studios in L.A.For amateurs they were OK cute but no million dollar prize maybe dinner at a local eatery or movie passes and a writeup in the local weekly newspaper. In all fairness Johnathan the baton boy is entertaining but a million dollars worth?

  • Anonymous

    My roommate commented that Shaquita sounded like Miss Piggy.

  • Agreed

    Last night’s episode was the worst so far (and that’s saying a lot with this crappy season!). None of these ten were worth the winning amount. In fact, so few of the “Top 40″ are. What happened to the Talent part of this show?

  • cndwelch

    My mouth fell to the floor in shock when the Zooperstupers were picked over the dance group. Would anybody honestly want to watch those bozos for 90 minutes? They don’t even talk! And wearing a fat animal suit and bouncing around does not constitute talent.

  • Smoochie

    Jaya, really, you must not get out much. The Taubl’s were terribly off key, the big guy was awful and nasty. Hoff is a moron. When I saw him writing I told my husband exactly what he was going to say. The only 2 better than avg folks were the flaming wirler and the girl singer, but the music was so loud I am not sure if she really was decent.

  • Tubby O Lard

    Please stop bombarding us with obese folks with underwhelming talent and acting like they are marvelous. They are not good!!!!!Last nights show was really bad. Thank goodness for the DVR.

  • ??????

    What is the point of the X’s if you can get three x’s and still continue. Someone please explain.

  • Bialistock and Bloom

    The only people with talent last night were Sharon’s plastic surgeon and the Hoff’s agent.

  • Terrance

    I’d like see that Limey bastard shove that buzzer up his backside. At this point in the compitition, let the performers complete there routines without interruptions. Pearce you’re an idiot.

  • Bill

    I agree. Sometimes the Brits don’t get it. Lighten up Pierce.

  • Ruddy

    Hey guys, the name of the game is to have fun. Fun for the fans watching. Stop with the buzzers.

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